First cat whizz, now this...

[CreamyGoodness]

Well then. That was special.

As many of you know, I used to have a downstairs neighbor who had an illegal cat that sprayed all over and made the house smell like a fertilizer factory. When she got done bringing in illegal pets and having loud sex, she left to "drive cross country" leaving an empty hedgehog cage behind. Poor hedgehog.

We applauded when the new neighbor, a rather young gay man moved in. Instead of cat whizz, the house started to smell like fresh paint and freshly brewed coffee. Much better.

And then in the morning a few days ago the wife and I wake up to go to work. She leaves before and while I am brushing my teeth I hear. "Honey, can you come down here." Never good.

So I do, and his door is wide open. The carpet in the lobby area is thrown to one side in a big ball, and there are couch cushions everywhere. Out of curiosity, I peer into his apartment... there isnt a couch in there that corresponds to the cushions. Not sure where they came from, and more importantly, why. But, being middle class, we still have to go to work. We deadbolt our door and head out, hoping he hasnt died or gotten robbed.

Waiting for us when we get home? A ziplock bag full of chocolate chip cookies and a note. "Please accept these cookies as an apology for my horrendous, irresponsible behavior last night."


Now it all makes sense. Oh wait, no, still makes no sense.

Great cookies though. I guess we will forgive him...?... just wish I knew what we were forgiving him for.

 

[Oldskooler]

Sounds like he had ONE hell of a party

 

[Paramecium]

I'm pretty sure you don't want to know what you are forgiving him for lol. Carpet pulled aside and a bunch of cushions on the ground sounds like a party you may not want to be in the middle of lol.

 

[aiptasia]

At least he was considerate enough to make you cookies. With all the cat spray smell, ripping out the carpet was probably a good idea. Maybe he was just waiting until after the bukakke party for a major remodel.

 

[Homercidal]

You should make him apologize for each and every offense. That way you can find out what happened. It SOUNDS like he was just taking out that nasty carpet.

Then again, it could be something you don't WANT to know about!

(Like a body waxing party...)

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Unroll the carpet & check for bloodstains.
You should mount a few cameras & mics around the outside (and inside) of your place; and start carrying one around with you, mabye a hidden cam/mic, just to record the weird, random $hit you encounter from day to day. You'd have to edit it down, but I think it would make for some entertaining stuff. You could at least post it on youtube. You could call it The Cream Of Reality TV.
Regards, GF.

 

[Nova5]

The cookies are poisoned.. Don't EAT! He wants your apartment!

 

[Homercidal]

You did say he was gay, right?

Probably the best cookies you'll ever have.

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Those liver sausage parties have gone viral.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

Hey, my liver sausage thread was totally serious. No one is giving my liver sausage woes the gravity they deserve.


hmm... what would be the original gravity on a liver sausage...

 

[maxamuus]

Maybe you should invite him up to make liver sausage?

 

[Kittyfeet]

Or nail a liver sausage to his door with a note: Please hide this from my wife.

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Ask him if you can keep your pork bones in his apt.
Regards, GF.

 

[landshark]

Sounds like you missed a good party. Probably needed new carpet anyways and during the party one of his friends thought it was a good idea to replace it.

Cushions though I can't explain.

 

[CreamyGoodness]

The cushions, btw, we saw yesterday morning at the curb. No couch attached to them. I just dont have the answers here.

 

[maxamuus]

He was kind enough to give you cookies to forget the whole incident. In kind i think you should take him a transmission and ask what the hell went down. If nothing else tell him the freaks on the interwebs are dying to know.

 

[Homercidal]

Sorry to spoil the mystery, but the cushions were likely left over from the previous tenant, who had replaced the original cat pee stained cushions with random ones she found (stole) wherever she could (an assumption).

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

I wouldn't exactly blame the cat based on the previous tenant.

 

[cfonnes]

You obviously should spend the next few years locked away in your apartment peeking out a crack in the blind to see what your crazy neighbor is doing.

 

[Goofynewfie]

Invite him for coffee or homebrew and next time you will get an invite to the party . You can even tell him about how your wife didn't appreciate your bone and ask for help with your sausage.

 

[Fordzilla]

How exactly does one have an illegal cat? Was it fully automatic?

 

[gratus fermentatio]

Invite him for coffee or homebrew and next time you will get an invite to the party . You can even tell him about how your wife didn't appreciate your bone and ask for help with your sausage.

I LOL'd.

 

[Airplanedoc]

How exactly does one have an illegal cat? Was it fully automatic?

Maybe it wasn't born in this country?

 

[Airplanedoc]

If you saw a documentary on TV titled "The horrendous, irresponsible behavior of a rather young gay man" Would you watch it?

Are you sure you really want to know the answers to the questions that you seek?

Maybe the best answer is pretend its Vegas down there, What happens in the downstairs apartment stays in the downstairs apartment.