Bagel dispute: open vs. closed

My roommate and I are deadlocked in a battle over the correct way to eat a bagel with cream cheese. One of us fervently believes that a bagel must be eaten open-face; the other is just as adamant that they must be eaten closed, as a sandwich. Which of us is right? No moderates please (moderators, on the other hand, grudgingly welcomed).

Note: we are talking purely about a regular bagel with cream cheese, perhaps lox. Exciting sandwich creations are irrelevant to our dispute.

I'm a bagel whore so I love them any way I can get them, but usually I prefer them open...

I didn't even know that closed was an option, and I am resistant to and scared of change, so you will never see me eating a bagel with cream cheese that isn't open faced.

Definitely open ... unless you add tomatoes and red onion along with the lox, then it's closed.

Open with cream cheese, closed with any kind of meat... Hmmm bacon...

Bacon is meat candy.

Let the record show that anyone who thinks that eating a cream-cheese bagel closed-face is socially acceptable behavior is wrong. And a *****ebizzag.

rmck1 said:

Open with cream cheese, closed with any kind of meat... Hmmm bacon...

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Do lox count as meat, in your opinion?

What meshugass...only some kind of fachadick shagetz would insist upon eating a closed-face bagel. Feh...this is hockin me a chinick.

Open, no question.

Rick

Man, when I eat a bagel with cream cheese open I always get the cream cheese in my beard/mustache. If it is flavored it gets in there and I can smell it all day. I still eat my bagels open.

eating it open gives you twice as much time to enjoy it

I guess I am a white trash, swill drinking ****** because I eat them closed. Now that I've weighed in I'm going leave the trailer and go put another car on blocks.

McKBrew said:

I guess I am a white trash, swill drinking ****** because I eat them closed. Now that I've weighed in I'm going leave the trailer and go put another car on blocks.

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Don't ferget to stop next door and give yer cousin some lovin...

Open...loaded with onion, tomato and a sprinkle of black pepper...

Toasted Open faced garlic bagle with cream cheese onion, tomato (from the garden) sea salt & crushed pepper.

Open faced for sure... I'll agree with the comment that it should only be closed if there is meat in there (like a breakfast bagel sandwich).

Open lasts longer. The only reason I'd do closed is if it were a bagel/egg sandwich.

This poll is CLOSED!

As a bagel expert (I made bagels in a family run bagel shop for 7 years), I'd have to say, it doesn't matter. What's important is the bagel itself. If you have a crap bagel, I don't care what you put on it, it's not going to be good. The most important ingredient in bagels - water. If you don't have the right water, it's not going to be good.




I voted for closed.

Professor Frink said:

What's important is the bagel itself. If you have a crap bagel, I don't care what you put on it, it's not going to be good. The most important ingredient in bagels - water. If you don't have the right water, it's not going to be good.

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That was very insightful.

I'm a closed man for filling and an open man for just a topping.

Warped04 said:

That was very insightful.

I'm a closed man for filling and an open man for just a topping.

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My boss learned how to make bagels from a guy who had an incredibly successful bagel shop in NY. He moved to Florida, opened a bagel shop, and made some terrible bagels. He realized, the water was different. He had water shipped down from NY to Florida in order to make a good bagel.

Open

Although, there was a street vendor in Carbondale, IL, that sold them closed. He grilled them on his cart and added cream cheese, grilled onions, tomato, and a couple other goodies. They were quite tasty.

I prefer unsliced and dipped in cream cheese. So... neither.

Alright, now that the poll is closed we can come out and say which of us was whom.

I was the sensible one who eats his bagels open.

rockin

Because it prolongs the pleasure, allows you to fully enjoy the texture and flavour of the cream cheese (without it being all hidden away by bread), and really stresses the jaw less than a big closed new york bagel with a centimeter of cream cheese in it.

Of course, I'd predicted I'd take 80%+, so I'm actually a little bit humbled. To the order of 0.45% humbled.

All you girls can continue eating open faced with your pinky extended into the air, taking the most danty bites possible.

Open if I can sit, eat and take my time. Closed for on the go. This may not be refuted. Next question

Open if its cream cheese only, closed if its a sandwich.

Bacon, Fried Egg, salt, pepper, slice of American cheese and toasted bagel FTW

Closed....

Closed! Always. Irrefutable.

And preferably with a freshly made "Everything" bagel and a heap of slightly tangy cream cheese.

Dang. Now I'm hungry...

what kind of bagels you guys eating? those fake bread bagels? Real bagels are chewy as hell and toast it like a mofo and your talking about some serious jaw workout if closed.

if I'm on a cruise ship and order them from room service, open with locks on the side with a squeeze of lemon. if I am driving to work and stop at my favorite bagel place, closed with locks, onion and sliced tomato.

Open if I'm seated and enjoying the bagel with only one thing on it, i.e. only cream cheese.

Closed if I'm driving or if I'm having more than one thing on the bagel such as butter and jelly

Open all the way with Cream Cheese, Lox, Red Onion and bean Sprouts.

stever said:

what kind of bagels you guys eating? those fake bread bagels?

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Sadly, the "round bread" bagel is the only variety most people will ever have. The real deal used to be the norm here in Los Angeles, but it's getting harder and harder to find. We've got great tortillas though!

What's with all this eating of closed bagels in cars?!? Don't eat while you're driving...it's bad enough that ya'll are on the phone!

open is for toasted and if you are not driving around. open is also acceptable as a sub for toast during a more leisurely breakfast altogether.

closed is for untoasted bagels, bacon-bagels, driving. driving around eating. and talking on the phone. and playing risk.

eating cream-cheese on a closed bagel, it's going to squish out, so you can't put as much cheese on it. so - of course - that's rubbish.

A bagel with more than cream cheese and ONE additional ingredient is a sandwich and must be closed. Cream Cheese + one ingredient = open faced.

I don't eat anything that's communist, and my grandpappy said the bagel is a communist plot to take over the USA.

EvilTOJ said:

I don't eat anything that's communist, and my grandpappy said the bagel is a communist plot to take over the USA.

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You must be real iffy on the wrap, too.

blacklab said:

A bagel with more than cream cheese and ONE additional ingredient is a sandwich and must be closed. Cream Cheese + one ingredient = open faced.

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Not so. I like cream cheese, lox, thin sliced onions, and capers if they're on the deli plate. I'll throw sliced tomatos on there too, at least once the salmonella scare is over. Open faced, of course. That's how we roll in the civilized world of bagel eating.

Oh, and that other half of the bagel...be a mensch, and leave it for someone else to eat.

You get more bagel when its open, duh.

when I make them at home, open... but sometimes when I order one when I'm out getting coffee, they make it closed and wrap it up so I end up eating it closed.