You know you're a home brewer when?

TAK said:

You know you’re a home brewer when at the grocery store, your five year old says “look dad, they have hops”. You turn around and find artichokes.

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^^This, eh?

When your all by yourself on valentine's brewing a batch of beer, stirring it on the stove to bump the temp up from a protein rest, to a saccrification rest....Start thinking about what the LODO brewers would say...and start laughing out loud....

TAK said:

You know you’re a home brewer when at the grocery store, your five year old says “look dad, they have hops”. You turn around and find artichokes.

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I once had to go to the post office to pick up a delivery from a retailer who had recycled a Farams box to hold my order. The postmistress couldn't work out why I was getting cabbages sent through the post, as she thought that was what was depicted in the picture on the box!

Northern_Brewer said:

I once had to go to the post office to pick up a delivery from a retailer who had recycled a Farams box to hold my order. The postmistress couldn't work out why I was getting cabbages sent through the post, as she thought that was what was depicted in the picture on the box!

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I once had a hops package sent from idaho to N. California from a hop farmer friend....got searched on the way, probably thinking marijuana!

bracconiere said:

when 30 min after finishing a brew session and pitching your yeast...Your filling your beer glass next to the fermenter, and hear the first bubble out the airlock...and almost jizz your pants!

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Guilty of checking the airlock every 30 minutes after pitch. And one of my most relaxing sounds to hear is the thump thump thump of the blow off into the stainless growler I use for a sanitizer jar!

You see a new section at the grocery and the sign says, “Brew Perfect” and get excited thinking they opened a home brew section.

Read small print underneath large print that says, “...coffee every time” and feel like an idiot.

When you find yourself sleeping in the same room with three active fermentations and you get so accustomed to that constant bubbling sound of an airlock that you are actually able to fall asleep listening to that.

ESBrewer said:

When you find yourself sleeping in the same room with three active fermentations and you get so accustomed to that constant bubbling sound of an airlock that you are actually able to fall asleep listening to that.

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you read a post like this...and wonder how people can sleep without it! (i feel sorry for people that don't homebrew, because when they get up in the morning...that's the best their going to feel all day)

When you have a dedicated sponge and special soap for beer glasses so that they can become “beer clean.” @CascadesBrewing

When you go to a new restaurant and order and ipa, and are served a lager, then proceed to help the owner troubleshoot his keg lines to find the couplers were switched.

You have an hour or so left at work for the day so you get on the homebrewtalk forums to have a look around to wet your appetite for this weekends brew day!

When you make all your beer.

When I fry loose hamburger, I drain the grease by tilting the pan. I spoon out the grease, with some meat, and pour it back to the top until it runs clear - then pour the clear grease into a waste can. Brewers will recognize this as vorlaufing.

When you get worried something is wrong with the fermenter because your wife is not complaining that her nurses scrubs in the laundry room might smell dank like pot. (fermenter is there because it is warmer 64f in winter)

When you tell yourself that all the household chores and yard work are prep work for brew day.

When you get the reading of the hydrometer in front of you after turning it in the test tube.
Only achieved by 0.0091% of brewers

When the only thing that makes you reconsider your weekend binges are when you get too shattered on Saturday to have your Sunday brew day.

You get up at 1:30 in the morning to put another empty water jug on the ro filter so you'll have enough to brew tonight! (me this morning)

You know you are a home brewer when you design an addition to your kitchen around the new brewery you ordered, including 240 electrical. Now in the process of redesigning for a different brewery since the Pico Brew Z2 is still not in existence. Including changing the 240 electrical to 110 20 amp.

When you look in your old smart phone and find a list of 9 recipes you wanted to brew next... In order.

Andrew Hodgson said:

When the only thing that makes you reconsider your weekend binges are when you get too shattered on Saturday to have your Sunday brew day.

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Its like you somehow have obtained the viewmaster disk of my innermost soul.

You know you are a home brewer when the wife brings home a bag of 2 row and says "have fun, make something good!"

When you're working from home, just so you can brew a batch of beer.

You have a knee replacement and you chalk it up to being able to better lift those mash tuns with 20+ pounds of grist! And the pain is just the excuse I need to churn out a few 8-10% percenters!!

Looking over building plans for a new house and planning where to put the brewery. (And maybe the bar).

thehaze said:

When you're working from home, just so you can brew a batch of beer.

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Guilty

When you’re flying for work and pack light enough for what you need but with enough wiggle room to bring back a lot of beer safely and stay under 50lbs.
Normally I drive and just bring a big cooler.

If you measure beer in gallons. And you don’t think 40 gallons is alot of beer.

You might be a homebrewer.

When your evening's entertainment is sitting in your garage listening to your fermenter fart. And giggling like a silly girl with every eruption. Yes drinking beer is involved.

When you, after 2+ years of kegging, finally have to bottle a batch because half of it is going somewhere else...and you find 22oz bottles ALL OVER THE HOUSE. Garage, kitchen, brew room, even a random grocery bag in the back bedroom that someone gave me way back when. And I am NOT looking forward to cleaning, delabelling, rinsing, sanitizing, filling all of them. Also when you're drinking on some 12s the husband brought home at 7am in the morning so I have some to use for competition bottles. Hic.

You know you're a homebrewer when a friend gives you a small freezer and you immediately order parts to make a keezer.

When you ask a pharmacist if they sell syringes in singles and they shove one in you hand and whisper "don't worry, it's free".

And then you're like "OH! No, I'm a homebrewer."

And they're like "Shhhh. It's okay."

So you shrug, pocket it and leave.

When your phone autocorrects, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” to, “Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder”...

olephart said:

When your phone autocorrects, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” to, “Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder”...

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Isn't that, "Absinthe makes the fart go 'honda'?"

You buy a new fridge and while cleaning out the old one you find a few bottles of “mystery beer”.

Well, it’s jet black so there’s a clue as to style!

The doctor asks how much you have been drinking and your like... Oh they mean fluids...

You might be a homebrewer if you're looking for something to eat in the pantry, and find a random 22oz bottle (not labelled) and stick it in the fridge...and 24 hours later discover it's the last bottle of your 2018 holiday ale. And it tasted fantastic. And then remember you wanted to age it another 6 months but don't regret it.

You know you're a home brewer when the weather changes your plans from doing something outside to "getting stuck" at home brewing and it is no big deal because you have enough 2 row and other ingredients to throw together a summer ale.

rhys333 said:

When you ask a pharmacist if they sell syringes in singles and they shove one in you hand and whisper "don't worry, it's free".

And then you're like "OH! No, I'm a homebrewer."

And they're like "Shhhh. It's okay."

So you shrug, pocket it and leave.

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I learned the hard way that asking to buy a box of syringes "for my diabetic cat" was the standard line every strung-out IV drug abuser gives when asking for needles. The fact that I insisted on the .5ml U-40 insulin syringes my cat actually needs over whatever rando-sized turkey basters they were handing me made no nevermind; in their eyes I was just another druggy