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I'd be OK with the fireplace itself being off center if there was something to the side like fireplace tools. That mantle, though... No excuse

So then you added 2x what you normally do, which is already far too much.

Isn't it only supposed to be ~ 1/4 teaspoon metabisulfite per 5 or 6 gallons?

What's your volume and starting gravity?

And you're saying that was too much water? Was that your "good" starter or the "too diluted" one? Your starter in the picture is showing about a liter, this is far less volume than that. What do you do with the starter after pressure cooking?

Can you explain what you did with your starter? You want to make a starter with wort not water.

Yes. This is an all grain recipe, so steeping in a mesh bag needs to be done differently than for an extract recipe. You are doing a BIAB here, so the bag should completely line your pot, no constriction of the grain. You should also get a handle on your volumes. Take your final volume...

If the water testing was correct there is low Ca in the brewing water.

Distilled water is basically all 0s for mineral content, so plug that into your brewing software. I'd expect the pH to come out a lot higher than 5 in a light base malt mash with distilled water if the water was the issue. If you've used this well-known grain brand from several different lots...

Nice job. The mystery deepens. Even if you mashed with distilled water it should not be that low. I'm not sure what could be in your tap water that would cause it to be that low. Massive amounts of calcium? You're getting it tested again, but maybe you could do a test mash with distilled...

Can you conduct a small mash in a thermos or something? Maybe 0.5kg of one crushed base grain and an appropriate amount of water. No salts or adjustments to the water. Then calibrate and check your meter with the calibration solutions, then test the mash pH over an hour or so.

Hmmmm... What brand and model meter do you have? When you measure the calibration solutions after calibration is done, do they read as they should? What are the specific calibration solutions you are using? Name and brand? If everything is as you say it is, this does not seem possible, so...

Is it possible that one of your grains is misidentified? Could one of them be acidulated and mislabeled?

The link you posted shows the canned wort as an option. Probably not necessary for dry yeast for this kit. You also got the 4 pack rather than the single, so you'll have plenty for future batches if you use liquid yeast or make some really high gravity beers.

The pH of your tap water is not a good measurement to check your pH meter. Your water has little buffering capacity and can change pH fairly easily. How does measuring your calibration solutions work? Do the 4 and 7 solutions measure out as expected? What pH meter do you use? Maybe something is...

I don't think you need RO water - your source looks neutral enough to work with easily. Something doesn't seem right here... I wouldn't think that your water plus the mineral additions (without the slaked lime) would need the pH raised. A pH in the mash in the 4s with that grain bill and...

Is there any way you can just move your drained mash to a pot or bucket for the sparge? Drop it in, give it a stir, then remove. You can then just dump your sparge runnings into your AIO. Seems like it would be less fiddly then dumping sparge water over your mash a cup at a time. The sparge...

Don't you also have to get the rootlets off or they will give a bad flavor? That's what @bracconiere used a clothes dryer for. Or is it only if the rootlets are dried that they give an off flavor?

I hold mine on with a few small bungee cords strung together

You can put all the individual scores into an online ANOVA calculator for stats. It will compare all the groups against each other. Run it once for the clarity scores and once for the taste scores.