A Christmas rant

[Billy-Klubb]

How about being thankful you have a family that gets together on holidays and wants to actually give you a gift?
Not everyone has that.
I'd ask for a bottle of Calvados. I've never tried it because its about $50, but I'd like to.
Or a six pack of that imperial stout that you've wanted to try but didn't think it was worth the price?
I'd welcome 750 ml bottles of Rodenbach, about $12. You could uncork it right at the Christmas celebration and give everyone a taste.

would you like some of my home made fruit cake this year?

 

[Funkychef]

We live too far from both families (living overseas) and are always too busy over Christmas. Me and the wife have come to that if there is anything you want buy. But we get presents for the little one now he under stands Christmas.

My folks and us have an agreement that no presents at christmas as it all ends up too much. But not that we see them all that often.

Just be thankful that you can spend christmas with loved ones.


Drink more coffee and do stupid things faster

 

[unionrdr]

I think a great many of you are missing the whole point of Christmas. Age be freaking damned! Age has nothing to do with it, dammit. The whole point of imitating the gifts of the three wise men these days is to show love & respect for the person you're giving the gift to. Sure, Christmas is a bit too commercial nowadays, but using it to advantage to save money on prices that are over-inflated anyway is just good sense. The same amount of money goes farther. Nothing wrong with that! Suggestions are always good, of course. They wouldn't bother asking if they didn't care.
So remember Scrooge & his story when you get grumpy this time of year. Don't think you're too old just to be a cheap-a$$. Or because, " I'm an adult now& F'that shizz"! Then friggin' act like an adult & stop F***in' whining! It's part of keeping some good, wholesome family activities alive that make folks feel a little bit better toward each other for a short time every year. I for one applaud it! :rockin:

 

[Homercidal]

Our families run the gamut. It's kind of a silly tradition on my side that my mom and my sister's family get together with us and exchange some gifts. They seem to have fun playing gift games with inexpensive items, sometimes they are gag gifts.

For a couple of years I dreaded the games a bit. They just seemed immature and silly. I know they don't have much $$ to spend and that's fine. I would rather just hang out and do stuff together than exchange gifts. Then I realized that the gift exchange games WERE getting together and we all seemed to have a good time while doing it. Yeah it was sometimes pretty cheezy and silly, but who cares? One year they bought me red boxers with white fuzzy trim. Little do they know how much enjoyment I got out of them later! Ho Ho Ho!

The worst part about gift giving is my wife. One time way back when we were young in our relationship she conveyed to me that her dad always bought exactly what was on her mom's list. It bugged her that they would do that. So now I am faced with coming up with ideas for her. It's not easy. I will admit I've sometimes bought just what was on her list. Or sometimes I will take her out shopping, so she can get what she wants and I get to be there with her while she shops. I think that works out pretty well, but I have to pretend to be interested in clothing for a few hours and if I'm lucky we go out for lunch at a place with a good beer selection!

 

[kombat]

I'm hardly sure where to begin with you scrooges. You're doing it wrong.

I find great pleasure in making or finding a good gift for a loved one.

As do I.

My problems are that after a few decades of it, it becomes very, very hard to not repeat yourself. Also, the sheer number of people involved. I have 2 parents, my wife has 2 parents, and between us we have 5 siblings to buy for. Then add in a dozen or so close friends. Then double it (Christmas and birthdays), and throw in 4 more for Mother's Day and Father's Day for 4 parents (my own, plus in-laws). And, of course, 4 more big ones for my wife (Christmas, Birthday, Anniversary, Valentine's Day).

If I were to "make" something unique and thoughtful for all of those people for all those occasions, it'd eat up all my free time! I'd have no time left to brew. It just gets exhausting. And for what? Why are we doing this to ourselves? Because a bunch of marketers at Fortune 500 companies say we have to?

Why do we have to buy all these presents for people at prescribed times of the year? Why isn't it enough to just make an extra effort to get out to visit them on those occasions, maybe make/share a nice meal together and reminisce or something. And if I happen to be out somewhere on any random day of the year and see something my brother Joe might like, I just buy it and give it to him, rather than stressing myself out for 3 weeks in December, running up my Visa and panic-buying for 17 people? Because Madison Avenue says I have to?

 

[kombat]

The worst part about gift giving is my wife. [...] sometimes I will take her out shopping, [...] I have to pretend to be interested in clothing for a few hours

Now THAT is a gift! If that doesn't prove your love for that person, what does? And isn't that the whole point of giving a gift in the first place - to demonstrate how much you care about that person?

How overjoyed would you be if your wife came with you to the craft beer bar and showed a genuine interest in beer for a couple of hours while you sampled a couple flights and watched the game? And picked up the tab, and volunteered to be your DD! That'd be WAY better than any stupid necktie, amirite?

 

[Homercidal]

Now THAT is a gift! If that doesn't prove your love for that person, what does? And isn't that the whole point of giving a gift in the first place - to demonstrate how much you care about that person?

How overjoyed would you be if your wife came with you to the craft beer bar and showed a genuine interest in beer for a couple of hours while you sampled a couple flights and watched the game? And picked up the tab, and volunteered to be your DD! That'd be WAY better than any stupid necktie, amirite?

She's done that!

And I think both had a good time too!

The other problem I have with her is that her birthday is like a week before Christmas. Yeah, I've given her what was supposed to be a Christmas gift for her birthday before. Emergency gifting...

But THIS year I have the perfect gift for her birthday! Still waiting for Jensen Ackles to return my emails, but there is time!

 

[Newsman]

My dad passed away this year, and my mom passed away years ago. Now it's just me, my siblings and my nephews/nieces. I plan on giving mostly homebrew in a bottle this year as most everyone loves my cider.

 

[hunter_le five]

The worst part about gift giving is my wife.... sometimes I will take her out shopping, so she can get what she wants and I get to be there with her while she shops. I think that works out pretty well, but I have to pretend to be interested in clothing for a few hours and if I'm lucky we go out for lunch at a place with a good beer selection!

I tried that one year. It was a nightmare.

We hadn't been living together very long, maybe 6 months, and she didn't have a lot of good clothes. Everything she owned came from a thrift shop. So I told her I was taking her on a shopping-spree for Christmas. I wouldn't tell her what the spending limit was, just "buy what you want, and I'll tell you when we're done."

I didn't realize how indecisive she could be. She quickly fell into a "if I buy this thing at this store now, then I won't be able to buy as much at the next store later" mentality, and we spent all day at two different malls buying virtually nothing.

When we finally got home nearly empty-handed, I just gave her my credit card and my laptop and told her to let me know if I needed to sell any organs when she was done.

I don't let her choose her own gifts anymore.

 

[balrog]

wish lists on Amazon

Good idea for a couple years, then it gets kinda stale--my bro-in-law and I used to rely on each other's lists but neither of us keep them up to date enough any more.

I guess the gifts I'm most proud of are the homemade/handmade ones.

+1. My woodworking hobby is sporadic though. I limit gifts to immediate family. The (grown) kids especially love it when something is made with bits of trees from their childhood yard.

I plan on giving mostly homebrew in a bottle this year as most everyone loves my cider.

Good plan. Wish I'd thought of it back in freaking July. Starting apfelwein, as I did, the first of Nov just ain't gonna cut it for Xmas this year.

 

[Tin4]

My in-laws are still on dial-up. I helped them pick out a new computer last week, and I'll probably have to buy them a dial-up adapter/external modem, because computers don't have modems anymore.

Dial up in my family would me a mention to the much hated showers.

Shower ???? WTF ??? Who showers anymore?

Not country folk it seems.

That is funny. Every year, my mother-in-law gets the entire family pajama pants. It has become a tradition. To be honest, I really look forward to it - for two reasons. First, I have become an old man in some ways - one of them being how much pleasure I get out of getting into a pair of comfy pajama pants near the end of the evening (it is sort of stupid how happy they make me). Second, I am always dumbfounded how she is able to find pajama pants for me. I have a 39" inseam and a 35" waist - not the easiest size combo to find in pajama pants. But, she does it somehow.

One of my favorite parts of Xmas is on Xmas eve, the whole family goes over and opens up their pjs. We usually put together some appetizer dishes and have some drinks. It is always a great time. Yes, it isn't necessarily the pjs themselves that make it a good time - but I sure do look forward to new pj pants.

I wear mine a lot, so I think people assume that's what I need.

I wish ours had a funny story, but it's more senility and dementia at it's source.

I miss my Grandma. This is the first year I'm without her.

I got tired of people whining that someone else got something better for Christmas. I did the only logical thing, i give everyone the same thing: diarrhea.

I did that last year. Everyone kept asking "Did we eat something bad?" as I'm known as a semi decent cook. I told everyone my son brought home a stomach bug. That settled that.

I think a great many of you are missing the whole point of Christmas. Age be freaking damned! Age has nothing to do with it, dammit. The whole point of imitating the gifts of the three wise men these days is to show love & respect for the person you're giving the gift to. Sure, Christmas is a bit too commercial nowadays, but using it to advantage to save money on prices that are over-inflated anyway is just good sense. The same amount of money goes farther. Nothing wrong with that! Suggestions are always good, of course. They wouldn't bother asking if they didn't care.
So remember Scrooge & his story when you get grumpy this time of year. Don't think you're too old just to be a cheap-a$$. Or because, " I'm an adult now& F'that shizz"! Then friggin' act like an adult & stop F***in' whining! It's part of keeping some good, wholesome family activities alive that make folks feel a little bit better toward each other for a short time every year. I for one applaud it! :rockin:

And we're all asking for gold. What's wrong with that? I would be happy to settle for incense but I'm the only one that likes frankincense.

 

[b-boy]

I tried that one year. It was a nightmare.

We hadn't been living together very long, maybe 6 months, and she didn't have a lot of good clothes. Everything she owned came from a thrift shop. So I told her I was taking her on a shopping-spree for Christmas. I wouldn't tell her what the spending limit was, just "buy what you want, and I'll tell you when we're done."

I didn't realize how indecisive she could be. She quickly fell into a "if I buy this thing at this store now, then I won't be able to buy as much at the next store later" mentality, and we spent all day at two different malls buying virtually nothing.

When we finally got home nearly empty-handed, I just gave her my credit card and my laptop and told her to let me know if I needed to sell any organs when she was done.

I don't let her choose her own gifts anymore.

That's what a shopping spree is. A never ending zombie-like march between stores. She doesn't have to actually buy anything. It's the process that most women like. My wife would have done exactly the same thing in that situation. I would have been ready to shoot myself a few hours in.

The funny thing is that she complains about my mother and grandmother when she shops with them. She says they are too slow. I see absolutely no difference between the three of them.

 

[balrog]

That's what a shopping spree is. A never ending zombie-like march between stores. She doesn't have to actually buy anything. It's the process that most women like. My wife would have done exactly the same thing in that situation. I would have been ready to shoot myself a few hours in.

The funny thing is that she complains about my mother and grandmother when she shops with them. She says they are too slow. I see absolutely no difference between the three of them.

And yet......I can shop for what beer recipe I want to brew next, and talk about the nuances for **HOURS**.

It's not shoes, or cute sweaters in colors I don't understand (since when did color names become something totally unrelated to wavelength of light?), but it's something I like doing, even if I end up brewing only 1/100th of the recipes I research.

 

[Devin]

I wish ours had a funny story, but it's more senility and dementia at it's source.

That made me laugh.

I miss my Grandma. This is the first year I'm without her.

Sorry to hear this, man.

 

[unionrdr]

Dial up in my family would me a mention to the much hated showers.



Not country folk it seems.




I wear mine a lot, so I think people assume that's what I need.

I wish ours had a funny story, but it's more senility and dementia at it's source.

I miss my Grandma. This is the first year I'm without her.



I did that last year. Everyone kept asking "Did we eat something bad?" as I'm known as a semi decent cook. I told everyone my son brought home a stomach bug. That settled that.



And we're all asking for gold. What's wrong with that? I would be happy to settle for incense but I'm the only one that likes frankincense.

Well, my biggest point was the "i'm 39,etc, I'm to old for Christmas. Just throw joints & dollar bills" mentality. I wish I still had family that wanted to make sure I had a good Christmas with them. But I don't. Y'all won't know what you've got till it's gone.

 

[kombat]

Well, my biggest point was the "i'm 39,etc, I'm to old for Christmas. Just throw joints & dollar bills" mentality. I wish I still had family that wanted to make sure I had a good Christmas with them. But I don't. Y'all won't know what you've got till it's gone.

Union, I think maybe you misunderstood me. I would LOVE to spend time with my family, or exchange nice, sentimental, handwritten cards with thoughtful, personal messages in them. That's what I would prefer. It's this notion that we have to come up with a $100 present for every parent, sibling, and friend that I object to. I would much rather just have a nice homemade dinner with them (not even all at once, just a nice, personal, intimate evening with each of them where we can really connect and talk, you know?) than all this commercial, forced-shopping guilt-trippy crap.

 

[unionrdr]

Union, I think maybe you misunderstood me. I would LOVE to spend time with my family, or exchange nice, sentimental, handwritten cards with thoughtful, personal messages in them. That's what I would prefer. It's this notion that we have to come up with a $100 present for every parent, sibling, and friend that I object to. I would much rather just have a nice homemade dinner with them (not even all at once, just a nice, personal, intimate evening with each of them where we can really connect and talk, you know?) than all this commercial, forced-shopping guilt-trippy crap.

Ah, I see. I basically agree with you. But some little "i'm still thinking of you" gift, whether home made or purchased, is always nice. I do agree though, that a lot of folks get caught up in one-upping themselves with gift giving. It's not hard to do. So what I'm saying is, "little things mean a lot". I believe that's your sentiment as well? Long story short, you're NEVER too old for Christmas! It's an emotional holiday & feelings can be hurt.

 

[Tin4]

That made me laugh.



Sorry to hear this, man.

She had a wicked sense of humor. She had stroke and lived 2 years after it. When my family gets together we have a tendency to pick on one another and she joined right in best she could. It was mainly mumbles, but she could give you a look that told you "Stop making fun of your sister's man feet unless you want me to bring up the time you peed yourself at summer camp.".

Ummmm. That last part didn't happen.

Well, my biggest point was the "i'm 39,etc, I'm to old for Christmas. Just throw joints & dollar bills" mentality. I wish I still had family that wanted to make sure I had a good Christmas with them. But I don't. Y'all won't know what you've got till it's gone.

Who's getting joints? That sounds like a very merry Christmas right there!

Really though, I don't ask for anything. I don't want anything. Having a very small disFUNciotnal family, all I want is to gather round the 50 gallon drum fire in the backyard and crack jokes about my Dad's hairline, my weight, my sister's man feet, and my brother's inability to stay out of jail.

You couple that with a good meal and I'm complete in life. It's funny, my family comes over and they all instantly fall asleep. They have a sense of home wherever I put my stuff down. It means a lot to me.

 

[Billy-Klubb]

I can hang with my dads side of the family, but it can be a special torture with my moms side. if I had to spend the holidays with either my mom or dad, I might have a mental breakdown. I'd definitely have to watch how much beer I had or someone would walk away with their feelers all hurt. and it wouldn't be me.

 

[Hamaki]

I can hang with my dads side of the family, but it can be a special torture with my moms side. if I had to spend the holidays with either my mom or dad, I might have a mental breakdown. I'd definitely have to watch how much beer I had or someone would walk away with their feelers all hurt. and it wouldn't be me.

Things are that way in a lot of families and not just lately. We often had friends included that were kicked out of their home or things just didn't work there. Maybe you can start a new tradition by inviting over your brothers and any other friends or relatives that enjoy each other's company to celebrate. I bet your boys would love to look back on memories like that.

 

[smccarter]

Goodness...

It is a very selfish person who doesn't know what the word gift means. That's all I'm going to say about this.

 

[rellty]

Xmas is for kids, it's like a second bday for them. If you accept cash as a gift from an adult, what do you gift in return? More cash. At this point you're all just exchanging money, and will end up where you were to begin with. Xmas is out of control. My sister and I used to go back n forth at each of our bdays, I'd give her $50 at hers, she'd give me $50 at mine. This went on for awhile. It's better just to hang out on holidays watch the kids do their thing. I wouldn't refuse new brewing gear for sure. But when people ask what I want, it's always nothing. If you ask for a thing and you get that thing, just seems weird to me. Getting blindsided with some cool thing you never expected is good times. And it shouldn't just be Christmas this happens. Mandatory gift giving never ends well. Christmas is a sad day for most most people. Trying to teach my kids right, it's tough

 

[adiochiro3]

As do I.

My problems are that after a few decades of it, it becomes very, very hard to not repeat yourself. Also, the sheer number of people involved....

I did not mean to imply that everyone gets a custom handmade gift from me every occasion; as you stated, that would be overwhelming. And it is hard to keep the ideas fresh (not repeating) and relevant to each individual. I take the ideas/inspirations as they come and act accordingly.

No great handmade ideas this year, so we will try to find something useful that matches our adult childrens' interests, hobbies, and passions. Without breaking the bank or maxing our stress levels.

Along those lines, we pay cash for EVERYTHING at Christmas from the food to the tree to the gifts. If we don't have the cash, the gift gets a pass...

 

[beernbourbon]

Our two families are quite divergent in size and nature (imagine "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"..... couldn't have been more true for our families)
My side of the family (all 12 of us) decided a few years ago that enough was enough. Parents (70's) can and do buy what they want when they want. We do not care to spend a ton of money on gifts.... family is more important. So, now we do not exchange gifts, we simply get together, have some laughs, enjoy one another's company, as we all know time with my parents is limited.

On SWMBO's side, (+/- 6,000 give or take a cousin or ten) we don't do individuals. We do 'basket exchange' male/female style. If you can/want to be in on it, (no pressure, no judgments, too many youngers that are just starting out) there is a max of $25-$30....and it is broken up male/female. You draw a number, and it is an odd....almost like musical chairs thing..... your number gets pulled out of the hat, you pick which one you want, or you 'steal' someone else's gift. So on and so on...but you can only have gift stolen once, so as to not create 'hurt feelers' as BK says. Bottom line is, it has nothing to do with the gift, (we've actually discussed doing away with it altogether, but too damn much fun is had), but more about getting together and having a ton of fun. Some gifts are funny, some are really cool, but whatever. We laugh, we play games, we eat way too much, we catch grandma as she trips over a little one running around, and she just yells "save the wine, don't worry about me" ...... The little ones aren't left out..... up to about 13, they still get gifts from parents/grandparents, that sort of thing, but doing it the way we do, I think we are teaching them that it's not about the material goods, and what you can get just cuz it's Christmas, its about family, and enjoying the time you have with them.

I understand the reason behind the 'gift giving', I understand the 'reason for the season' kind of thing..... but when you can remove the commercialism at the young age, it begins a pattern of change, one that is necessary, I think that more than over rides whatever story about Christmas you choose to believe, and I think we'll get a pass for not sticking with that supposed theme.

.....as always, just one man's humble opinion

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.....

 

[Cheesy_Goodness]

On SWMBO's side, (+/- 6,000 give or take a cousin or ten) we don't do individuals. We do 'basket exchange' male/female style. If you can/want to be in on it, (no pressure, no judgments, too many youngers that are just starting out) there is a max of $25-$30....and it is broken up male/female. You draw a number, and it is an odd....almost like musical chairs thing..... your number gets pulled out of the hat, you pick which one you want, or you 'steal' someone else's gift. So on and so on...but you can only have gift stolen once, so as to not create 'hurt feelers' as BK says.

This is one of my favorite things we do around this time of year. I've heard it called dirty bingo and white elephant...neither of which make a whole lot of sense to me

 

[brettwasbtd]

That's what a shopping spree is. A never ending zombie-like march between stores. She doesn't have to actually buy anything. It's the process that most women like. My wife would have done exactly the same thing in that situation. I would have been ready to shoot myself a few hours in.

The funny thing is that she complains about my mother and grandmother when she shops with them. She says they are too slow. I see absolutely no difference between the three of them.

We all know your Xmas list includes concrete and rebar

 

[firerat]

Goodness...

It is a very selfish person who doesn't know what the word gift means. That's all I'm going to say about this.

I have no problems with gifts. I like giving gifts. I like helping people.

What I don't like is the idea that gifts are the focal point for a lot of people around the holidays. To me, it should be family. It should be celebrating another year, another winter has come. (I'm more solstice than Christmas)

I don't care about your presents, I care about your presence. (huh huh, see what I did there)

If that makes me selfish, then I guess I'm selfish. (I'm not saying you singled me out or anything)

 

[firerat]

On SWMBO's side, (+/- 6,000 give or take a cousin or ten) we don't do individuals. We do 'basket exchange' male/female style. If you can/want to be in on it, (no pressure, no judgments, too many youngers that are just starting out) there is a max of $25-$30....and it is broken up male/female. You draw a number, and it is an odd....almost like musical chairs thing..... your number gets pulled out of the hat, you pick which one you want, or you 'steal' someone else's gift. So on and so on...but you can only have gift stolen once, so as to not create 'hurt feelers' as BK says. Bottom line is, it has nothing to do with the gift, (we've actually discussed doing away with it altogether, but too damn much fun is had), but more about getting together and having a ton of fun. Some gifts are funny, some are really cool, but whatever. We laugh, we play games, we eat way too much, we catch grandma as she trips over a little one running around, and she just yells "save the wine, don't worry about me" ...... The little ones aren't left out..... up to about 13, they still get gifts from parents/grandparents, that sort of thing, but doing it the way we do, I think we are teaching them that it's not about the material goods, and what you can get just cuz it's Christmas, its about family, and enjoying the time you have with them.

My SWIMBO's family does something very similar for Chanukah.

They make a game out of it. I have, for 8 years running, screwed up the rules every time so I won't try to explain them.

 

[Melana]

I'm hardly sure where to begin with you scrooges. You're doing it wrong.

I find great pleasure in making or finding a good gift for a loved one. I guess the gifts I'm most proud of are the homemade/handmade ones. I spend a lot of time thinking about the person while planning and creating the item. Over the years I've made:

wood and antler cribbage boards

leather wallets
guitar strap
knives & sheaths
cedar chests
pens

pepper mills
baby rattles

jewelery boxes
a powder horn

I've also received many thoughtful gifts that really blessed me. I never fail to remember the giver every time I pick one up.

The best gift I've ever received was a shot glass. I am a huge history buff. My son went to Normandy on a study abroad program and had the brilliant idea of filling that commemorative shot glass with sand from Omaha Beach. I get chills every time I pick it up.

You are so talented!

I always make some form of food gift. Last year it was homemade vanilla extract, multiple jams, sauces, crackers, etc. In years past it has been biscotti, cookies, or whatever else floats my boat. it's kind of fun for me making and collecting stuff then sharing the love with my family.

 

[hunter_le five]

I always make some form of food gift. Last year it was homemade vanilla extract, multiple jams, sauces, crackers, etc. In years past it has been biscotti, cookies, or whatever else floats my boat. it's kind of fun for me making and collecting stuff then sharing the love with my family.

Hard to go wrong with food gifts. Or beer gifts. At least I know I can always put those to good use. I think from now on I'm just going to ask for food when people ask what I want.