A friendly note to horrible parkers...

[uglygoat]

you probably shouldn't vandalize his bike. if you put a padlock on it and he doesn't notice and tears his **** up, or gets hurt you're fooked, probably fired if it's at work, and legally responsible.

 

[ChshreCat]

If there's birds around, just sprinkle his bike with bread crumbs. When he gets back the crumbs will be gone but the birds will leave gifts all over his bike.

 

[Schlenkerla]

For the bike problem

- You need a squirt gun or spray bottle filled with diluted naval jelly. Spray the tank, chrome or any coated surface. Battery acid might do the trick too. It will peel paint or strip chrome off.

- Use a can of "Great Stuff" and fill his exhaust full of that hardened foam. That will mess up his bike with him wondering WTF is wrong with my bike.

- Toothpicks or super glue in the ignition key slot.

That comes from my devious past.


I once lived in an apartment with assigned parking. Some a$$hole parked in my space. SWMBO and I had adjacent spaces. I decided to double park behind the SWMBO's & a$$holes for the entire weekend. Think of a "T"

I moved my car just so SWMBO and I could pull out, and then moved it back thus leaving a$$hole stuck. I could have moved into SWMBOs empty space. Decided not to, A$$hole needed to be taught a lesson

We both had piece-O-$hit cars so if they keyed us we wouldn't even notice. Not to mention I had the lic. plate number.

 

[david_42]

If there's birds around, just sprinkle his bike with bread crumbs. When he gets back the crumbs will be gone but the birds will leave gifts all over his bike.

Excellent!

 

[TXCrash]

If there's birds around, just sprinkle his bike with bread crumbs. When he gets back the crumbs will be gone but the birds will leave gifts all over his bike.

I think we have a winner.

Just to be clear: Any mention of actual vandalism of the bike is in jest. If I wanted to do that I'd just knock the thing down. Even though the guy's a peckerhead there's still a "brotherhood" thing because he rides a bike.

The bird idea, however, is perfect.

Muhahaha

 

[Bernie Brewer]

The guy on the bike is the same kind of a$$hat that I mentioned earlier that will take up 4 spaces with his car to keep from getting door dings. That kind of sh!t drives me batty. I always want to key their car when I see that but my conscience always gets the better of me. Who the fcku do those people think they are, anyway?

I say you get some really big dudes to move the bike to the other end of the lot. Or better yet, a different lot. Then watch him panic when he thinks it got ripped off. The bike won't be damaged, just moved.

 

[TXCrash]

I'm a big dude. Bigger than him.

Problem is - touch another guys bike and it's likely to come to blows if it's unwanted or misunderstood. I'm not sure if he locks the forks or not (so the bike can't be rolled straight) but most bikes can pretty simply be rolled straight by one person with no key.

But I don't want a fight and I don't want to pay for dropping a bike (crap happens).

The guy on the bike is the same kind of a$$hat that I mentioned earlier that will take up 4 spaces with his car to keep from getting door dings. That kind of sh!t drives me batty. I always want to key their car when I see that but my conscience always gets the better of me. Who the fcku do those people think they are, anyway?

I say you get some really big dudes to move the bike to the other end of the lot. Or better yet, a different lot. Then watch him panic when he thinks it got ripped off. The bike won't be damaged, just moved.

 

[GearBeer]

Since we're on the subject, what do you folks think about how I park my Torino? I do sometimes park it across several spots but I park it well away (1/2 lot or so back from the first filled spot) from the store/restaraunt.

 

[Skins_Brew]

my favorite, lol.

I use to drive a honda civic hybrid so I would park in compact spots all the time and it use to burn me up so much when a huge SUV would park next to me!

 

[DeathBrewer]

 

[mordantly]

When I find this I usually try to sqeeze in (as long as I'm not over the line) so they can't get into their car. Like I did to this icehole:

umm. did you not see the trucker lane on the pass side of the suby?

my favorite, lol.

I use to drive a honda civic hybrid so I would park in compact spots all the time and it use to burn me up so much when a huge SUV would park next to me!

what the hell? hilarious! you guys should see how i park all my cars in my yard. most often, i dont give a schitt. but in public i'll put my mirror 1/2" from a wall/pole/etc.

asians without a booster chair, females, and old people should NOT be allowed to park anywhere other than in the 50x50ft space marked "DUMB ASS ZONE"

 

[northernlad]

Since we're on the subject, what do you folks think about how I park my Torino? I do sometimes park it across several spots but I park it well away (1/2 lot or so back from the first filled spot) from the store/restaraunt.

I am sure you are a nice enough guy so no offence...However, any such sightings cause me to mutter something along the lines of "*******".
If you are going to go to the trouble of being courteous enough to park so far away, can't you park in an assigned spot?
I am sure you could be towed if a store manager wanted to press the issue.

Anytime i see some dipschit taking up prime parking spots I go out of my way to park as close as I can. I drive a POS Ford Ranger so I know captain fancy will waste no time on revenge.

 

[mordantly]

car doors and shopping carts are the leading cause of damage to a nice vehicle.

 

[imaguitargod]

umm. did you not see the trucker lane on the pass side of the suby?

Ok, that didn't make a lick of sense to me. Huh? Trucker Lane? Suby?

 

[ChshreCat]

I always go for the space right next to the cart return at the store. And if I'm by myself, I'll park to the left of it and put my passenger side an inch from the return so I have like three feet of extra space on the driver's side. More buffer to keep my car from getting door dinged.

 

[imaguitargod]

I always go for the space right next to the cart return at the store. And if I'm by myself, I'll park to the left of it and put my passenger side an inch from the return so I have like three feet of extra space on the driver's side. More buffer to keep my car from getting door dinged.

One would think that was the worst place to park a car. Have you seen the way people put away (or don't put away) those carts? Interested to see what your logic on parking there is.

Maybe that's the best place to park because no one returns carts to that space.

 

[ChshreCat]

Maybe that's the best place to park because no one returns carts to that space.

Exactly! It seems anytime I don't park next to the cart return, I come out to find a cart against the side of my car. If I park next to the return then it increases the odds that people will actually put their cart away if they're that close already. Doesn't always work, but usually it does. Plus having the extra space on the other side is great.

 

[Fingers]

If the guy is taking up two spaces, park somewhere else and leave a note apologizing for hitting/scratching his car. He'll go whiggy looking for the damage.

 

[TXCrash]

Glad my coffee isn't ready yet. It'd be all over my screen.

If the guy is taking up two spaces, park somewhere else and leave a note apologizing for hitting/scratching his car. He'll go whiggy looking for the damage.

 

[DeathBrewer]

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing next time.

 

[Nova5]

If the guy is taking up two spaces, park somewhere else and leave a note apologizing for hitting/scratching his car. He'll go whiggy looking for the damage.

Dude.. THAT IS BRILLIANT! Anyhow I just got a nice deal from Vistaprint 250 cards for free.

 

[user 7154]

umm. did you not see the trucker lane on the pass side of the suby?

Ok, that didn't make a lick of sense to me. Huh? Trucker Lane? Suby?

Well, if your serious....
He's asking if the person who posted this pic even saw the amount of space (trucker lane) on the passenger side of the Subaru (Suby)

 

[Zul'jin]

Next to the cart return is a great parking spot. No one will park on one side of you because the cart return is there and it's usually a big metal coral- protection. Park close to it and you've got lots of room on your other side, as said before.

On motorcycle parking and that Subaru, I'd have parked my bike on its passenger side. Great spot for a bike and if they left first, I'd still be parked fine.

 

[imaguitargod]

Well, if your serious....
He's asking if the person who posted this pic even saw the amount of space (trucker lane) on the passenger side of the Subaru (Suby)

AH. Yes. I see now.

Yes, I saw the amount of space that was to the right of the Suby. If I had parked (that's my car to the left) on the right side it would have defeated the porpus (sp?). I wanted to make it damn near impossable for him to get in his drives side door and make him think about what he's done.

On a side note, he's still doing it.

 

[Zul'jin]

porpus (sp?).

Porpoise.

 

[northernlad]

A
On a side note, he's still doing it.

Park closer

 

[TXCrash]

Leave:
A. OP's Business card
B. Note suggesting the car was damaged and you're sorry as described earlier
C. Dog poo under door handle
D. Pick two

 

[TXCrash]

AH. Yes. I see now.

On a side note, he's still doing it.

Leave:
A. OP's Business card
B. Note suggesting the car was damaged and you're sorry as described earlier
C. Dog poo under door handle
D. Pick two
____________

 

[user 7154]

Leave:
A. OP's Business card
B. Note suggesting the car was damaged and you're sorry as described earlier
C. Dog poo under door handle
D. Pick two
____________

Ummmm, all of the above??:rockin::rockin:

 

[imaguitargod]

A little capsacin extract under the door handle works amazing