My Mouth!

OWWW! FutherMucking toothbrush! I had a few Paulenor Salvators last night... got a little buzz....

I went to brush my teeth this morning to get rid of beer-breath-morning-breath and I didn't "pre-wet" the bristles and just went right into brushing...

the effing hard bristles cut my gums right above my sharp tooth (incisor) high up were your gums meet the top of your cheek... now I can't really open my mouth or eat!!

Hot Salt Water has been flushing my mouth since 8am...

and another thing... why is it when I make my 1yo grilled cheese sandwich and cut it up it tastes so good, so I decide to make my own sandwich and when I bite into it it just doesn't taste as good?

weird.

Food doesn't taste as good with beer breath. Except diner food at 3:00AM. That's ALWAYS m.f. tasty. Plus, there's a special joy that comes from stealing from a baby.

Ah, yes, the old "you're so drunk, you accidentally use a wire brush to brush your teeth" scenario. I freakin' hate it when that happens.

Time for a new toothbrush...or maybe you have GINGIVITIS!

Evan! said:

Ah, yes, the old "you're so drunk, you accidentally use a wire brush to brush your teeth" scenario. I freakin' hate it when that happens.

Time for a new toothbrush...or maybe you have GINGIVITIS!

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haha, no gingivitis here... i just think it's time for a new brush... i fight the gum disease known as gin-ga-vi-tis with the power of Listerine!

even with dry bristles you shouldn't bleed, are your gums are made out of tissue paper?

the_bird said:

Plus, there's a special joy that comes from stealing from a baby.

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And the Father of the Year award goes to: the_bird!!!!


J/K man, I've done that too! LOLOL!!!!

Bernie Brewer said:

And the Father of the Year award goes to: the_bird!!!!


J/K man, I've done that too! LOLOL!!!!

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Halloween's the best/worst!

"She doesn't need all this freakin' candy!"

the_bird said:

Halloween's the best/worst!

"She doesn't need all this freakin' candy!"

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Ha!!! I STILL steal from my kids' Halloween stash!!! Especially the Kit-kats and Peanut Butter cups! And Butterfingers, and Bit-o-Honey, and...................

the_bird said:

There's a special joy that comes from stealing from a baby.

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That made me laught so hard i had to steal it. But I also dont want/like kids.

the_bird said:

Food doesn't taste as good with beer breath. Except diner food at 3:00AM. That's ALWAYS m.f. tasty. Plus, there's a special joy that comes from stealing from a baby.

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3am Diner food :rockin:

As for the rest, too true. The validation for it comes when you look at that loving offspring and realize that precious little child will be sucking the life out of you for the next 18 to 21 years. (Depending of course...)

That said, it is fun to get them to do something that'll will mortify their mother/SWMBO when you are out in public.

Ize

uglygoat said:

even with dry bristles you shouldn't bleed, are your gums are made out of tissue paper?

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they were rock hard... normal dry bristles down make me bleed... these were rock hard....

solid.

i said hard.

BraeHaus said:

they were rock hard... normal dry bristles down make me bleed... these were rock hard....

solid.

i said hard.

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Did you pi$$ the wife off and she coated your toothbrush with superglue or something?

BraeHaus said:

...the effing hard bristles cut my gums right above my sharp tooth (incisor) high up were your gums meet the top of your cheek... now I can't really open my mouth or eat!!...

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If you would have brushed your teeth instead of your gums, the outcome may have been different. Just sayin

Geeze, toothbrushes make you bleed? Who do you get to remove the pea from under your mattress?


TL

You sure you didn't accidentally pick up the razor instead of the toothbrush?

How drunk were you?

BraeHaus said:

they were rock hard... normal dry bristles down make me bleed... these were rock hard....

solid.

i said hard.

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The moral of this story is- don't put anything that could be described as "rock hard" in your mouth. I'm just sayin'.....


True story: A friend of mine was complaining that his teeth hurt one night. When I questioned him about it, it turned out that he had just brushed his teeth FOR THE FIRST TIME! This cat is 21 years old! How does one miss out on the whole dental hygene experience for 21 years? How do you do it and still have teeth?
His teeth weren't green, or anything. I know... I just threw up in my mouth a little too.