How to REALLY brew

We've been doing it all wrong! I saw this on BrewBoard and had to share:

I dare you to watch the whole thing!

I dare you to watch the whole thing!

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I couldn't bear it. I had to quit after 5 minutes. This guy is an embarassment to all homebrewers.

Okay, first off, even if this bastard was making beer the right way, I couldn't watch more than a few minutes of it. Holy crap, dude, SHUT THE HELL UP! What is wrong with this guy? Is he retarded?

Secondly, this guy is a prime candidate for a good old fashioned cock-punch.

Third, this guy know how to brew like I know quantum physics. Essentially what he's making is prison hooch, but not as good. Holy sh*t, he STILL won't shut up. If I was there, I'd definitely give him the ol' cock-punch. What a fool.

Makingitgood's older brother?

the_bird said:

Makingitgood's older brother?

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lol - you beat me to it!

He's not even wearing pants! And he has a Bud Light box in the background.

I think that IS makingitgood. That dude's voice has barely cracked.

I love that he actually has a hydrometer - lol

I tried to watch- only made it 45 seconds, though.

except he calls it a "hygrometer", and actually spells it out.

I watched the whole thing (I took a vacation day today). I kept waiting for something to blow up in his face, or for him to drink his hooch and immediately begin vomiting... very disappointing.

LMAO at this guy saying anything to anyone about brewing. mieses2pieces (1 month ago)
You don't have a clue on how to make beer. Did you drink the stuff you made in this video? Was it carbonated? I dought it. I bet it tasted like ****.

This is the same guy that pours sugar in his beer to make it strong so he can get a quick buzz, and pitched his yeast at 100.

Ryanh1801 said:

This is the same guy that pours sugar in his beer to make it strong so he can get a quick buzz, and pitched his yeast at 100.

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And then comes here to say "Is it ruined?"

Cheesefood said:

And then comes here to say "Is it ruined?"

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... then calls us a bunch of "Elitist A** C****!" when we tell him it's probably going to taste like crap.

Are those safety glasses he's wearing?

A few gems:

"I don't know, I think they used to use grain cuz...uh...they had to much grain...or something..."

"You can make it out of sugar...or...gatorade...or sugar....I think...yeah...I'm pretty sure..."

"Did I mention sugar beet sugar...?"

"Boiling in the airlock"..."make sure that it's like...uh...all mixed up...cuz the uh...yeah..."

"If you don't shake it up first before you pour it into the wort W-O-R-T...then that's how you make vinegar...yeah..."

"If you use sweet and low...then you'll get...uh...real strong vinegar...strong enough to unclog drains...yeah..."

***QUE BACK GROUND MUSIC***
10 seconds
***KILL BACKGROUND MUSIC***

Reads hygrometer (not a mis spell, that's how he pronounced it)
"...That is 7%... holy **** I'm good....that is tasty...very tasty..."

"...those finish fermetning in like...uh 4 1/2 days...they finished up quicker cuz I shook it up a lot and that sped up the fermentation...."

"...wow, that doesn't even taste like alcohol. It's real...um..........................uh....VERY mild...."

"I wouldn't have know there was alcohol if I hadn't read it with my HYGROMETER..."

the_bird said:

... then calls us a bunch of "Elitist A** C****!" when we tell him it's probably going to taste like crap.

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werd

heh

ok - just finished watching the rest of it - lol!

Honestly, I wish there was more. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

Wow. I'm speachless.

How fun would it be to Google Bomb it? Point a bunch of links on "How to brew" or "beer making" to that video.

OMFG!

That made my head hurt.

Somebody... PLEASE!... punch that guy in the cock...

rdwj said:

ok - just finished watching the rest of it - lol!

Honestly, I wish there was more. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

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Damn, you've got a better temperament than I. 4 or 5 minutes in, I wanted to cave in that guy's pelvis with my fist. Some of it was funny, in the kind of way that watching retarded people try to play scrabble is funny. But most of it was just grating, annoying babble.

Chrus said:

OMFG!

That made my head hurt.

Somebody... PLEASE!... punch that guy in the cock...

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see...sometimes, a cock punch is the only possible line of response.

Ryanh1801 said:

LMAO at this guy saying anything to anyone about brewing. mieses2pieces (1 month ago)
You don't have a clue on how to make beer. Did you drink the stuff you made in this video? Was it carbonated? I dought it. I bet it tasted like ****.

This is the same guy that pours sugar in his beer to make it strong so he can get a quick buzz, and pitched his yeast at 100.

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Yeah, this guy's video is almost as bad! Powedered sugar?! Ever read the ingredients in corn startch? It ain't just sugar, that ****'s got corn starch in it!
6 gallons of beer with 1 can of Mutton's and a crap load of corn sugar.. man we need to start putting GOOD brewing videos up on there, people are going to think all home brewers are hoochers!

Brewing Clamper said:

Yeah, this guy's video is almost as bad! Powedered sugar?! Ever read the ingredients in corn startch? It ain't just sugar, that ****'s got corn starch in it!
6 gallons of beer with 1 can of Mutton's and a crap load of corn sugar.. man we need to start putting GOOD brewing videos up on there, people are going to think all home brewers are hoochers!

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I though about doing a video of AG process, but figured I would do a few more batches so it would not be a rated R movie from all the cussing. I do think that most people think that home brewers do it because its a cheap way to get drunk.


IF they only knew.

rdwj said:

I love that he actually has a hydrometer - lol

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Yeah I busted out laughing when I saw that too. Thank god my phone was on mute. Doubt my boss would have liked my explanation to why I started laughing on a conference call. :rockin:

HarvInSTL said:

Doubt my boss would have liked my explanation to why I started laughing on a conference call. :rockin:

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God I don't miss those at all!

In min. 5:50 (yes, I made it that far), what is with the gyrating while stirring the wort (if you can even call it that)?

Atleast get to 10 minutes... he takes a hygrometer sample of the unfermented stuff and think it has 7% LMAO!!!

Oh someone please find this guy and kick his ass...

DeadYetiBrew said:

Atleast get to 10 minutes... he takes a hygrometer sample of the unfermented stuff and think it has 7% LMAO!!!

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And then says, "oh man - I'm good!" I think I'm going to have to watch it again!!

Jacka** is using BREAD yeast, he spends over a minute explaining how to try and get rid of the bready taste and ends up saying that it will never truly go away.

No wonder we get so many people on here asking about things like dumping in sugar and why their beer tastes so bad. Unbelievable.

EDIT:

He also has videos of some home electronics, anyone else afraid?

LET THE SPAMMING OF HIS VIDEO BEGIN!!!


man oh man, there's no words for it.... i take pity on him, was it just me or did he seem slightly retarded?

What kills me is that he's proud of it. Proud enough to post it on YouTube and then moderate the discussion.

No what's really funny is that all of his videos are retarded... Go to his profile and watch the thing about 13 thank yous or whatever... Most of it is him going, uhhh uhhh hmmm and dead silence...

OMFG. I am speechless.

(And now dumber for sitting through it.)

guys I loved this video. It is absolutely hilarious. You need to watch the whole thing. I have a feeling it is a spoof which makes this dude a genius. He has all kinds of homebrew equipment in the back ground.

I loved it. I'll probably watch it a few more times. Great stuff!!!

Todd said:

guys I loved this video. It is absolutely hilarious. You need to watch the whole thing. I have a feeling it is a spoof which makes this dude a genius. He has all kinds of homebrew equipment in the back ground.

I loved it. I'll probably watch it a few more times. Great stuff!!!

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I thought it was a joke at first too, but if you watch his other videos, and read comments you'll see that he really is that retarded... they only thing that makes me think he is joking is the fact that he made a comment about having White labs and Wyeast cultures...

I think he's read JUST enough on how to brew to make himself dangerous...

the_bird said:

I think he's read JUST enough on how to brew to make himself dangerous...

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I still enjoyed it.

DeadYetiBrew said:

LET THE SPAMMING OF HIS VIDEO BEGIN!!!


man oh man, there's no words for it.... i take pity on him, was it just me or did he seem slightly retarded?

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I don't think thats retardation... I think its from drinking his hooch

John Beere said:

I don't think thats retardation... I think its from drinking his hooch

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Or from drinking his supposed vinegar created from bread yeast and Sweet N' Low.

Look at his website resume:
http://www.dreamymover.com/dm/autobio.php