A Christmas rant

[poptarts]

I seriously hate everything about the holidays, they were cool when I was 10 and was wanting the new gameboy game or something but as an adult with no kids its such a nightmare for me.

 

[firerat]

I'm in the "get gifts for the kids but grown ups is just silly" crowd.

My mom asked me what I want for Christmas. I told her to not have to answer that question again for the rest of my life. She told me to stop being a jerk. So I told her pay my electric bill. She said that's silly. I said you're right, the water bill is less money so pay that instead.

Holiday's are a blast around my family.

 

[b-boy]

People get a lot of satisfaction out of the giving part, so to tell them that you don't want anything takes that satisfaction away and maybe lessens their enjoyment of the season.

I agree with this. My wife buys what she wants for Christmas, gives it to me, and says 'wrap this'.

What fun is that?

 

[wardens355]

Once the kids move out, I have been advocating buying gifts throughout the year for adult family members, rather than the rush of Christmas gift giving. Its pretty easy to keep up with little projects or needs that your family members have, so you can buy gifts whenever they need it. As adults, we typically buy what we need as we need it. For example, I mentioned to my mother that I was looking for some new knives during a conversation in late summer. I ended up buying some, but then received some nice knives from her for my birthday. If she would have gifted them within a few weeks of my mentioning it, I wouldn't have two sets of knives! Dedicate your holiday time together to enjoying each other's company rather than worrying about picking a gift, whether the gift will be liked, and how your gift stacks up to others. Still trying to sell this idea...

 

[poptarts]

My ideal Christmas is hanging out at home with the wife eating a meat and cheese tray and having some beer. Anyone or anything else makes it less enjoyable, including decorating, seeing family, talking to anyone on the phone, having to go to the store, people asking what i want and what I'm giving to them....

 

[LandoLincoln]

I agree with this. My wife buys what she wants for Christmas, gives it to me, and says 'wrap this'.

What fun is that?

The fun in telling her friends and family what you got her for Christmas.

 

[Devin]

Ya bunch of Scrooges!

I love getting presents for my wife, kids, and parents at xmastime.

 

[LandoLincoln]

Ya bunch of Scrooges!

I love getting present for my wife, kids, and parents at xmastime.

Wife, kids, parents, fine. That's all fine and good.

Add in the siblings, and their spouses, and their kids, and some Aunts and Uncles and it gets out of hand fast.

 

[Devin]

Yeah, but the general tone in the thread seems to be something along the lines of "being an adult = no gifts at xmas". Humbug!

 

[passedpawn]

Ya bunch of Scrooges!

I love getting present for my wife, kids, and parents at xmastime.

^^ he gets it!

Think about making a big vanilla bourbon porter in the summer, bottle it in big bottles, make some cool custom labels, and give people a special beer with their name on it. Or your name. You're a brewer!

If they don't drink beer, make a batch of wine. Or get some vodka and vanilla beans and make vanilla extract (it's cool with the beans in there, and much more potent than the stuff you buy). In any case, make custom labels, apply with milk, easy peasy.

I'm giving wedges of homemade cheese this year (yes, it ships). I dip the wedges in red wax, add a little wedge-shaped note, and wax over that. For family that you're going to visit, make a pie and put a bow on it.

Give people something they normally wouldn't give themselves. Buy a spa package for a woman - massage, sauna, pool, nails, etc. Give away your services (help with dishes, laundry, agree to paint a room, offer Dad's car to Junior for a night, stuff like that, free for you, priceless to them.

 

[Tin4]

My wife's family asks what I want for Christmas. I tell them, the ONLY thing I want is cash/Visa gift cards to use toward upgrading my system. Shortly after that they email my wife asking for ideas.

Is my request really that terrible? I don't want "stuff." Don't look for the perfect gift. "Personal" or "special" gifts usually get shoved in the closet and forgotten. I just want to upgrade to electric, and I'm not giving you a list, because a) most of the stuff is more than you're going to want to pay, b) I'm looking for specialty items at specialty shops that you've never heard of, and c) I'm gonna shop by price/availability, which changes, especially during the holiday season.

CASH IS A PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE GIFT!!!

Is it just me, or does anybody else get hit with "I can't give you cash -- cash is so impersonal"?

I'm with you. Every year I get new pajama pants. I don't need them and you knowing that I sleep doesn't say much about our relationship.

The alternate to that is the white elephant or round robin. I don't need a new LED flashlight or leatherman. Sorry, I just don't. I would prefer we pass around cards in silence as the ladies do their thing and the guys wait for the "fun" to end so we can go home and watch Rudolph.

 

[passedpawn]

I'm with you. Every year I get new pajama pants. I don't need them and you knowing that I sleep doesn't say much about our relationship.

The alternate to that is the white elephant or round robin. I don't need a new LED flashlight or leatherman. Sorry, I just don't. I would prefer we pass around cards in silence as the ladies do their thing and the guys wait for the "fun" to end so we can go home and watch Rudolph.

Create a Amazon wish list during the year. Send everyone your list a month before (Amazon makes this really easy, with links and such). I do that. It's a little presumptuous, but I tell them to ignore it, I'm just trying to help. The more stuff you put in there, the less contrived it seems. I add stuff all year.

You can make as many wish lists as you want and name them. I do this for everyone, and put stuff on there for them. On birthdays and holidays, it's easy.

 

[Tin4]

Create a Amazon wish list during the year. Send everyone your list a month before (Amazon makes this really easy, with links and such). I do that. It's a little presumptuous, but I tell them to ignore it, I'm just trying to help. The more stuff you put in there, the less contrived it seems. I add stuff all year.

You can make as many wish lists as you want and name them. I do this for everyone, and put stuff on there for them. On birthdays and holidays, it's easy.

LOL, those people would have to get a cpu and access to the internet.

My family for the most part is quite rural. I'm lucky I don't have to see them but once a year, and thankfully their wives make them shower before the gathering. They often complain about it, but they shower.

 

[eulipion2]

Create a Amazon wish list during the year. Send everyone your list a month before (Amazon makes this really easy, with links and such). I do that. It's a little presumptuous, but I tell them to ignore it, I'm just trying to help. The more stuff you put in there, the less contrived it seems. I add stuff all year.

You can make as many wish lists as you want and name them. I do this for everyone, and put stuff on there for them. On birthdays and holidays, it's easy.

I did this last year, and they bought a large chunk of the items on it. My list is a little pricier this year...

 

[eulipion2]

LOL, those people would have to get a cpu and access to the internet.

My family for the most part is quite rural. I'm lucky I don't have to see them but once a year, and thankfully their wives make them shower before the gathering. They often complain about it, but they shower.

My in-laws are still on dial-up. I helped them pick out a new computer last week, and I'll probably have to buy them a dial-up adapter/external modem, because computers don't have modems anymore.

 

[eatmorefrogs]

Life is about people, not things. Sometimes those people want to buy you things that you don't want. It makes them feel good. Take the ugly sweater from your dear aunt and stop trying to convince her to chip in for your next big brewing rig.

IMO if you're so worried about your next big brewing rig that the idea of getting an ugly kiss-the-chef apron offends you, it's time to put less emotional investment in the brewing rig. If the relationship with the gift giver is so impersonal that it's a meaningless gesture and it misses the mark every year, it's time to put down the mash paddle and work on the relationship a little bit more.

That said, IMO there's nothing intrinsically wrong with giving cash or gift cards if both parties are down with that. If they're not cool with giving cash or gift cards, and if you don't want junk pile up, try asking for an experience (i.e "how about you take us both to a hockey game together".)

Merry Christmas.

 

[GHBWNY]

I honestly wish we were past this whole "gift giving" phase (I'm 39), but my wife insists we keep doing it. What the heck am I supposed to get my parents? They're in their 60's and have more than enough money - they buy whatever they need/want. I tend to do the same thing, I feel bad for people trying to buy me stuff. Can't we just send each other a nice little card and save our money? And avoid the mess of rude people at the malls? Ugh. Can't wait for January.

I'm in your parents' generation, and I sympathize with you. We don't have "more than enough" money, but we live contentedly and are blessed by those things that really mean the most, not only at Christmas time, but all year 'round: family. Last year in September, I made the brave/suicidal move when the entire family was together, to introduce the concept of not exchanging X-mas gifts amongst the adults. Almost before I could finish my campaign speech, the overwhelming, unanimous, relieved response was "Great idea!" Our adult kids buy now only for their own kids, but not siblings and not us. We buy something small for each other and the grandkids. Takes a LOT of pressure off the shopping expectations AND the wallet. And helps us all focus on the real meaning of the season: Jesus.

 

[Frostbrewer]

I ask people to buy me a beer kit. Choose one they think they might like.

I get to brew
they get to drink some of the beer

 

[soccerdad]

Shower ???? WTF ??? Who showers anymore?

 

[MaxStout]

We usually end up giving gifts cards to family members and they give the same to us. It becomes a zero-sum game.

I've thought about posting the Amazon wish list, but that has become a place where I put everyday things that I might later need to buy. My luck I'd end up getting a bunch of beakers, SD cards and drill bits, as those kinds of things are the cheapest items on the list.

My wife and I just give each other a trip together, and we just bought tickets to San Diego for later this winter.

 

[passedpawn]

It becomes a zero-sum game.

You win when you give, and you win when you receive. That's not zero sum.

BTW, you can multiple wish lists on Amazon. Name one of them Christmas for Me.

 

[Hamaki]

The kids in my family pretty much insist on cash or gift cards anymore so we don't blow it. We'll get actual gifts for babies & toddlers but once they become self aware that's it.

If we give anything at all to each other, adults in my family do something home-made or nearly so. Cookies, fudge, etc. are much appreciated! I still use the scarf my mom made 25 years ago. Last year one sister gave calendars with old B&W photos of parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles for each month. Tell ya what, my grandparents were a pretty good lookin' couple around 1905!

 

[Devin]

I'm giving wedges of homemade cheese this year (yes, it ships). I dip the wedges in red wax, add a little wedge-shaped note, and wax over that. For family that you're going to visit, make a pie and put a bow on it.

Man, I have to get on your friend list - homemade cheese sounds awesome! :rockin:

 

[Devin]

I'm with you. Every year I get new pajama pants.

That is funny. Every year, my mother-in-law gets the entire family pajama pants. It has become a tradition. To be honest, I really look forward to it - for two reasons. First, I have become an old man in some ways - one of them being how much pleasure I get out of getting into a pair of comfy pajama pants near the end of the evening (it is sort of stupid how happy they make me). Second, I am always dumbfounded how she is able to find pajama pants for me. I have a 39" inseam and a 35" waist - not the easiest size combo to find in pajama pants. But, she does it somehow.

One of my favorite parts of Xmas is on Xmas eve, the whole family goes over and opens up their pjs. We usually put together some appetizer dishes and have some drinks. It is always a great time. Yes, it isn't necessarily the pjs themselves that make it a good time - but I sure do look forward to new pj pants.

 

[passedpawn]

Man, I have to get on your friend list - homemade cheese sounds awesome! :rockin:

OK, you're on the list! Here you go! Merry Christmas.

 

[Devin]

Man, I gotta learn how to do that. Good stuff!

As an aside, a couple that my wife and I know went camping with us this summer. I brought a growler of a milk stout that I made for everyone to sample. Everybody at the camp really seemed to like it. About 2 months ago, the wife in that couple asked me if I would be willing to brew up the husband a batch of the milk stout for Xmas. She paid for the ingredients and I brewed it up. She was looking for a "different" present for him and she thought this fit the bill. I had a great time brewing it, and am really looking forward to showing up at his place for Xmas with 5 gallons of beer.

 

[adiochiro3]

I'm hardly sure where to begin with you scrooges. You're doing it wrong.

I find great pleasure in making or finding a good gift for a loved one. I guess the gifts I'm most proud of are the homemade/handmade ones. I spend a lot of time thinking about the person while planning and creating the item. Over the years I've made:

wood and antler cribbage boards

leather wallets
guitar strap
knives & sheaths
cedar chests
pens

pepper mills
baby rattles

jewelery boxes
a powder horn

I've also received many thoughtful gifts that really blessed me. I never fail to remember the giver every time I pick one up.

The best gift I've ever received was a shot glass. I am a huge history buff. My son went to Normandy on a study abroad program and had the brilliant idea of filling that commemorative shot glass with sand from Omaha Beach. I get chills every time I pick it up.

 

[Hemidoc]

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[Billy-Klubb]

I got tired of people whining that someone else got something better for Christmas. I did the only logical thing, i give everyone the same thing: diarrhea.

 

[madscientist451]

How about being thankful you have a family that gets together on holidays and wants to actually give you a gift?
Not everyone has that.
I'd ask for a bottle of Calvados. I've never tried it because its about $50, but I'd like to.
Or a six pack of that imperial stout that you've wanted to try but didn't think it was worth the price?
I'd welcome 750 ml bottles of Rodenbach, about $12. You could uncork it right at the Christmas celebration and give everyone a taste.