First Time Brewing Disasters.

[Savage06]

We all remember our first time, awkward and uncomfortable filled with questions.

Does this really go in there now?

Is it too hot in here?

What the hell does this thing do?

Did I just hurt it?

What is everybody going to think?


Hey, hey, hey there buddy. I'm talking about your first time BREWING.

Let's look back on our first time and laugh at the ridiculous recipes, questionable techniques, and largely terrible beer with pride and humor.

Hopefully the newer folk on here will finally realize to RDWHAHB and realize that we've all screwed the pooch many times before.

 

[MindenMan]

I keep telling myself, "This time I will make notes while brewing" um, uh, gee whiz...
Did I close the valve in my fermenter, so I won't hose the floor again?

Oops, I added the LME while the pot was boiling, big boil over mess, and I sparged using a fine mesh screen, and stayed up all night trying to boil off the excess water.

 

[Savage06]

I'll start it off

After getting a kit as a Christmas gift from a girlfriend I excitedly run to the homebrew store to pick up my carefully and cluelessly formulated recipe.

I take the advice of the internet and start with an extract batch.

Pick up two cans of Amber Extract, Some 6-Row malt, and some Corn Sugar along with some Chinook, Cascade, and Nugget.

I started off steeping the unmilled pound of 6-Row in some 170 degree water for 30 mins to get a nice slightly starchy base going while bring the rest of the water volume up to heat and added in the two cans of extract.

Then I threw in the nice starchy water and when it came to a boil threw in the Chinook hops at 60 which quickly boiled over and went Pompeii all over my range.

Rest of the boil went off uneventfully and tossed in the cascade and Irish moss at 5 and then put the entire 6 gal pot in the sink to cool it down. Being the large volume of boiling hot sugar water it was this step took ages.

Getting impatient I got it down to about 82 and was like ehh that's close enough poured it into the fermentation bucket and sprinkled a packet of Sa-04 right on top and tossed it into the closet at ambient temp in my hot ass apartment.

After the fermentation settled down, I decided hey I like hops let's dry hop this bastard opened it up and dumped an ounce of Nugget and I also decided to toss in an ounce of the french oak chips I bought on a whim.

Hey if dryhopping for 7 days is good I'm going to dryhop this guy for 20 days just to bring it to the next level. I racked and added the prescribed 5oz of corn sugar and vigorously stirred it in.

and two weeks later got to proudly enjoy my Fusely, grassy, oakey hot mess of a beer.

 

[mmertz]

Looking back at my first batch I cannot help but laugh. My brother gave me a starter kit as a present for standing in his wedding. The kit came with a 3lb can of hopped extract and 4lbs of corn sugar with the worst instructions in the world. They went something like this:

Heat can of extract and add to 5 gallons of cold water. Mix in "some" (the recipe did not give an exact amount) of corn sugar to water. Sprinkle yeast on top and let ferment for 10 days.

After fermentation, add the rest of the corn sugar and bottle.

My dumba$$, instead of researching, only added about 2lbs of the corn sugar before fermentation, and used the remaining sugar for priming the bottles. How I did not have bottle bombs, I still have not figured out. Granted they were all gushers, and was lucky if I got 6oz out of each bottle.