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Not really. The tubing goes on and off the barbs, but it's not slick and quick. If you are going to be swapping hoses around, you would probably want 1/2" barbs or some type of quick connector.

I just wait a month.

This is not rocket science. I use cheap ass peanut butter. I've used wet grain. I've used dry grain. I've packet it hard into the measuring cup. I've loosely scooped it. They always come out fineand the dogs don't seem to care how I made them. :)

Opening the lid immediately loses heat. Just leave it closed next time.

Is your main concern internet access or just having to have a computer available? The math is (I think) fairly complicated, but there are spreadsheets out there that will do it, so you could always just download the spreadsheet to your computer or smartphone and do it that way. If you really...

Refractometers work based on the fact that light will bend as it passes through a liquid with sugar in it. Alcohol throws off the refraction of the light, so once the beer starts to ferment and there is alcohol present, the angle of refraction is no longer a direct measurement of the sugar...

FYI: 99 times out of 100, someone with a thread about their beer being stuck at or near 1.030 will have used a refractometer and not done the correction. :D

Yes, you have to do a conversion for FG with a refractometer. You said you had an OG of 1.053, so I assume you had a refract reading of 13. You said you think the FG is 1.030, so I assume you had an un-corrected refract reading of 7.5. If you go here: Onebeer.net :: Homebrew ...

all hydrometers are made of thin glass. they are fairly fragile pieces of equipment, and it doesn't matter who you buy them from.

yup.

I want to help here, but I seeso many different descriptions of 'the flavor' that I cannot even begin to offer advice; acidic, bitter, cabbage, metallic. Those are all very different things, so....

I disagree here. The water profile for burton water is what they get out of the tap in Burton. So, the levels of minerals and whatnot (IMO) should be added to the full volume of water used to make the beer. When you boil it, the levels will concentrate.... but they will also concentrate...

To bring the malt forward, you need Chloride. You can get Calcium Chloride at your LHBS to up the chlorides. edit: you can also add good old NaCl salt to up chlorides, but you have to watch the sodium addition. and you have to use canning/kosher salt (salt without iodine added).

Papain is just for clarity, so all you are really adding to the water chemistry is gypsum, which contributes calcium and sulfates. It won't make your water look like "burton water", but it will jack up the sulfates in your water to accentuate hops. You can just add gypsum and get the same...

Yeah. That bit is about the ratio of chlorides to sulfates mainly. More sulfates than chlorides and you accentuate hops. More chlorides and sulfates and you accentuate malt. Burton's water is REALLY hard and REALLY high in sulfates.

So that it's not rusty when you receive it. :D

the harder the boil, the more steam you generate. so, turning the gas down saves you gas and boils off less water.

I am by no means an expert on this stuff, and have only been messing with water chemistry for 6 months or so, but your numbers look out of whack to me. Specifically, the baking soda. The profile I have for Burton shows 30ppm Sodium. If you put as much baking soda in as you have listed, the...

how much water is this going into?

Yeah.... you might have put more extract in than you thought.... but you would have to throw a LOT more extract in to double your gravity.