I think I might make a "garbage" beer on purpose...

[pwndabear]

So in all of the research i have done in this hobby and all that i have learned, i have to say I have never tried it the "easy" way.

In a recent thread on here, someone posted a youtube video of a charming gentleman who seemed to have a way to make beer that some on this board might consider... unsavory. After that, i scoured a little bit more to look for these people that don't do things as we do.

This got me thinking: for the purpose of learning, I think i am going to make a small batch of beer following the most basic recipe i can think of using hopped lme, confectioners sugar, and yeast. I am going to stay sanitary to at least avoid getting an infected beer. I consider this a learning experience to figure out how some people do their thing.

Any suggestions on how to make my beer... i cant believe im asking this, worse???

 

[TomSD]

I don't think of it as worse, just less sophisticated, though some of the videos have made me shudder.
I've often thought of making some prison wine just to see how far people will go to drink, lol.

 

[david_42]

Easy way to make beer worse is high fermentation temperatures.

 

[KevinW]

What, no corn or rice?:cross:

 

[maxamuus]

Use baking yeast.

 

[WillPall]

+1 on the baker's yeast.

You could also sanitize with massive amounts of bleach and "forget" to rinse. That's how most people do it, right? You'd still be safe from infections.

 

[pwndabear]

So far: 0 temp control and baking yeast. im going to use regular sanitizer as i would rather not get sick with all that extra bleach...

 

[maxamuus]

Drink one bottle and give the rest to the in-laws for Xmas.

 

[XxonValdez]

Ferment it out in the sun in a nice glass carboy :rockin:

 

[smokinghole]

Use the worst tap water you can get your hands on.

 

[copper]

I've often thought of making some prison wine just to see how far people will go to drink, lol.

Stick a handful of orange wedges inside a small juice carton and stash it behind your crapper for a couple weeks. No lie.

 

[TomSD]

Stick a handful of orange wedges inside a small juice carton and stash it behind your crapper for a couple weeks. No lie.

I was thinking more along the lines of the raisin version. A little more work but interesting none the less.

 

[Jakeedaman21]

Instead of an airlock, use an non-lubricated condom with a pinhole in the tip.

 

[abrdnck]

Just follow the instructions with the kit to the letter. Most of them tell you that you can have great tasting beer in 2 weeks or something like that. The instructions will probably have you rack to the secondary after 4 days or something ridiculous like that. The one kit I saw at the local grocery store said to prime each bottle with half a teaspoon of priming sugar (or something like that).

Follow the instructions carefully, and I'm sure you can succeed in brewing mediocrity.

As an aside, has anyone tried hacking one of the cheapo hopped extract kits to make something better? Like, using DME instead of sugar, using some specialty grains, adding extra hops, etc.? Or is that a case of throwing good money after bad?

 

[Whippy]

It might be worth it to brew bad beer if you have a problem with friends always wanting beer from you. Tell them it is your new recipe and you will be brewing all your beer that way in the future. Soon after, no friends pestering you for beer! ...on the bad side, though, you may also soon have no friends period

 

[IrregularPulse]

I second abrdnck. I don't see the point in going out of your way to make it "bad" but it seems you're more going for basic. Such as what a noob without HBT might be stuck with Just buy a coopers pre-hopped no boil kit, and follow THEIR instructions to the T including racking times and everything. They don't mention fermenting temps? Stick it where ever your first thought would be to stick a big heavy jug out of the way. If they don't mention temp, don't consider it. How are you to know it makes a difference?

 

[lowlife]

Dont pee in it!

 

[pwndabear]

Dont pee in it!

too late...

Yea it seems the best route would be to make a kit as someone completely ignorant of any processes. I'll probably do this on sunday and let you know how my experiment goes.

ONLY IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE IS IT OK TO MAKE BAD BEER

 

[aerod1]

Call Coors, they do it all the time!

 

[Indyking]

Well, the guy who really got me encouraged to brewing makes his beer in milk gallons and it tastes good! Exactly! He ferments small amounts using washed and sanitized milk gallons. He just seals it with an airlock with a perforated cap, which he got from Amazon for 4 bucks (set of 3) in each gallon and let it ferment there. To finish it, he just transfer the beer to another clean and sanitized plastic coke bottles (the regular 20 oz ones!) or 2 liter soda PETs containing the priming sugar by using a funnel and let it rest until ready. Since he brews small quantities, he prepares his wort in regular sized cooking pans instead of using the expensive huge pots. Cheap and good, better than my first batch out of the coopers kit. Far from ruining it.

 

[jangelj]

you can check out this thread, it is long, though.
https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f37/premier-malt-extract-69019/

I brewed a batch of the PME with some white and some brown sugar. It was beer. Drinkable, but not great. I have made 2 additional batches using a can of PME, some DME, steeping grains and hops and they came out great.
The PME is prehopped, so may not need much if any bittering hops.

 

[BigB]

As an aside, has anyone tried hacking one of the cheapo hopped extract kits to make something better? Like, using DME instead of sugar, using some specialty grains, adding extra hops, etc.? Or is that a case of throwing good money after bad?

That is exactly what many HBS have done with their box kits.

 

[bdupree]

The worst beer i've ever made(mixed) was a coopers kit. It was the first and last time. I got the idea after i watched some guy on youtube talk about how great it was. What an *******.

 

[conpewter]

Instead of an airlock, use an non-lubricated condom with a pinhole in the tip.

Just make sure to mark the ones you are poking pinholes in...

 

[bentonre]

After graduating from Mr Beer I did the Coopers can thing (no boil) and kept it in my basement (which ran upper 70's to low 80's). Definitely did not compare to the AG stuff I make today, but decent enough to keep me interested in the hobby.
I know others will scoff at me, but my last AG I made using an AHBS "kit" for my own use and I never took a gravity reading. It is what it is... I am sure it will be fine... btw, I am an engineer, but brewing is a hobby... I don't want it to be too much work all the time. There are times where I will do my best and check it every step of the way, but other times, it is a chance for me to relax.

 

[IrregularPulse]

Call Coors, they do it all the time!

You try and make that beer and see how it tastes. They make far "better" beer than any of us here could hope to.

Just make sure to mark the ones you are poking pinholes in...

FTW!!!

 

[kingmatt]

I would be interested to hear your results in making beer exactly the way the guy from the "making beer the modern way" video I posted does it.

From what I could tell, he used pre-hopped "muntons light lager" LME from a can.

He did not boil said LME, but instead dumped it into his fermenter with 4 cups of powdered sugar and then poured a couple liters of boiling water on top.

Next he topped it off with tap water and stirred in the packet of yeast that came with the LME.

It also appears that he made no attempt at temperature control and said his beer would be ready to bottle in about a week.

During bottling, make sure you use table sugar poured into each bottle as a primer.

Follow these steps and let me know if you produce "good sh!t" like him.

 

[Indyking]

The worst beer i've ever made(mixed) was a coopers kit. It was the first and last time. I got the idea after i watched some guy on youtube talk about how great it was. What an *******.

I have done 3-4 coopers kits and have 2 more shelved to brew in the future and they all turned out all right. Surely, it's not quite like the good homemade beers I get from friends but better than most of our commercial lagers out there for sure.

My problem with the coppers kit is in their kit label since, to me, the beer never really tastes what they advertise. I just finished a "cerveza Mexicana" and while it is drinkable it's nothing like any Mexican beer I ever had. Also, their kit beers have a mildly peculiar taste, a bit unpleasant, which I don't know how to describe, regardless of the flavor. I'm not sure what causes it.

 

[tvtoms]

I made a killer ale based on a can of Coopers Real Ale.

1 lb cara 20L
3 lb amber DME
1 Coopers Real Ale can
2 oz US Saaz
Wyeast 1056 or equiv.

steep grains at 155
add DME and mix
add 1/2 Coopers Real Ale and mix
bring to boil
0.5oz at 60
0.5oz at 20
Add remaining Coopers Real Ale at 10
1.0oz at 0

Chill, pitch, relax.

Make sure to use the spent grains in bread to get more value out of it. I got about 5 loaves out of mine. Money well spent IMHO as it is the best brew I've made so far.

 

[tvtoms]

I have done 3-4 coopers kits and have 2 more shelved to brew in the future and they all turned out all right. Surely, it's not quite like the good homemade beers I get from friends but better than most of our commercial lagers out there for sure.

My problem with the coppers kit is in their kit label since, to me, the beer never really tastes what they advertise. I just finished a "cerveza Mexicana" and while it is drinkable it's nothing like any Mexican beer I ever had. Also, their kit beers have a mildly peculiar taste, a bit unpleasant, which I don't know how to describe, regardless of the flavor. I'm not sure what causes it.

My first 2 brews were straight coopers kits. Their yeast really kicks in with some odd (imho) flavors if you ferment it warm, even though they say it works well warm. I did my second one nice and cool and it was VERY much better right off the bat.

 

[Indyking]

My first 2 brews were straight coopers kits. Their yeast really kicks in with some odd (imho) flavors if you ferment it warm, even though they say it works well warm. I did my second one nice and cool and it was VERY much better right off the bat.

Great, I think the odd flavor you're talking about is the same one I feel in my coopers kit beer. Since it does not change with the beer style, I thought it was perhaps some preservative they use, or perhaps something in the sugar drops that goes within the bottles for finishing.

But what you're saying does make sense because I noticed that my latest kits fermented in higher temperatures in my house (about 78-80F) had the odd flavor more pronounced compared to my very first coopers batch, which was fermented at around 70F back in the winter. That must be it! Thank you!

 

[tvtoms]

Well, the ferment temperature is VERY important the more experienced do say! Sanitation followed by ferment temps covers a lot of ground in home brewing it seems.

Also I noticed that using the coopers PET plastic bottles.. well.. they kind of stink. Trying to be nice about it. I still use mine when I run out of glass (I'm still building up bottles). But I have definitely noticed that they take way longer to carb up.. Way longer. I drank my whole last batch and saved the plastic for last, and they still weren't as ready as the first 12 ouncer that I'd opened.

They are an odd shape compared to standard long neck bottles. So they leave more surface area exposed to the headspace, but less height.. I have NO idea why or if this matters, but just observing as a user I stick by my comment that they simply DO take longer to carb up.

I'm hoping to relegate them to birch beer and root beer duty soon.

So for the OP, when you do your garbage beer, bottle it in PET bottles! :rockin:

 

[Indyking]

Well, the ferment temperature is VERY important the more experienced do say! Sanitation followed by ferment temps covers a lot of ground in home brewing it seems.

Also I noticed that using the coopers PET plastic bottles.. well.. they kind of stink. Trying to be nice about it. I still use mine when I run out of glass (I'm still building up bottles). But I have definitely noticed that they take way longer to carb up.. Way longer. I drank my whole last batch and saved the plastic for last, and they still weren't as ready as the first 12 ouncer that I'd opened.

They are an odd shape compared to standard long neck bottles. So they leave more surface area exposed to the headspace, but less height.. I have NO idea why or if this matters, but just observing as a user I stick by my comment that they simply DO take longer to carb up.

I'm hoping to relegate them to birch beer and root beer duty soon.

So for the OP, when you do your garbage beer, bottle it in PET bottles! :rockin:

Interesting. I actually have no problems with the coopers plastic bottles. I have reused each one of my bottles at least 4 times now and they seem to let the beer carbonate well. I do take good care of them. I do not use a bottle brush because I'm afraid to scratch them. I simply rinse it well immediately after I'm done emptying, let it air dry, and sanitize before using again. I was first skeptical to reuse the bottles because the seal in the screw caps breaks after the first time you open it (just like a soda bottle), but the caps seem to hold carbonation pretty well after the seal has been broken.

I am not sure if I want to move to glass at all. I haven’t found a good argument yet that favors glass over plastic!

 

[hedonist91]

I would be interested to hear your results in making beer exactly the way the guy from the "making beer the modern way" video I posted does it.

From what I could tell, he used pre-hopped "muntons light lager" LME from a can.

He did not boil said LME, but instead dumped it into his fermenter with 4 cups of powdered sugar and then poured a couple liters of boiling water on top.

Next he topped it off with tap water and stirred in the packet of yeast that came with the LME.

It also appears that he made no attempt at temperature control and said his beer would be ready to bottle in about a week.

During bottling, make sure you use table sugar poured into each bottle as a primer.

Follow these steps and let me know if you produce "good sh!t" like him.

Those videos were holy sh!t awesome. I got a hearty laugh, even my wife did.

 

[hedonist91]

Interesting. I actually have no problems with the coopers plastic bottles. I have reused each one of my bottles at least 4 times now and they seem to let the beer carbonate well. I do take good care of them. I do not use a bottle brush because I'm afraid to scratch them. I simply rinse it well immediately after I'm done emptying, let it air dry, and sanitize before using again. I was first skeptical to reuse the bottles because the seal in the screw caps breaks after the first time you open it (just like a soda bottle), but the caps seem to hold carbonation pretty well after the seal has been broken.

I am not sure if I want to move to glass at all. I haven’t found a good argument yet that favors glass over plastic!

Plastic = Oxygen permeable. Glass = not oxygen permeable.

Plastic no good for long term storage. If you're going to slug it all down in a month, don't worry about it though. Go plastic.

 

[Indyking]

Plastic = Oxygen permeable. Glass = not oxygen permeable.

Plastic no good for long term storage. If you're going to slug it all down in a month, don't worry about it though. Go plastic.

A month? I don't think so...

Coopers claim their plastic bottles have some kind of inner coating that prevents oxygen permeability for 18 months. I have never waited that long, as I'm new to the business anyway, but after 5 months stored the beer tasted fine, the same like it was after it had been finished.

 

[xoltri]

I have 24 500ml brown plastic bottles from the LHBS. They work just the same as the glass bottles. But the glass bottles are cheaper for me (free) so I use them mostly. I do a few plastic ones in each batch because I bottle condition and I can tell how well they are carbonating.

 

[hedonist91]

A month? I don't think so...

Coopers claim their plastic bottles have some kind of inner coating that prevents oxygen permeability for 18 months. I have never waited that long, as I'm new to the business anyway, but after 5 months stored the beer tasted fine, the same like it was after it had been finished.

I think a lot of it also depends on where you have the plastic stored. I super clean room with not a lot of traffic or "dust" may be ok. I have never heard of 18 months ever in plastic.

I believe you that your beer came out fine, that's good! I've had stuff stay in plastic that I let stay in a lot longer than it was "supposed to." I have had some stuff go funky though, but that can be a for a number of different reasons, and we can go back and forth as to why on that one. One thing I did learn from that ordeal was this: Don't ferment in the same room you store and crush your grain in, especially in a plastic bucket.

 

[pwndabear]

alright, a primary is free now, but thinking about this, i dont think i am going to do a full 5 gallon batch of something that could be pure smut trash. Here's what i am going to do:

I am going to grab a can of prehopped coopers, use the yeast that comes with the kit, no rehydration, i am going to use extra table sugar, and will be fermenting in a milk jug with no airlock (just tinfoil). when i bottle, i am going to use a tsp of table sugar per bottle.

thanks for reminding me about this, hedonist. i'll post pics once i buy swmbo a camera for her birthday coming up.

 

[tunoffun]

bakers yeast is for sissies.

You've got yeast floating all around you.

Go wild or go home!!!!