with honey make sure you boil it a little first. You could also boil a little extra hops in the boiling water you need for the coopers kits.
Negative on boiling honey there... Get at least decent quality honey (not cheap crap) and the chances of anything 'bad' being in it are slim to nil... I've added honey when the wort was below 100-110F without any issue at all. I've even added it post primary fermentation with zero negative effect. If you're paranoid, then just go that route (post primary fermentation, while still on the yeast)... Just be prepared to leave the brew on the yeast for another few days to a week while the yeast munches on the fresh sugar you just gave it.
also, steeping grains is a pretty easy thing to do. You can forget the thermometer, just put the stove on medium to medium high heat. put the grains in a boiling bag and let them sit for thirty minutes. as long as the water's not boiling you're temperatures fine. If you do decide to steep some grains, I personally really like a little smoked malt in a stout.
Another option for adding honey flavor is Honey Malt...
For using specialty grains, it's pretty easy... The information I had on hand, when using them in extract brews, was to put them into the water when it was cold, then pull them when it had been at 150-160F for ~10 minutes. So, depending on your cook top, will determine how you need to adjust the heat. I WOULD use a thermometer so that you know when you're in the 150-160F range. Hold it for ~10 minutes (longer won't be bad, but I don't think you want to go more than 15-20 minutes), then pull the specialty grain sack (usually a muslin bag) from the water. Get it to a boil and proceed as you would normally.
Depending on what you're looking for flavors, will determine what grains you should use... Look at the specialty grains in some all grain, or partial mash (or even extract with grains) recipes. Find clone recipe's for brews you like drinking to get a better idea of what the grains will produce.
I feel that brewing is as much art as science. You need some science to get your sugar extraction, and other processes. But you use some art in creating a recipe.
I would also suggest looking at the Wyeast Labs strains that are good for
stouts. I've been using Wyeast strains for all my beers to date. Some I've collected and rinsed/washed, reusing them again. Others I've gone right from the activator pack. Or used starters with the activator packs (depending on the brew OG with the activator will determine if it's officially recommended to use a starter or not).
I will say, that since you're looking for your second batch, don't put yourself down. If you went through the first brewing without burning down the house, or giving yourself 3rd degree burns, you're doing just fine. You're making beer, not nuclear bombs...
Go to the LHBS and pick their brains some. Find out how they progressed in brewing. Talk with some other local people to see what they're doing and get recommendations on what to put in your next brew. I would also suggest looking for local brewing groups (look on meetup.com to see if there's one close to you) and join a few brew days. That's a great way to see how other people brew, and get exposure to different methods, styles, and techniques. Bring some of what you've already made for them to sample and you'll do fine. I do think that people on brew days are more understanding of new brewers. Just don't bring a Mr. Beer brew, in the plastic soda bottles and have high hopes.
We had one guy do that for a brew day... We were kind to him, but his stuff wasn't even close to what he was calling it... It was fermented, had some flavor, and was drinkable, but that's about all I'm going to say about it.
