Hoarders

How is it that small children on the show "Hoarders" climb over garbage, rusted iron bits, loaded weapons (that actually happened by the way) and what might or might not be anti-personnel mines and seem to come out of just fine... and yet every new parent I know has kidproofed their house to the point that the little rascal could run head first into one of the sponge walls without injury?

Are kids durable or fragile?

the book that comes to mind is "Free Range Kids"
FREE RANGE KIDS has become a national movement, sparked by the incredible response to Lenore Skenazy?s piece about allowing her 9-year-old ride the subway alone in NYC. Parent groups argued about it, bloggers, blogged, spouses became uncivil with each other, and the media jumped all over it. A lot of parents today, Skenazy says, see no difference between letting their kids walk to school and letting them walk through a firing range. Any risk is seen as too much risk. But if you try to prevent every possible danger or difficult in your child?s everyday life, that child never gets a chance to grow up. We parents have to realize that the greatest risk of all just might be trying to raise a child who never encounters choice or independence.

I've been overthinking having kids now that I'm married, because I have nightmares of them being crushed under a falling gallon of mead or falling down stairs or getting locked in the ice-maker.... and here's this guy with a 1 year old and a house that looks like Bowser's castle from Super Mario Brothers...

Much more durable than parents today like to think. The more they get hurt while young the less they will cry about "owies" when they are older. One thing that really bothers me is the over protectiveness parents have over their children. Kids need to get hurt or they will grow up to be pansies.

You know how many trees I fell out of as a child?

When I stuck a coat hanger in an outlet my dad said "bet you won't do that again".

When I was 7 I knocked myself out and lost a permanent front tooth after I smacked into the hardwood floor. We still went on the camping trip later that day (after a hospital visit).

Those are just a few examples that stand out to me. Although, I do not claim to be an action hero, I can claim to be damn resilient to pain. A lot of my confidence comes from knowing that I can take a beating in the real world both mentally and physically and I doubt I would be this way if my parents didn't let me learn from my own stupid mistakes.

Your hoarders example is obviously extreme and could/should be avoided but rules like "don't go out after dark" or giving your <13 year old a cell phone so you can keep constant tabs on them is just ridiculous to me.

All of these rules are why many people I know my age are still living at home and being catered to by their parents. Or why they can't take a joke without getting all butt-hurt, can't take a punch without crying, and can't stand up for themselves without people backing them up, don't have any good work ethic because they were pampered their whole lives and assume that everything should be "easier" or "fair". Guess what, life isn't fair and you should have learned that a LOOOONG time ago.

That was a long post...

I guess what I am saying is a dislike the majority of people my age . They are all either pansies or lazy good-for-nothings...

I'm obviously still on the fence. Its probably wise to insist my kid wear a helmet riding his/her bike (I do live in Queens after all), but I think maybe sanding all the corners off the furniture is going too far.

Friend of a friend bought her toddler a helmet for when he was learning to walk... that sounds like post-partum insanity. Also, I'm going to have to cultivate that bowel-shaking "dad look" my father used to throw at me. I'm just not that physically imposing.

My folks raised up pretty much with the attitude of; "If it didn't kill ya it makes ya stronger" and I am here to tell you we did some crazy stunts as kids. We still have all our limbs and no major scars and when were bad Dad whipped us with a belt or a switch. It definitely taught us the level of our tolerances and on another note; none of us has gone out and commited any crimes due to our childhood, in fact we all turned out pretty successful.

Subsailor said:

My folks raised up pretty much with the attitude of; "If it didn't kill ya it makes ya stronger" and I am here to tell you we did some crazy stunts as kids. We still have all our limbs and no major scars and when were bad Dad whipped us with a belt or a switch. It definitely taught us the level of our tolerances and on another note; none of us has gone out and commited any crimes due to our childhood, in fact we all turned out pretty successful.

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That's quite a contrast to the kids of today.

They've elimated having grades in elementary school since not every kid can get an "A".

They don't have "outs" in my nephew's little league games.

We certainly can't make him feel bad.

I think it's important to recognize our children's feelings, and to protect them from harm. But we've gone so far overboard!

My 10 year old nephew went in the ladies' room at the park with me last month. I'm like, "Um, Ethan? This is the ladies' room". He answered, "I know. I'm not allowed to go into a men's room". "But, Ethan, there's nobody around and it's attached so I could hear you if you had a problem". "No, my mom said I have to never go into a men's room".

Ok, maybe she'll go to college with him so she can make sure he has a nightlight.

I'm all for a society thats a little softer. Honestly, when you have little league mom and dads getting into fist fights over whether or not their 6 year old was safe or out, something went awry. On the other side though, adults and children alike could conceivably find themselves living in a world so "safe" that its really not worth living.

Do you parents out there have your carboys in places where your kids could conceivably touch them? I'm not even talking about drinking from them, just knocking them over to running into them...?

CreamyGoodness said:

Do you parents out there have your carboys in places where your kids could conceivably touch them? I'm not even talking about drinking from them, just knocking them over to running into them...?

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lol.. everything I own is within reach of my kids especially beer.

So I'm basically being a wussy is what you are saying.

CreamyGoodness said:

So I'm basically being a wussy is what you are saying.

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I kinda told ya a little about the way I think in a pm a while back

I remember... at that point I still had a wedding in front of me keeping me safe. lol.

Yooper said:

That's quite a contrast to the kids of today.

They've elimated having grades in elementary school since not every kid can get an "A".

They don't have "outs" in my nephew's little league games.

We certainly can't make him feel bad.

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That's insane. I've heard of stuff like this, but locally it's never been like that. Elementary school has percentage grades (are you just supposed to throw them into high school totally unprepared for that?) and baseball has outs, scores, and a big tournament at the end of the season which definitely produces a winner, runner up, and losers.

I've heard of some children's leagues not keeping score... but no outs? How is the game even played with no outs?

I think the whole trend is downright insulting to children. Even if you're not keeping score, I can almost guarantee you that they are. They're not that stupid.

On the upside, if everyone else keeps raising pansies then our own offspring will rise to the top and someday rule the world. Then we'll be the ones with the last laugh.

emjay said:

That's insane. I've heard of stuff like this, but locally it's never been like that. Elementary school has percentage grades (are you just supposed to throw them into high school totally unprepared for that?) and baseball has outs, scores, and a big tournament at the end of the season which definitely produces a winner, runner up, and losers.

I've heard of some children's leagues not keeping score... but no outs? How is the game even played with no outs?

I think the whole trend is downright insulting to children. Even if you're not keeping score, I can almost guarantee you that they are. They're not that stupid.

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My nephew's t-ball league, everyone bats every inning, and you keep swinging until you hit the ball. You don't get tagged out at the bases, and when the last batter hits, everyone runs home. Granted, this league is for 5- and 6-year olds, I would imagine once they move up a level it changes.

And I agree with you completely. This age of "Yay! Everyone gets a medal!" is disgusting. Sometimes people need to be told they suck, it prepares them for real life.

It's definitely the silly season. I've seen stories of helicopter parents (moms mostly) trying to attend jobs interviews, for their kids! One person commented, "Around here it happens often enough that we have a policy. That applicant gets scratched, no reason given." He went on to say he had received threatening calls and emails from parents!

david_42 said:

It's definitely the silly season. I've seen stories of helicopter parents (moms mostly) trying to attend jobs interviews, for their kids! One person commented, "Around here it happens often enough that we have a policy. That applicant gets scratched, no reason given." He went on to say he had received threatening calls and emails from parents!

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I heard them talking about that on the radio. Stuff like that makes me want to vomit.

My kid falls/runs into stuff at least 3 times a day. I simply ask him if he's ok and that's it. Whenever he does it in public everyone fawns all over him like he's made of glass. He's four, he's clumsy, and he rushes. Almost everything we own is within his reach and has been since he was born. He knows what he's allowed to touch and what he can't, because *gasp* we punish him when he does something wrong.

Think of all the germs that a hoarder kid will probably become immune to because they built up antibodies. Compare them in the future to the children that are raised in antiseptic environments.

My boys are 21, 18,17 and 9. We have had less emergency room visits I bet than someone who shelters their kids. They all race MX, have grown up on a farm, and I make them work at 8 yrs old.
I would wager the 3 oldest have more common sense than most non-homebrewing people out there as well.

CreamyGoodness said:

Do you parents out there have your carboys in places where your kids could conceivably touch them? I'm not even talking about drinking from them, just knocking them over to running into them...?

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I keep carboys out of my own reach......

This thread is disappoint. I thought we were going to talk about how we can't bring ourselves to throw away the sturdy plastic jugs that fruit juice comes in and how we have the whole cabinet under the sink full of those. Hey. I need those. I can put stuff in them. And they have screw tops.

These are the good old days. Don't kid yourself.

Every generation says the exact same thing. I imagine an identical discussion, but in Latin, in another forum that looked like this:

dkwolf said:

And I agree with you completely. This age of "Yay! Everyone gets a medal!" is disgusting. Sometimes people need to be told they suck, it prepares them for real life.

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I played soccer in the 80s as a kid. Everybody got a participation trophy at the end of the semester but I still got tripped and punched in the stomach during games.

Yes, I think kids are being raised as whimps today. I'm not against giving every 5-6 year old a chance to have fun at a ball game. But when I was a kid we could ride out bike downtown at age 12 or even younger. I got to play with matches (I also got in trouble for playing with matches and therefore I learned a couple of valuable lessons. 1, there is a right time and place to play with matches, and 2, I need to be more careful about not letting my parents find out about my playing with matches in the wrong time and place!)

We rode bikes and "jumped" them on ramps and every little piece of raised sidewalk we could find.

I'll be teaching my girls how to perform donuts in a car, because even though it sounds dangerous, it might save their lives, or someone's life in the other car (Knowing how to counter steer probably kept me from running into the car of teenaged girls who were spinning out of control on the freeway in a snowstorm. I was pulling a 25' camper)

I absolutely believe that allowing kids to experience more life at a younger age gives them a chance to understand more as they get older.

Homercidal said:

Yes, I think kids are being raised as whimps today. I'm not against giving every 5-6 year old a chance to have fun at a ball game. But when I was a kid we could ride out bike downtown at age 12 or even younger. I got to play with matches (I also got in trouble for playing with matches and therefore I learned a couple of valuable lessons. 1, there is a right time and place to play with matches, and 2, I need to be more careful about not letting my parents find out about my playing with matches in the wrong time and place!)

We rode bikes and "jumped" them on ramps and every little piece of raised sidewalk we could find.

I'll be teaching my girls how to perform donuts in a car, because even though it sounds dangerous, it might save their lives, or someone's life in the other car (Knowing how to counter steer probably kept me from running into the car of teenaged girls who were spinning out of control on the freeway in a snowstorm. I was pulling a 25' camper)

I absolutely believe that allowing kids to experience more life at a younger age gives them a chance to understand more as they get older.

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Did you kid-proof your house?

we did the obvious kid proofing like lower cabinets, drawers, outlets and stairs.. the extra kid proofing was the railing into the split entry and i just used plastic mesh and zip-ties

ReverseApacheMaster said:

I played soccer in the 80s as a kid. Everybody got a participation trophy at the end of the semester but I still got tripped and punched in the stomach during games.

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As did I. Except in our league, everyone got *something*, the first, second, and third place teams got trophies and I think everyone else got participation medals or something, and it was all awarded at an end-of-the-season awards ceremony. I would have started around kindergarten, and played until we moved after 2nd grade, and if I remember correctly, the awards deal was for all ages, K-12.

dkwolf said:

As did I. Except in our league, everyone got *something*, the first, second, and third place teams got trophies and I think everyone else got participation medals or something, and it was all awarded at an end-of-the-season awards ceremony. I would have started around kindergarten, and played until we moved after 2nd grade, and if I remember correctly, the awards deal was for all ages, K-12.

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I dont have anything against that. Not every kid is training for the olympics, and my interest in sports faded to nothing when I started riding the bench for whole soccer games. But I'm with George Carlin here (when am I not?), there is something character building about being reminded that if you try harder you can accomplish more.

Other than basic childproofing, we did virtually nothing extra with our daughter who is now 10. Granted, she just isn't the sort of kid who got into stuff, but we let her learn from her mistakes. One day, as a toddler, she decided to try the buttons on the AV equipment. She happened to push the power button on the receiver at the same time as she spun the volume knob and got blown back like Marty McFly. We never had to chase her away from the electronics again.

Meh, here's how we rolled in the 60's. Who remembers skates that strapped onto your shoes, metal wheels, a key to adjust them?

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?feature=player_embedded&v=341rybZ42vA

passedpawn said:

Meh, here's how we rolled in the 60's. Who remembers skates that strapped onto your shoes, metal wheels, a key to adjust them?

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?feature=player_embedded&v=341rybZ42vA

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I call BS. I was born in the 70's and babies were not doing that. I would have known...

lschiavo said:

I call BS. I was born in the 70's and babies were not doing that. I would have known...

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We only did that when noone was looking. Anyhoo, neat "video".

We had those in the 80's too. Hell my sister and I used to luge down our steps in a clothes basket. We would line the bottom with pillows just incase. Had a lot of fun doing that. Used to get into fights. MY dad would ask if I started it. Which I never did, then he asked if I won. End of discussion. Busted my face a few times jumping my bike. I turned out just fine, I'm rarely sick and tough to boot. My kids will be raised the same way.