How much yeast (and what kind) did you use? With the heavier malts, there is more starch converted to sugar during the mash process, so if you're heavy on the yeast like I was (well, am) there will be major fermentation. You should be set with the blow-off tube though.
I don't think you need to be concerned about the foam escaping, it's just a mixture of the wort and CO2. Someone else can correct me if I'm wrong though.
Yes, as you add malt, you're increasing the amount of sugars to be converted during fermentation, so it will take longer.
I'm not using a secondary fermenter on my stout, but I will be using a different bottling bucket so I will be mixing the beer and priming sugar then. However, if you're going to bottle straight from your primary, while you're boiling your sugar just sterilize a spoon (the one you used while adding the malt to the water) and stir the sugar water into the beer as you add it. As long as you agitate it you'll be fine.
Hope this helps, happy brewing!