First Homemade Beer

[Nooga]

Why is anyone taking this thread seriously? He's either joking or is waaaay beyond help!!!

It's definitely the former and maybe a little of the latter. I'm a former all grain batch sparging brewer (thanks for the help Denny) who slacked off from the hobby about 4 years ago. At the time, I was the only person I knew locally who brewed, but recently some of the guys I work with have gotten into the hobby. They kept coming to me for advice and it reawoke the brewing bug.

Was this site available 4 years ago? I used to be a member of a couple of these discussion forums, but have no idea what my user name or registration email was from back then. I know I was on the Northern Brewer forum back then.

Anyway sorry for having a little fun with you all. Although, if I had the time I've always kind of wanted to try to purposefully make the most mistakes I could on a batch (and still make beer) and see how it turned out.

It would be kind of fun to design the most terrible brewing process you could come up with that would result in a fermented malt and hop beverage without a major infection.

 

[neosapien]

well....make a batch of your original post and post pics then

 

[el_horno]

Shame this is a joke, I was really looking forward to pics and tasting notes haha.

 

[Demus]

Nice! Welcome back!!!

 

[JUST_BREW_IT]

It's definitely the former and maybe a little of the latter. I'm a former all grain batch sparging brewer (thanks for the help Denny) who slacked off from the hobby about 4 years ago. At the time, I was the only person I knew locally who brewed, but recently some of the guys I work with have gotten into the hobby. They kept coming to me for advice and it reawoke the brewing bug.

Was this site available 4 years ago? I used to be a member of a couple of these discussion forums, but have no idea what my user name or registration email was from back then. I know I was on the Northern Brewer forum back then.

Anyway sorry for having a little fun with you all. Although, if I had the time I've always kind of wanted to try to purposefully make the most mistakes I could on a batch (and still make beer) and see how it turned out.

It would be kind of fun to design the most terrible brewing process you could come up with that would result in a fermented malt and hop beverage without a major infection.

Lame!!!

 

[hunter_le five]

Damn... I got trolled....

 

[neosapien]

Damn... I got trolled....

yeah, but look at what the thread says about you, and look at what it says about the troll...

 

[MustBeZ]

Ohhhhh man, I should of known.

Guess that's what I get for trying to turn somebody on to the hobby.

 

[elkshadow]

epic troll is epic.

It does shine a positive light on those who took it seriously and tried to help and a negative light on the troll. Way out of line in a community known for friendliness and trying to be helpful.

I kind of LOLed but I would hope a ban or a shunning will happen.

 

[JBOGAN]

Quality Thread!Still getting a laugh from it knowing it was fake.All i see in my head is some neanderthal dumping a bag that says ingredients along with one that says hops in a pot.Waiting for a while and dumping a bag that says yeast and then sitting there scratching his forehead.This one made my day!

 

[bhaskins1]

''But since this beer is gonna suck then maybe an explosion would be pretty cool.''

Damn. I laughed out loud at work over this. Too bad this was a joke. I wanted to party with this guy. Probably would have brought my own beer though.

 

[Nooga]

I would hope a ban or a shunning will happen.

I guess I would deserve it, but I ask for a Dwight Shrute style unshun after a suitable time period.

Sorry I offended. I was hoping for a satirical laugh, not hurt feelings.

It's not like the posts were mean spirited.

 

[neosapien]

I guess I would deserve it, but I ask for a Dwight Shrute style unshun after a suitable time period.

Sorry I offended. I was hoping for a satirical laugh, not hurt feelings.

It's not like the posts were mean spirited.

Oh, agreed. I laughed the whole way through. But yours isn't the only one. Now think about a REAL newbie showing up and brewing a first batch just like you posted. You get enough trolls crying wolf, and the oldtimers get more and more jaded about helping people that actually do need the help

 

[Nooga]

Cool. And I promise to resist the temptation of going over to extract brewing forum and post about how all grain beer just tastes better.

(Jk, jk but those threads are always fun reads.)

 

[m3n00b]

Thread is awesome.:rockin:

Laughing so hard right now.

 

[goodgodilovebeer]

I think the punishment should be to actually brew that mess. Using only hard to get hops and 5 packs of limited release liquid yeast.

 

[Nooga]

Using only hard to get hops and 5 packs of limited release liquid yeast.

I would get completely flamed for wasting good hops and yeast. Last month I found a ziplock baggy with some four plus year old Saaz hops at the bottom of my chest freezer and just left it there. I could use that and bread yeast from the grocery store.

 

[goodgodilovebeer]

LOL
Leave them in a clear baggy outside all summer and use them in a tiny batch with bread yeast. Ferment it at something like 90 degrees and let the temp swing wildly! For instance, on your back porch. Give it to a buddy and ask for some feedback and watch their reaction.

Don't forget to filter it through a shirt though.