My Murphy's Law Nightmare

So here we go. If it could go wrong it did from not being properly prepared to not knowing my equipment enough. Last night was my first brew. Simple extract recipe should be a snap. Yeah. 1st thing hook up propane tank to turkey fryer, simple enough. Wrong. Connections do not match up(1st rule be prepared). Ok no problem we will do it on the grill burner. Raining! Heck with it we will do it in the kitchen. How hard can a simple 2 gallon boil be?(I would soon find out) Well everthing sanitized check. Lovely wife brings home my spring water check. Everything I need to make a honey porter ready to go everything in proper bags and ready and lined up for ease. Starting my recipe.


Adding 5lbs dark dry malt extract to 2 gallons of water and stir till disolved got it. So far so good. Adding my muslim bag of specialty malts( Black Patent Malt-Chocolate Malt -Flake Barley) cranking heat to medium high and be patient for 20 minutes. Patient got it. (I have an eleven year old boy who thinks he is 16 I got patients!!) 20 minuttes goes by and told to crank heat up to achieve boil. Boil! 20 minutes pass no boil. ok no problem leting it o some more bag of malts still in. Still no boil! 20 minutes pass what is this boil they speak of?!?! Now I am getting a lttle nervous. ( you see I can cook with the best of them, I cannot bake. I look at brewing being more of a baking process where everything must be precise, while cooking you can start to wing it some and go with the flow.) So I decide now to just pull the bag(feel like it is in there long enough) and acheive my boil this way.


Did I say boil the most I got out of this was a small boil coming up from the center of the pot the best I am going to get it seems. Now it tells me to add 1/2 ounce of my bttiering hops (Magnum bittering pellets. Check drop them in and stir. Glass of cold water waitig for the dreaded boil over. Boil over my ass. I dont think that will be a problem tonight.After 35 minute of chugging along(no longer will I refer to this as bloiling) I add my Whirlflo tablet and chugg along for 10 more minutes. Next step at second bag containg Willamette Flowering hops cgugg 2 more minutes remove from chugging and add 2lbs honey and stir. Got it adding to nice big ice bath. Ass the wort is cooling get the dry yeast ready by following instructions and waiting while wort cools. Turkey baster ready thermo ready hydrometer ready. (2nd rule know your equipment) Well turns out the thermo is too big so getting a temp was interesting to say the least. Reading 70 ready to add to primary using brew bag to strain through. Dont forget no full boil( I hate that word now) so I am left with wort on top of brew bag with nice layer of sediment.


Ok go got through that.(I will never give up by the way) Next take sample to read gravity. (know thy equipment) after trying twice and figurig I have the dang thing upside down. Finally got the reading and after no adjstment(temp was at 65 and it said no adjusting needed at that temp. I got a reading of 1.062. Recipe called for 1.058, close enough I guess. Lid on bubbler in and I wait. I guess I really did expect to see bubbles right now.I have the s-shaped blow of thing. Into a room that stays at around 68. We keep the vent closed in that room. We hardly go in there so that is where the primary is sitting. Now I did try the wort while I took the reading. Tasted like really flat sweet beer. Or close enough I guess. I get up this morning and yeah bubbles. Aggresive bubbling at that. I am happy now. Only time will tell what I end up with. I am from the guild of go big or go home. WHen I got my deluxe kit I had to get the kegging system. After getting everything and dropping $400 total ther was no giving up and dumping it last night. I learned that from other post here never give up and relax. So any advie or comments will not go unheard and I am officially hooked. Thank you all for any help. Going back to stare at my bubbler.

Wow, you are a trooper... awesome, you made beer! I am curious though, what connections didnt match up on your burner? I started brewing with all grain, with no instruction from anyone but a book... I had a couple challenging brews, but damnit, it made good beer, and so will yours. Just think of all the things that will go RIGHT next time after this learning experience!

I am a pilot and when we are taking our flight tests in the SIM, the rule is, dont be shaken... if you mess up a maneuver, FORGET IT and keep on flying, after all, that is what youd do in real life right? You didnt let the frustration get to you and finished your first brew, you my friend are a good brewer.

Paragraphs would be nice.

Actually, you did fine! You're not supposed to boil the grain bag anyway, so it's a good thing you pulled it out.

What you do is add the water to the pot and bring up to 155 degrees or so, and add the grain bag. Steep it like tea for about 15-20 minutes, then remove the grain bag and then bring it up to a boil. That's when you add the extact, and then the first hops. So, your stove did you a favor by not letting your boil your grain!

It sounds like you didn't do too badly for your first try!

Welcome to the obsession!

wildwest450 said:

Paragraphs would be nice.

Click to expand...

I like the one, long paragraph. Gives the reader the feel of his frustration.
I'm a writer, what can I say.

OP, good job. You persevered. What doesn't kill you will only make you want to kill somebody else.

wildwest450 said:

Paragraphs would be nice.

Click to expand...

I couldn't read it for the above reason, sorry.

Way to prevail! I'm glad my first brew wasn't that frustrating! Brewing should be more enjoyable than that, so good luck on your next batch!

Thank you all for the kind words.Will defintly be doing this again.

The problem with the burner was the connection on the hose did not match up with the one on the propane tank. Looks like I need either a differetn tank or some kind of coupling. Checked on my temps and still at 68 and bubbling away.

LOL! sounds a bit familiar....

i used a 20qt pot (20/4=5 gallons right?) my 20 qt pot with 3 gallons of spring water was 3" from the top....

three gallons, stainless pot, dual burner glass cooktop (3000 watt?) and 2.5 hours, NO rolling boil.... 1700 fricken dollars for a stove and it cannot boil water??

the pot is too big for my bbq burner.
so, no hot break for me either.

we will see how it turns out.

glad to know i am not the only one!


i tried to use paragraphs all

but instead, i typed a bunch of small sentences.

Must be an old tank, or old hose... they changed the connections on these years ago for safety reasons.

You will have to buy a new hose/regulator for the burner is all. Just make sure that the threaded nipple for the burner is the same on the new hose. Also, make sure you get a regulator with the same PSI rating, 5psi, 10psi etc... it should only cost $15 or so.

EDIT, here is what it is... maybe more than $15
http://www.jambalaya-iron-pots.com/m5hpr_propane_regulator.htm

Glad my first batch back went better then that! lol Your hard work will pay off.....

this is what i am ordering to combat the underpowered stove top....should also work well for turkey frying ( i have only ever deep fried a whole chicken and it was superb!)

Amazon.com: Bayou Classic SP50 Tall High-Pressure Outdoor Gas Cooker: Patio, Lawn & Garden

this one is alot taller, which should save my back, and help with siphoning to the primary.


well, i actually put my cooled wort 1/2 gal at a time in sanitized gallon baottle, and shook the hell out of them, then dumped into the primary, and stirred it real well before pitching... hoping i got enough o2!

Thanks alot Pol. That is exactly it. Will take mine apart and start looking for numbers and pressure readings and comparing.

nosmatt that looks good right there.

Looking like I also need to learn how to use the quote function better.