Corporate Fire Drills

[CreamyGoodness]

Every few months, every company Ive ever worked for herds a bunch of bored office drones into the hallway and talks at them while they yawn about fire safety. No one listens, because, like the airline safety lecture, we've all heard it a million times.

All I know is this. Emergency happens, and I am getting out of there, alive. You mark my words.

So I am altering a few of the things the retired firewarden says every single time.

"If you see the strobe lights and hear the alarm..." wait at your desk and continue to work until you hear an announcement... it is always merely a problem with the alarm. The announcement will let you know whether or not to panic.

"In case of an actual emergency, do not stop to use your cell-phone..." one of your colleagues, most likely James, will plow into your back on the way to the door and thus, safety. You could be trampled to death, and you will deserve it, you idiot.

"Ladies, you might want to consider taking your heels off at this time..." because, again, no one is going to slow down while you hobble down the stairs like an idiot. You will be a speedbump. Oh, and you'll deserve it. Any gentlemen, by the way, who might be wearing heels, I suggest you take those off as well. Not judging.... unless you leave them on... you yutz.

"If you see smoke..." look for a blur with a receding hairline. That will be James knocking over children, old people, and idiots in heels on his way to safety. Follow him.

"Never, under any circumstances, use the elevator in the event of a fire emergency..." you idiot.

and lastly,

"if no stairwell is devoid of smoke, get on your belly..." James will use you as a tabogan on the way downstairs, bringing you both to safety quickly.

 

[Revvy]

LOL....

Since I am in charge of a lecture theater that in theory can hold 175 med students (but in realty has about 50 on any given day unless it's a mandatory lecture then I have 300 in two halls) I am the "fire captain" of this corner of the building. I even have a spiffy orange polyester vest to show for it, as well as a certificate that shows I know how to use a fire extinquisher

The problem is that due to some stupid planning by the building engineers the fire alarms for my lecture halls were on the same circuit as the penthouse of the building where the physical plant is for our 10 story prison. So at any given time something they do 7 floors above me can trigger, usually in the middle of a very detailed and important lecture, late in the day when everyone is fried the alarms and flashers go off.

Since it's always a false alarm and what would usually happen is I would have to evacuate everyone out of the building, and by the time we all marched the three flights down, out the side door and around the building to our staging area, the alarms would stop...OR we would be the only folks in the entire building evacuating because we were the only section where the stupid stuff would be going off.

There was a period where they were glitching and going off several times a day in ONLY my area, during lectures, so they changed the policy. Now I have to call directly to the facilities coordinator and confirm what this is before evacuating. She then will call the building engineer, or the penthouse to double check or notify them that it's going off in the area where the folks who basically pay for our salaries are trying to do what they're paying gobs of money to do, LEARN something, and would they please shut them off.

Usually this takes 5-10 minutes before the flashing and or the robo voice warning us to exit via the stairs and not the elevators finally shuts off. During that time the instructor is trying to continue to shout over the lectures.

I just figure one of these days it's going to be for real, and we're going to end up crispy critters.

 

[Homercidal]

This reminds me we haven't had a fire drill in a LONG time. I better remind them soon, or they will miss their chance to herd us all out in the far parking lot in sub-freezing temps. I know they prefer it that way.

 

[jmendez29]

[ame]http://youtu.be/BignPBV32Sk[/ame]

 

[MidTNJasonF]

Around here we not only get fire drills we get tornado drills as well. Double the fun as we pack a bunch of smelly production line workers into the one room in the tin can we call a facility that has actual stick built interior walls.