I agree with most on this post. I started with 1 gallon extract recipe kits. Everything went well so I started doing complicated stuff like Belgian quads, lagers, etc, which was a mistake. Some turned out good, some turned out great, about half were god-awful dumpers, and I never knew why. I found that I was making 4 mistakes.
1. I was brewing what I liked to drink best, not what I had the skill and equipment to pull off. Lagers need perfect temperature control. Dry hopped ipa’s are a learning curve. Quads require some experience getting predictable attenuation and figuring out how to bottle condition high abv brews. If a beer costs $25 a pop at Whole Foods, it is probably hard to make. Chances are, you need to do some research before trying to brew a clone recipe in your apartment.
2. I changed too much too fast, with too little research. Once I went back to simple ipa and stout recipe kits everything was great. I then started making slow steps from this point (try a different yeast, OR oak chips, OR a higher abv NOT all at the same time). Small changes allow you focus on learning one thing at a time, and learning it well.
3. I was too cheap/lazy. If something gets dirty or infected, spend the time to clean it. If something seems off across multiple batches, assume you have an infection and clean/toss accordingly. If ingredients are old, toss them. If you don’t have time to make a starter, buy 2 packs of yeast. Others may disagree on this, but saving a bit of $ or prep time just isn’t worth drinking infected, under-pitched, or otherwise sub-par beer that makes you question your skills as a brewer.
4. I was too impatient. Anything over 7 percent abv needs to age awhile. I find it helpful to do a 1-gallon trial run of big/complex beers. 1-gallon carboys can be stuck in a corner for a few months while you brew another session beer in your main equipment. If the 1-gallon batch turned out great, it may be worth tying up your 5-gallon carboy for a couple of months..
Learn to like simple beers. If you want to imitate high-end beers, move that way slowly over a lot of batches and research like a PhD student along the way.. Oh and the-read “how to brew” by Palmer about 2x per year.