SmokeNbrew
Well-Known Member
Mitch Hedberg--
- I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."
- My girl works at Hooters, in the kitchen.
Zach Galifianakis--
- Hello, my name is Zach Galifianakis, and I hope I'm saying that right.
- My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings.
- Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
- Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
- You know you're an alcoholic when the bartender knows your name... and you've never been to that bar before.
- I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."
- My girl works at Hooters, in the kitchen.
Zach Galifianakis--
- Hello, my name is Zach Galifianakis, and I hope I'm saying that right.
- My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings.
- Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
- Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
- You know you're an alcoholic when the bartender knows your name... and you've never been to that bar before.