The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

Melomel??? What are you doing? Trying to get a bunch of 13 year old girls drunk?

At least I didn't have to add beano to it...

az_ipa said:

at least i didn't have to add beano to it...

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rotflmao

Hey Cape,
Do you get Beano at wholesale, being a pro and all? Just wondering?

AZ_IPA said:

At least I didn't have to add beano to it...

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I laughed out loud! Congrats by the way.

There's nothing wrong with getting chicks drunk. "If there's grass on the field, play ball!"

paulthenurse said:

I look pretty damned good in my thong, especially the gold shiny one . You're just jealous.

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How do you know Paul? You can't see down there to know what you look like.

Hey Paul. How did last year's U finish out? Still waiting on my share

Hey Rick,

What? Has your glass phobia extended to the point that you took all the mirrors out of your house?

"I used to have mirrors but I broke one once and now I can't pick my nose. You should get rid of yours, too!"

Nope, never broke a mirror. But I'm guessing you got one of those mirrors that you see at carnivals. The ones that make you look thin. That could explain why you think you look good. You should try a flat mirror. Oh, wait, never mind. You might get scared at the sight you see and never look in the mirror again.

DakotaRules said:

Congrats by the way.

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Thanks. Cape could've tried some last year at NHC (soper and olllllllllllllllllllllllllo tried it), but he was too busy driving down the Pacific Coast Highway in his convertible camero with the wind blowing through his "hair"

Hey Rick, it's back.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B002V...17145&creative=399369&creativeASIN=B002VFXW5W

AZ_IPA said:

Thanks. Cape could've tried some last year at NHC (soper and olllllllllllllllllllllllllo tried it), but he was too busy driving down the Pacific Coast Highway in his convertible camero with the wind blowing through his "hair"

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You can always send me a bottle!

What's up with the twins logo? I'm from Fargo, ND and grew up watching them.

AZ_IPA said:

Thanks. Cape could've tried some last year at NHC (soper and olllllllllllllllllllllllllo tried it), but he was too busy driving down the Pacific Coast Highway in his convertible camero with the wind blowing through his "hair"

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Crap... Speaking if that NHC and trying beers... I still have that sour that Sacch gave me. We should open that soon.

DakotaRules said:

You can always send me a bottle!

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Maybe I'll bring some if I make it up to your neck of the woods one of these years...

DakotaRules said:

What's up with the twins logo? I'm from Fargo, ND and grew up watching them.

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Was a fan growing up....they suck now, but I'll keep the avatar until the season starts.

Cape Brewing said:

Crap... Speaking if that NHC and trying beers... I still have that sour that Sacch gave me. We should open that soon.

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Ya know, I have everything he gave me still. I be some of those have aged nicely. I need to do an inventory tonight.

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what
their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up - fireman, mechanic, businessman,
salesman... and so forth..

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically
quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father,
he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret
and takes off all his clothes to music in
front of other men and they put money in his underwear.
Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home
with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly
set the other children to work on some exercises and
took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really
true about your father?"






Wait for it...........

















"No," the boy said. "He works for the Democratic National
Committee and helped to get Obama elected, but it's too
embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids."

Now that's a good joke!

DakotaRules said:

Now that's a good joke!

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Bail out.

Dont turn this thread political.

Trust me... People display ridiculous ignorance on an hourly basis as it is. Let's not bring that to a whole new level by adding people's expert political analysis.

Guys, POLITICS!

Wow settle down guys, one joke!

So Paul, Brian, and Skid Mark get stranded on an island and the natives capture them. The only way they don't get eaten by the natives is that they must find fruit on the island and bring 10 of them back to the chief.

Paul returns with 10 apples and the chief says great, now in order for you to survive, you have to put all 10 of them up your butt and not flinch or make a sound. Paul stuffs 2 apples and finches, the chief killed him.

Brian retuned with 10 blueberries and stuffs 8 before the chief killed him.

Brian meets Paul at the GATES OF HELL and Paul was like, WTH, you had blueberries, you got to 8 what happened?

Brain said I had no issue but then I saw Skid Mark coming back with pineapples and I started laughing!

I call foul! Politically incorrect!! In one so called joke you made fun of fruits, heathens and fudge packers. I'm sorry but we have to let you go. And you should probably get a lawyer.


And we all know that when Brian and I meet up in the hereafter the Pearly Gates won't be anywhere nearby.

PTN

(knodding in agreement)

... wouldn't it have made more sense if Yeager was the one with the blueberries?...

Yeager may have liked the blueberries more if they came out of Brian.

And I made the appropriate changes to where they end up.

I just feel bad for the poor little finch that Paulie stuffed up his hindquarters.



That's it, I'm calling PETA on your ass!

What State is this new brewery in? I can't find it on the web site.

Da Peeples Re-Publik ob Massychussy.

"Bog Iron Brews. Sometimes you just feel like a glass of Swamp Water!"

"Every brew made with 100% peat malt!"

Your jealousy continues to reach new heights

Any free kegs from Bong Water Breweries on opening day?

the_bird said:

"Every brew made with 100% peat malt!"

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Not true... We are heavy with the nutmeg as well. It strays from the true "bogyness" but we think it rounds the beer off nicely.

Vee use honly die finest Kaiser Malt in der Vaterland, raised in die kingdom of Bog Iron, crushed between die thighs of virgins and brewed by der finest brewgermeisters in der Vaterland! Bog Iron Beers. Try one! Ja!

I should of known better when the label said "Imperial Oktoberfest Beer". Yuck, elcckk, umph. Imperial Oktoberfest!?!?!? What the fawk was Avery thinking.

Headed to the Boston Sea Rovers show , the oldest scuba show around, and our ok'd friend and Masshole Mort is da top dog, el Presedente', the Big Kahuna. Too bad he can't brew.

Hey Cape, you should bring him in as a partner. He's got the qualifications!

PTN
track me down at the show, I just got done with my meetings.

So the owner of Moodlight Meadery in New Hampshaaaaaaaaah (isn't that how you m******** talk? ) judged my mead at Mazer Cup and wants to talk about the recipe! :rockin:

AZ_IPA said:

So the owner of Moodlight Meadery in New Hampshaaaaaaaaah (isn't that how you m******** talk? ) judged my mead at Mazer Cup and wants to talk about the recipe! :rockin:

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Too many a's. We talk fast here, and if we spent that much time pronouncing all those a's, the person we're talking to would start their own conversation.

And, does he want to talk about the recipe to know what not to do?

He's got a nice little lineup of meads out for sale. Unfortunately, it's all a little hot because of the nature of mead. What startup business can afford to sit on it's product for the five years plus it takes before meads lose that medicinal hotness? Good for you though AZ. You were judged by someone who knows what they are judging. Let's face it, 95% of the time mead gets judged by beer guys who have a light day as skiffs. "Hey Joe, since you are only judging light lagers and milds today, can you and Fred do the meads too?"

And just ignore Rick, we all do.