Best response to telling someone you homebrew

[Dave6187]

My friends are all excited that I'm doing this, they keep asking me stupid questions like "is it illegal?" why does it take so long?

My best response yet was when I asked my dad what his favorite STYLE of beer was. And he starts going on welll I really like yuengling, and killians is good, but i f#*$&ing hate bud...

I just left it at that

 

[tenglert]

One I used to hear all the time, "Won't that stuff make you go blind?"

 

[AlesNeverFail]

the worst...almost makes me want to just walk away from someone mid conversation.

"Oh, so are you an alcoholic or something?"

 

[Tsuyako]

"Hey bro, I'm going to start making my own beer!"

"You know you have to serve that at room temperature right?"

"Why?"

*Forgotten this part of the converstaion*

"All home brewed beer tastes like top ramen"

"Uh, no."


Needless to say, now he want's to save my beer for special occasions and asks politely if he can have some

 

[Bernie Brewer]

"I won't drink that sh!t."

"Do you make that dark stuff? I don't like that"

"Can you make it taste like Bud Light?" yes, I can..........

"How long does it take? Yikes, I can't wait that long!"

"Is it expensive?"

"I can't handle that stuff. It's too strong. I get drunk too fast"

"How much do you make at a time? Ten gallons? Yikes, you better go to AA"

"Won't it make you go blind?" Yes, I too have heard that one

 

[amercuric]

"Have you gotten to taste any of it yet?"

Lulz... Yes. I have.

 

[jlpred55]

#1 that I just hate to hear "oh you like that thick beer".
or
"you must be pretty good at it if you can drink it, cuz I heard that it is hard to make and taste like sh*t"
or
"better not let that slip out in the wrong company or you could be arrested"
or
"Isn't that the stuff they feed to cows"
or
"can you make bud light?"

 

[Sigafoos]

One I used to hear all the time, "Won't that stuff make you go blind?"

Only my Masturbation Mild. Puts hair on your chest and palms.

 

[Tonedef131]

My father in law asked "so what kind of alcohol do you put in it?" It took me a second to realize that he thought I mixed up some flavor ingredients and dumped vodka or something in to add alcohol.

Most people just ask if they can taste it, then the next question after tasting is if they can buy it.

 

[smizak]

A friend of mine on his first sample of my homebrew:

"Wow, this actually tastes like beer!"

Um, thanks I guess?

 

[flyangler18]

My mother-in-law actually asked me:

"So what's the difference between ale and beer?"

<face-palm>

[history nerd]Historically, there was a difference. Ale was unhopped, beer was hopped.[/history nerd]

Carry on!

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

I have been asked to brew for peoples occasions but, the best respons I have gotten to HomeBrew was from a Sherrif who stopped dead in his patrol after seeing me mid brew in the garage.

Brewing is actually not leagal in Oklahoma so......

He stopped his patrol car in teh middle of the street. Got out and walked up the drive. Asked if he could come into the garage.

At this point I was expecting a long lecture about distilling. He walked up to the boil kettle took a whiff and said "Beer?"

"Yes" I said.

"3 point?" he said.

"Yes" I said.

"Health Department regulates 3 point and doesn't have any ordinance to prohibit home brew. ABLE commission only prohibits above 3 point."

long silence and he takes another whiff

"Carry On" turns and walks back toward the car "might wanna close that door some and get some good fans".

Best response I have had yet!

 

[bernerbrau]

"Is this like your grand scheme to grow coffee beans and build a fortune through coffee sales?"

This came from that ****** I ranted about a few weeks ago. I did try growing a coffee plant at one point but the beans never sprouted. And he was highly exaggerating; a well-tended plant can yield drastic savings in coffee expenses. I never wanted to go into business as a coffee exporter.

 

[IrregularPulse]

I showed a friend my setup and the beer on tap - he says "I would try it but keg beer gives me a head-ache" --- but we all ways get pitchers from the bar?
WTF?

I got this response from one of the engineers here the other day, but then then he told me to bring him some in in bottles to try

I'll probably bring him a few bottles in once I get my lastest batch of Phat Tire carbed.

When I first started, my friends would say:
You made this Bradley?, Very Good sir, Wow, this is good. I don't like beer but this isn't bad. (last one was my mom).
One of my favs from my cousin drinkin the Black pepper Wit. "This is good, it would be really good if you left out.......The pepper."
Granted the lastest batch came out Pretty peppery, But I love it. I will cut it back some next time though.

 

[Trubadour]

"Cool, you should move up to moon shine"

 

[GilaMinumBeer]

"Is this like your grand scheme to grow coffee beans and build a fortune through coffee sales?"

This came from that ****** I ranted about a few weeks ago.

You need to become one of those "guys". You know, one those "matrix, underground, code geeks" and write a program that does all sorts of dastardly deeds using his IP addy as the source. You know, transfer some federal funds to an agenda group. Have a custom italian sports car delivered.

Something fun and un-traceable to anyone but him.

 

[HenryHill]

You need to become one of those "guys". You know, one those "matrix, underground, code geeks" and write a program that does all sorts of dastardly deeds using his IP addy as the source. You know, transfer some federal funds to an agenda group. Have a custom italian sports car delivered.

Something fun and un-traceable to anyone but him.

This guy deserves the whole nine yards. Magazine subscriptions are only the beginning.

Anarchist Cookbook - Powered by Anarchy!

 

[IrregularPulse]

I think the guy he has problems with is the same he was complaining about in another thread who is also a code monkey and from what I understand just as good if not slightly better then Brownie. So I'd stay away from the code wars. Keep it simple. Flaming Dog **** on the doorstep! Or if you know he won't be home for a long time, take your lawn mower to his house and cut I'M A DOUCHBAG into his lawn on the lowest deck setting you have.

 

[bernerbrau]

I really don't know where the guy lives, or his email address, or phone number, and obtaining any of those things would entail cluing in people who like him to my deeds. Three years ago he lived in an apartment, so if he still lives there, there would be video footage of any neighborly prank I tried to pull.

I think instead, I bring homebrew to NashDL meetings and after I get positive reviews, say he doesn't get any because he's a *********. You know, go all little red hen on his ass. Of course he'd probably go "I don't need any of your crappy beer" or some stupid crap like that, because he knows that **** hurts my feelings.

 

[Cpt_Kirks]

Is "He insulted my beer" an excuse to shoot someone in Tennessee? I think it is in Texas.

I'll research that and get back to you...

 

[IrregularPulse]

Of course he'd probably go "I don't need any of your crappy beer" or some stupid crap like that, because he knows that **** hurts my feelings.

Everybody...1...2...3.....AAAWWWW!!!

C'mon Brownie. Don't let some DB's 3rd grade response to you about your beer bothers you. Just ignore him. If he says "I don't need any of your crappy beer" simply reply, well, then I guess everyone wins, You don't have to drink any of my crappy beer, and there's more for everyone else at this table that can't get enough of it "

 

[bernerbrau]

Everybody...1...2...3.....AAAWWWW!!!

Yeah dude, I think we've firmly established that you think me being a sensitive guy is a weakness.

"Sensitive Guy" is not something I actively try to be, it's just who I am. My natural response to snobbish dickery is to be offended, and my natural response to snobbish dickery directed at ME is to feel hurt. After 20 years of trying to bury those responses because I "shouldn't let it get to me" I've decided I'm effing tired of pretending it doesn't.

But I've hijacked this thread long enough.

 

[Revvy]

You all will probably find these amusing....

https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f45/stupidest-comment-your-beer-54730/?highlight=Stupidest

 

[bottleopener]

"is it beer?"

 

[Six_O_Turbo]

Neighbor gal: "You brew your own beer?"

Me: "Yep, here's a bottle, give it a try..."

Neighbor gal: "This is the best beer I have ever tasted!! Would you like a BJ?"

This didn't really happen, but it would be the best response to telling someone I homebrew..........

 

[rvbrewer]

I was brewing about a month ago when a very intoxicated neighbor holding a natty light walked up right at flame out, the ensuing conversation:
Him: You boiling crawfish ( lid was off, clearly a very dark stout)
Me: No, I am actually brewing beer
Him: (While holding out the natty can for me to see) I like beer, can I try it?
Me: It is not ready...
Him: What do you mean, its right there (points at the kettle)
Me: That is just wort, I have to add yeast, give it time to ferment
Him: Ferment???? I just want some now before it goes bad, do you have a glass I can use???
Me: Goodbye (as I carry my kettle inside away from him)

In hindsight I should have given him a glass of 200 degree wort.

 

[sketerbuck]

" Can you make anything that is as good as budweiser ".............." I tried some once it was horrible "............" Does it have alcohol in it "........." Do you get sick after you drink it "

 

[Ragutis]

the worst...almost makes me want to just walk away from someone mid conversation.

"Oh, so are you an alcoholic or something?"

If someone says this to me, I say "Hell no...alcoholics go to meetings".

 

[masonsjax]

"Ooh man, last time I homebrewed...woo hoo, that sh*t will get you drunk! Me and my buddy made it in a pig and..."
"A pig?"
"Ya one of those small kegs is called a pig. We drank the whole thing, just the 2 of us! Man were we F'ed up! So you gonna bring me some of yours to try"
"Absolutely not"
"Why not?"
"I don't have any pigs"

 

[AlesNeverFail]

If someone says this to me, I say "Hell no...alcoholics go to meetings".

That's what i should have said! Usually i try to briefly explain the time and effort that goes into brewing, etc. Actually last night i got "This beer tastes professional", my new favorite.