Twilight II (moon something)

Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum

Help Support Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
cheezydemon3

cheezydemon3

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 9, 2009
Messages
12,915
Reaction score
1,677
Location
louisville
SPOILER: This movie is mind numbingly bad.

So...SWMBO brings home a movie, "something scary" was all I asked, man, was it ever.

"The second one is supposed to be better" she says, and how can it not be? Right?

I mean, it has werewolves that will hopefully kill some of the deuchey, prissy quasi-veratu, right?

The Underworld movies are a tad clumsy, and mostly visual thrill based, but they still manage to make modern day werewolves and vampires pretty awesome.

I was not envisioning an action movie, I just hoped that the dialogue and plot would be good.......

HOLY GOD. STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!!!!!! BAD SWMBO!!!!BAD!!!!!

Vampires move away....(that's right moving vans and all) leaving whatsername devestated and doing her Rain Man impression convincingly...(twitching, involuntary eye closings, wrinkled up face with eyes closed, etc.)

In her distress she latches onto a childhood friend, lamenting the lack of freakish monsters in her life......BUT WHAT'S THIS???!?!??!!LAND HO!!!!!!!!!!

This guy (though much less of a deuche.....despite his long flowing hair) is a WEREWOLF!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!! WHAT LUCK!!!!!

OK, even if you get past that, there is nothing left.

The wolves chase a mean vampire off of the continent....literallly, she just swims around for a while til whatsername goes for a swim.

Deuche-bag (whatsisname) is so distraught, that he is gonna KILL himself.

So his sister and what'sername fly to Italy to save him. Where they meet the olde world vampires who are less cool and far less convincing than the vamps in Interview with the vampire, but almost as good as the ones in Buffy the vampire slayer.

I would rather watch Howard's End than the next Twilight movie.
 
SWMBO was mad at me. In the theater when Wolf Boy took his shirt off I stood up and did a "YEAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!".

I don't understand why this stuff is being marketed to young teens. Half of the movie is "If you harm yourself, your vampire BF will come back and save you". Idiots.
 
Why it is marketed to teens?

What is the answer to 99 out of 100 questions my friend?

That's right.....these sick bastards want to get into underage pants.;)

MONEY. and what is the most defenseless demographic?

Well, to my surprise, it is evidently women age 9 to 53......

That is a huge chunk of america.

YOU STOOD UP?????

That is awesome.

I would have done the same just to stay awake.

I deserve man of the year just for NOT going downstairs and playing resident evil 4 on the wii.

Mid way through the.........film, I bribed myself with another beer (that I wasn't going to have) to sit there and hope something redeeming would happen.

I then thought that the beer in question would taste so much better in the basement dispensing headshots...(does that sound right?lol).

That garnered me man of the year for next year.....CAUSE I SAT THER OUT OF MORBID CURIOSITY!!!!!!! wondering if they wouldn't do SOMETHING I would remember the next day.

(all I remember of the first one was the undead baseball game...Only these ******** coulf find a way to make that suck too.)

*are we ID'ing ourselves as married men who must sit through things like this? I also have kids, I can give a good review of the computer animation films too!lol.

UP, Madagascar, shreks 1,2, and maybe 3, and monsters vs aliens are all more than watchable*
 
cheezydemon3 said:
I would rather watch Howard's End than the next Twilight movie.
Click to expand...

What? I LOVE Howard's end. I could watch it all day...

Oh.

You were talking about the movie, not my husband's sweet behind, right? Sorry.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program, already in progress...

Back to the original topic, I'd like to set the record straight: I am a female within the age range mentioned above in a previous post, and I LOATHE the whole Twinkle/Twilight/whatever crap. I simply don't see the appeal.
 
My apologies m'lady.

No offense intended!

You are a credit to your gender. Indeed, it is not all women in that range, just 60% or so of them.

And, indeed, If given the least reason to, I would be.....well....maybe not a fan, but at least not a freaking hater.

These movies SUCK. Sorry.
 
watched that trash with SWIMBO and a friend of hers. Agh. I kept thinking it would get better at any minute. Never did.
 
Exactly. When I keep wondering how I can explain the fact that I sat through the whole freaking thing, it still doesn't completely explain it to ME, but I just kept thinking that at some point, they would hit bottom, and HAVE to come up with something worth watching.

At some point it becomes an endurance test, like a coal walker that is halfway through the glowing coals,....it sure would feel good to hop off, but you've come this far....might as well keep going;)
 
I thought the demographic was female early teen for these films/shows. I have a female teen in the house and she hasn't shown any interest in those shows, thankfully. She's a 'Supernatural' freak but that show is no worse than any other.

You know, now that I think of it, she absolutely LOVES 'Supernatural' and they kill monsters. Perhaps that's the reason I haven't been exposed to sensitive vampires and the like. I feel like I've dodged a bullet and got hit by a wet fish.
 
I watched it with my wife. The acting is bad. I figured it'd be much better than the first, but yeah, it was bad.

That being said. You can't bash a teen Love story for being just that just cause you have apparently been living under a rock these past couple years and thought you were getting a Scary Movie. :mug:
 
I want to know how no one in the proces of making those two films could not see how horrible she is. What is with the scrunchy face and terrible attempts at angst?
 
Never seen either of these movies, but my SWMBO and 3 daughter's have. The thing that surprises me most about this thread is how many of you guys SAW THE FIRST ONE AND STILL WATCHED THE 2nd ONE!!!!!!!!!!! :D
 
I grew up in Forks, WA and those books and movies are absolutely ruining the town (not that it was great to start with). I have friends who live on the street where one of the characters were supposed to live and they get nothing but twilight tourists up and down the road at all hours of the day and night. I went back for my reunion and the stores I used to go to are now twilight gift shops.

And I can say in all my years in Forks, I never saw a single vampire or werewolf. Lots of mutants and trolls, but not vampires or werewolves.
 
Jason_Merritt said:
The thing that surprises me most about this thread is how many of you guys SAW THE FIRST ONE AND STILL WATCHED THE 2nd ONE!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Click to expand...

LMAO! I never saw the first one. I saw bits of it as I was walking past the TV, and those little glimpses showed me it was crap. For the second one, my wife tricked me. She put it on during a time when she knew full bloody well I was feeling too lazy to get off my ass. :(
 
Heee hee.

Funny comments.

I am not exactly "whipped", but when SWMBO brought this home, it was an agreed upon "movie night", sans kids.

Going down to the basement might have been asking for a divorce.

She isn't an ardent fan, and her next pick to watch is THE SHINING, maybe the best movie EVER.

I am not convinced either, HOW DID I WATCH THE WHOKE THING????

See my comments on staring at traffic accidents, and being halfway through a firewalk.
 
It's Pride & Prejudice mixed with Romeo & Juliette with vamps and werewolfs thrown in to make it more appealing.

The Shining, sounds like it wout be a great pallet cleanser
 
If you view it like: the first one was bad, so the second one was at least mediocre.

It still won't change the fact that they were both terrible movies.
 
The first twilight rifftracks looks classic.

Anyone ever see mad movies? It was like rifftracks only they voice over the whole film.

Pretty damn funny.
 
Jason_Merritt said:
Never seen either of these movies, but my SWMBO and 3 daughter's have. The thing that surprises me most about this thread is how many of you guys SAW THE FIRST ONE AND STILL WATCHED THE 2nd ONE!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Click to expand...

When its family movie timeand its the girls' turn to choose, we watch whatever mindnumbing garbage successfully marketed to them.
 
Jason_Merritt said:
Never seen either of these movies, but my SWMBO and 3 daughter's have. The thing that surprises me most about this thread is how many of you guys SAW THE FIRST ONE AND STILL WATCHED THE 2nd ONE!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Click to expand...

I usually demand Ruby Tuesdays before so I'm full of hamburgers and Turbodog/Dogfish/Sierra.
 
So I got stuck watching this too (she watches my movies, I should at least try to watch hers) but instead of just sitting quietly I made fun of it for a while and then started on the whiskey. All in all the movie was probably much more entertaining than it was if I was sober and then I had the pleasure of falling asleep halfway through.:ban:
 
Jdecarol said:
I usually demand Ruby Tuesdays before so I'm full of hamburgers and Turbodog/Dogfish/Sierra.
Click to expand...

....all due respect,.......are you on the right thread?;)

Neonsilver said:
So I got stuck watching this too (she watches my movies, I should at least try to watch hers) but instead of just sitting quietly I made fun of it for a while and then started on the whiskey. All in all the movie was probably much more entertaining than it was if I was sober and then I had the pleasure of falling asleep halfway through.:ban:
Click to expand...

Alcohol helped, and I made fun until she looked annoyed.
 
Watched it with SWMBO..Thank god I had plenty of beer and fell asleep half way through. I actually feel bad for tweens that saw it because they could have at least paid a little money to make the effects look better. I think the original clash of the titans looked better.
 
Watched it and because of SWMBO we own the Blu-ray...

I am waiting for Twatlight to come out myself.

*No I do not want the original cast or the story line, just the name.
 
I can admit that I loved the books. It takes a lot of guts but I can say that I fully enjoyed the entire series.

The movies blow monkey cock, but the books were great mindless reading. I think I read the entire series in like three weeks. Good stuff.
 
Boerderij_Kabouter said:
I can admit that I loved the books. It takes a lot of guts but I can say that I fully enjoyed the entire series.

The movies blow monkey cock, but the books were great mindless reading. I think I read the entire series in like three weeks. Good stuff.
Click to expand...

No! I admire the guts, and for all I know, the books are good.

There are a couple of Steven King books that were awesome, but the movies are definitely worse than twilight.

Monkey cocks indeed, lol.
 
ChshreCat said:
I grew up in Forks, WA and those books and movies are absolutely ruining the town (not that it was great to start with). I have friends who live on the street where one of the characters were supposed to live and they get nothing but twilight tourists up and down the road at all hours of the day and night.
Click to expand...

My wife might be among the tourists this week. She's in Seattle. Although in her defense, she's more interested in getting closer to the ocean.
 
SWMBO devoured the entire series of books and absolutely loved them. She said they were great books, and I have no doubt that they are... she said I would prolly even like them. I don't think so, vampire love stories are really not my thing.

She made me watch both of the movies with her and I hated nearly every second. The only thing that made me perk up was the Volvo C30 in the first one and the flash of masculine driving that that poof Edweird displayed. And yes, the second one was way worse.

Last night I had the displeasure of having to sit through Precious. SWMBO ordered it On-Demand and that pretty much put an end to any thought of a little hanky-panky later. I would have been even more upset if we had taken a date night and paid big money to see that.
 
mr_goodwrench said:
she said I would prolly even like them. I don't think so, vampire love stories are really not my thing.
Click to expand...

"You would like this movie" is phrase that is nearly always accompanied by "It's not a chick flick"..........Al this while the names are coming up on the screen, Hugh grant, Jennifer Lopez, etc.
 

Similar threads

cheezydemon3
Twilight.....dear GOD....
2
Replies
60
Views
4K
cheezydemon3
cheezydemon3
Yakima 300

Latest posts

Back
Top