homebrew4less.com ships to APO and his shipping is reasonable to Europe because he is in Pa. I ordered an entire Top Tier to my APO box from him. I used to order bulk grain from him but I stopped after one of the boxes didn't hold up during shipment. I don't think it was any fault of the vendor. The PO workers don't always handle our stuff with care. It was pretty comical when I picked up that box. The girl at the counter says "Are you the guy with all the seeds?" I said, "yupp, that's me. I ordered a giant box of seeds."
Apexbrewwares.com is a pretty great site for APO shipping. Jeremy usually honors flat rate which most places won't do for some reason. Another thing I like about him is you can build a grain bill even if you only need a couple ounces of something and he will put it together for you.
labelpeelers.com has reasonable shipping but not as cheap as the other two. But, they have a bigger selection so I will go with them if I can't find what I need at apex or hb4less.
For bulk grain, you should check out Brouwland.com. Have it shipped to your doorstep though, not your APO. I have been using Pearl malt from them for my base malt with good results. I also like to order my yeast from them. I have ordered yeast from the states with good results but I did have a bad batch or two that I attribute to yeast health (even with a starter). So, my advice is pay the extra from Brouwland and don't risk it. They are only about 1.5 hrs from you if you want to make a trip to their store.
Also, check out the stainless offerings from Italy while you're here. You can get a stainless bucket or conical for pretty cheap:
http://www.pinta.it/catalog/49/fermentatori_inox.html
By the way, not to hijack but did you actually get a call through to Westvleteren to pick up a case? Is so, how did you do it? I have gotten it from the bars but I tried calling that line over 100 times one day and finally gave up.