Subway sandwiches. More nonsense.

By means of disclaimer, I want to point out that while I am exaggerating somewhat below... I'm not exaggerating a whole heck of a lot. Some of the ridiculous stuff below has actually happened without embellishment. Until SWMBO stops sending me there instead of the delicious European deli a block away, I will gather more instances of why Subway is a menace.

Ordering a sandwich at Subway is kind of annoying. My usual order, tuna on wheat with extra pickles for SWMBO and steak and cheese on "Italian" (they play rather fast and loose with the definition for Italian there) is usually not too difficult to get through.

This is not to say it is without peril. There is usually a cheese disconnect. They ask what cheese on the steak and cheese (I refuse to call anything toasted in a large microwave a "cheesesteak") and I say provolone. They make a face and ask "this one?" I say "no that one" and I point. Usually they get this on the second try, but sometimes its the third. We've lost a minute and a half, and honestly, thats not so bad.

They then ask what cheese on the tuna. I say "no cheese on the tuna please." They look at me as if I am wearing a NAMBLA T-Shirt and have just slapped a toddler. For some reason, the 30th Avenue Subway will NOT abide cheeseless tuna. I've learned to live with it. These are the same guys every time, mind you, so I have this same conversation bi-weekly or monthly.

I'm going to pause here and suggest that those visiting the Subway shop on 30th Avenue in beautiful, vibrant Astoria select their beverages from the soda fountain and ask no questions about bottled beverages. If you want something CRAZY like, say, Orangina, inquiring after it will cause all 3 gentlemen behind the counter to huddle. They will speak quickly and with growing concern for about 5 minutes in a mystery language before coming back to you and asking "do you mean chips?" That actually happened, by the way.

Ok, back to sandwiches. Notice I have chosen two sandwiches that require little or no vegetable matter? This is because I once ordered the BMT (a series of letters that seem to mean nothing, though I usually think "bowel movement taco" and chortle like a 9 year old) and it was absolute hell. Never again. The sandwich technicians at Subway are overloaded with possible vegetable permutations and clam up if you ask for more than 2. Lettuce is usually safe but sweet peppers? Forget it. They take their examination-gloved hand and make a small circle over the case and you have to tell them to stop. For nostalgia's sake I like to shout "OK BIG BUCKS NO WHAMMIES NO WHAMMIES AND... STOP!" Worst comes to worst I wind up with red onion. But a sandwich like the BMT is sort of a maxi to tuna's mini. It just screams for all sorts of sauces and vegetables. I tried to helpfully say "all the veggies except for red onion" but it was no use. "Cucumbers?" "sigh... yes please" "olives?" "yes please... all the veggies except for red onion" "...pickles?"

By the time I got my sandwich that day I went into hypoglycemic shock... and there was red onions on it. I now avoid the veggies like the plague.

I know what you are thinking... Creamy, just bring your order written down! I thought about doing this as well, until I saw a guy who had the same idea. They took his outlined sandwich order, read it, and asked "cucumbers?..." So yeah, I dont think I will succeed where others have failed.

Lastly, something new. Avocado. I love avocado. Subway has forsaken its wives and children in favor of its one and only true love... avocado. They are pushing the stuff like the knockoff handbag dealers on Canal street (those of you not familiar, picture the open air market in an Indiana Jones movie). They ask you at least twice if you want their pre-packaged avocado on any and all sandwiches you order, even if avocado has absolutely no business being on that sandwich.

Yesterday's sandwiches? "Albuquerque Turkey" for SWMBO since they were out of tuna on wheat, and steak and cheese with provolone... yes, THAT one... on "italian". Somehow they both wound up with avocado. Also, SWMBO hated her sandwich, and wound up eating mine.

sigh... it will pass.

I was starting to wonder where creamy went. I figured after you got married your wife wouldn't let you out of your cage but now I see she has you running to subway at least.

I don't really mind subway except that it takes 3 of their sandwiches to fill me up... A new sandwich shop (Potbelly) just opened up around here that is much more competent and delicious.

If you live in the Northeast, and have access to a local deli, but still choose to eat Subway instead... Sorry but you're probably going to burn in hell.


So lets see the rack of this she devil, must be well worth this repeated trouble

What.. no mention of road-rage on the way to Subway?

Order without pants, it is subway after all.

Yeah, Subway is fun like that. I stop by there if I am at home working on the house or brewing and need something quick and fast. There are about 4 Subways within 3 miles of my house.

Here are some other fun things about Subway...

I like a little mayo and a little mustard on my sandwich, especially if the meat is leaner. "A little mayo" seems to mean drench the sandwich. A little mustard? No, it will be dripping all over your house when you eat it. But, if you ask for extra banana peppers, you will get two.

Last time I went, I ordered a BMT on herb bread (or whatever) and got turkey on wheat. I still haven't figured that out.

They always ask what you want as far as veggies, and I too only like to go one at a time. But they keep asking. Me: "Tomato" Them (as they are arranging the tomato): "What else?" Me: "Lettuce." Them (after they finish arranging the tomato): "What else?" If you try not to be pedantic and not say lettuce again, you will not get lettuce.

Once I was there and was choosing my toppings and they started putting black olives on the sandwich. I hate black olives. I had to stop them. The woman looked at me like I had killed her dog and dumped the entire sandwich in the trash. Started a new one, and gave me attitude about what I wanted on it. I told her she could have just picked them off instead of throwing away the sandwich...that did not help the situation.

It is always an adventure there, that is for sure.

EDIT: Oh, and my favorite (this is not really Subway specifc) is when the person making your sandwich asks you what you want and as soon as you start to answer he/she turns and starts talking to his/her co-worker. Then, he/she turns back and asks you again. Three times in a row. If I wasn't so hungry I would have probably just left.

With all of the Awesome food in NYC what the hell are you doing eating at Subway!! Even Astoria has good Deli's /Bagel Shops. It has been many years since my SJP days but there is/was a pretty pretty good bagel shop off of Ditmars Blvd.

Eating at Subway proves he must be a closet BMC fan.

Par for the course. I'll put up with it for the price.

Try ordering something on untoasted flatbread. Every single person in the line comments on it, every time. "You SURE you don't want this toasted?...it's cold"

Yes, I'm sure.

Uh, I guess Subway is better out here on the left coast. I don't think I've ever heard of so many problems. The only issue I ever run in to is when I tell them I want lite mayo and then have to quickly explain I want the lower fat mayonnaise, not a light serving of regular mayonnaise.

zman said:

With all of the Awesome food in NYC what the hell are you doing eating at Subway!! Even Astoria has good Deli's /Bagel Shops. It has been many years since my SJP days but there is/was a pretty pretty good bagel shop off of Ditmars Blvd.

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For reasons I am yet to understand, my wife likes a subway sandwich. I let it happen every so often, but for the most part I stick to my guns and insist we get something good.

I have been holding this in for years, but you have awoke the beast

The ad campaign for their Big Hot Pastrami, which was niether big nor hot and im still questioning if it was pastrami, piqued my interest so I bit. On three seperate occasions, at three seperate stores I ordered it expedcting to get something similar to the one in the ad. I ordered and selected my bread then I was asked what cheese? I said I want the exact sandwich in the picture. They said what kind of cheese would I like I asked what cheese it comes with in the picture, they said I can have any cheese I want, so I gave up and asked for swiss. then on to the toppings I said I want the exact sandwich in the picture that was right behind them. The one they sell and invented and advertised as a big hot pastrami. The asked if I wanted lettuce, I asked if it came with lettuce, they said I can heve anything. Again I asked for the sandwich in the picture. The final straw was when they asked me, on all three occasions if I wanted it toasted. A big HOT pastrami! toasted? I asked if it would still be a big HOT pastrami if it wasn't toasted and they said I can have it any way I want. I said I wanted the sandwich in the picture, that is the way I want it and they still asked again if i wanted it toasted. It was very frustrating indeed

Go to QuickChek. Their computerized touch system disallows f$ckups. Plus, they have better bread, use better ingredients, add more meat and cheese than Subway... about double actually. I can get a 12" sub for $5. I hate those annoying little Subway cheese triangles and just about all of their deli meats are turkey-based. Jared can eat that trash if he wants to.

I don't eat at subway very often (try to avoid as much as possible) but we have limited deli options here. Ordering is definitely ridiculous but I seem to have the opposite experience. Instead of trying to give me all vegetables, they try to only give you that shredded lettuce and nothing else. I have to tell them each vegetable going on, make sure they add it and frequently ask for extra, extra, extra so I get more than two olives. They act like I'm killing them on the inside to request spinach instead of lettuce.

I'm a trash can, I'll eat anything in front of me and don't really care if they screw my order up because I order on such a whim that by the time I sit down to eat it I might be in the mood for something else.

BUT...

My father-in-law was a man of particular taste, and being a family physician he had certain standards of hygiene.

One afternoon we stopped into a Subway, I went through an order of some sandwich or another and waited as my FIL stood back from the counter a few feet, looking at the Sandwich Artist. It took me a few seconds to realize that he was watching her work without gloves, and she had no hairnet. I was entertained, and waited for him to decide on his next move. Eventually, without glancing my way he eased to the counter and started to order his sandwich. His expression did not change as he watched her put her hands on her dirty shirt between each topping, resting her palms on the her lower back while her fingertips seemed to tuck into the top of her shorts. I don't think any of her hairs fell into his food, I'm sure I would have seen it because I was watching for it and there is no way I would have missed the sound it surely would have made when it hit the counter. Maybe a "splat" sound, maybe a "slap" sound - there was enough greasy-looking product on her head that it made each strand look like the low-E string on my guitar. (Looked nice on her head, tho.)

She finished the sandwich, grabbed the knife to cut in in half, then it really looked like she wiped the corners of her mouth with the hand she used to hold the sandwich. Doc's face didn't change expression, but he did turn a few different shades of red. She asked him what he wanted to drink, he said "coke." (maybe pepsi, I can't remember which soda they carry, nor do I really care.) The fountain machine was behind the counter at this store, and the same gal that created his artistic sammich was filling his soda. While it was filling, she absentmindedly was staring out the front window, and scratched her thigh, which was at least a full 2 inches larger in diameter than the shorts it was stuffed in, with the inside ridge of the plastic soda cup lid!!! It took everything I had not to bust out laughing.

Doc paid, took his tray, moved two paces to the right and dumped the whole thing in the trash and walked out.

Me - I prolly woulda mowed through that sandwich in less than 2 minutes.

That was over 10 years ago, doc passed away 7 years ago and my wife JUST finally walked into a Subway again last year because the kids relentlessly needled her.

Beyond that episode, I've had no complaints about Subway. When I'm feeling extremely lazy and don't want to cook for the kids and the wife is working, it is a better option than pink slime and the kids like it. Once a month or so, maybe less -

I order every vegetable they have. Then I pick out the weird stuff like cucumber and eat that separately. I like to get my money's worth.

The green chili for $.50 option sounded great a couple weeks ago. Seven sh!ts in less than 3 hours later, I decided it wasn't.

For some reason every time i've tried to eat a subway sandwich I end up in the bathroom within a half an hour, maybe thats how Jared lost all that weight eating their crappy sandwiches. One of the few bright spots of living in the northeast is we have some great places to get much better sandwiches.

Bitching you cant get a good sandwich/service at Subway is like being shocked ya cant get a good burger at McDonalds . . . .

ReverseApacheMaster said:

I don't eat at subway very often (try to avoid as much as possible) but we have limited deli options here. Ordering is definitely ridiculous but I seem to have the opposite experience. Instead of trying to give me all vegetables, they try to only give you that shredded lettuce and nothing else. I have to tell them each vegetable going on, make sure they add it and frequently ask for extra, extra, extra so I get more than two olives. They act like I'm killing them on the inside to request spinach instead of lettuce.

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Haha, glad you aren't the only one that has noticed that. It pains them to put more than 3 shoe string slices of green pepper on a sandwich. How dare a customer question the quanity of toppings they receive!

I try and avoid Subway now. McAlisters, Jersey Mikes, Firehouse Subs, and hell, even Quiznos make a better sub. It might be a couple of bucks more, but it is well worth it, and you aren't hungry 2 hours later.

captwalt said:

.......,and they said I can have it any way I want. I said I wanted the sandwich in the picture, that is the way I want it and they still asked again if i wanted it toasted. It was very frustrating indeed

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Those pictures are for illustrative purposes only. There are no set cheese and veggies for each sandwich, so you can't expect employees to know what comes on it because that's left up to the individual customer to customize it how they want it. I always thought full customization of your sandwich was a good thing and the best thing subway has going for it. Some people don't understand how subway works and should probably never eat there.
All of that aside, I've had plenty of annoying experiences at subway as well.

I get what I pay for at Subway, sometimes its good. I ALWAYS order everything but lettuce and tomato.

Routinely they ask do you want this do you want that and I answer them. I also watch to make sure they don't put their hand in the lettuce for my sandwich.

I despise the hydroponically grown tomato, and the lettuce is just filler so your sandwich looks full. I would rather they fill up the sandwich with the more flavorful veggies.

I agree that we need great customer service, yet at the end of the day we are talking about a sandwich. Ever wonder if you stress too much between what is advertised and what the sandwich maker is trained to do??? When i read these posts all i can hear is the business motto "Give the customer what they want"

If I want a perfect sandwich, I make it myself.

A dollar has as much worth as the person who earned it assigns to it

There are two Subways close to my work. One I frequent about once a week and my only complaint is they have no clue what "just a little mustard" means, so I no longer ask for mustard.

The other I have never stepped foot in again, in fact the incident turned me off to all Subways for months. I was standing in a fairly long line, it was lunch time and the workers were really put to task but working quickly. I was watching this one guy work and thought to myself "this guy has a great work ethic". But then I noticed a tiny drop of snot start to form on his nose as he worked over the sandwiches.

It was like watching a train wreck and I couldn't look away - just waited for him to wipe his nose, wash his hands and get back to work. But no, he just kept working and the snot ball dropped into somebody's sandwich. I turned and walked away and have never returned in the last 4 years.

I once had a girlfriend of two years break up with me over a subway sandwich. True story.

jafo28 said:

For some reason every time i've tried to eat a subway sandwich I end up in the bathroom within a half an hour, maybe thats how Jared lost all that weight eating their crappy sandwiches. One of the few bright spots of living in the northeast is we have some great places to get much better sandwiches.

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I thought it was just me...

captwalt said:

I have been holding this in for years, but you have awoke the beast

The ad campaign for their Big Hot Pastrami, which was niether big nor hot and im still questioning if it was pastrami, piqued my interest so I bit. On three seperate occasions, at three seperate stores I ordered it expedcting to get something similar to the one in the ad. I ordered and selected my bread then I was asked what cheese? I said I want the exact sandwich in the picture. They said what kind of cheese would I like I asked what cheese it comes with in the picture, they said I can have any cheese I want, so I gave up and asked for swiss. then on to the toppings I said I want the exact sandwich in the picture that was right behind them. The one they sell and invented and advertised as a big hot pastrami. The asked if I wanted lettuce, I asked if it came with lettuce, they said I can heve anything. Again I asked for the sandwich in the picture. The final straw was when they asked me, on all three occasions if I wanted it toasted. A big HOT pastrami! toasted? I asked if it would still be a big HOT pastrami if it wasn't toasted and they said I can have it any way I want. I said I wanted the sandwich in the picture, that is the way I want it and they still asked again if i wanted it toasted. It was very frustrating indeed

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Haha, it's exactly the same here in Ireland in Subway.
Each sandwich is listed on the menu with contents, I like the look of what I see, I ask for whichever sandwich it is because I like what's listed on it, then they ask me what I want on it.
It drives me up the wall, if I wanted to list off each ingredient I would not ask for the one on the menu, I'd list off the ingredients.

I don't go to subway much.

Hold the pickles hold the lettuce special orders don't upset us.. Oh, wrong thread.

Whining and drama over ordering a sandwich at a cheap fast food restaurant, sounds like someone needs to add a few levels of complexity to their life.

Dan said:

There are two Subways close to my work. One I frequent about once a week and my only complaint is they have no clue what "just a little mustard" means, so I no longer ask for mustard.

The other I have never stepped foot in again, in fact the incident turned me off to all Subways for months. I was standing in a fairly long line, it was lunch time and the workers were really put to task but working quickly. I was watching this one guy work and thought to myself "this guy has a great work ethic". But then I noticed a tiny drop of snot start to form on his nose as he worked over the sandwiches.

It was like watching a train wreck and I couldn't look away - just waited for him to wipe his nose, wash his hands and get back to work. But no, he just kept working and the snot ball dropped into somebody's sandwich. I turned and walked away and have never returned in the last 4 years.

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I just threw up a little..

Thing is if I thought of those things I would never eat out. I often wonder how much sweat has fallen into food back in those hot kitchens, especially a hot food truck in summer.

I will never forget the story a guy told me once. He and a friend ordered sandwiches and were eating them. His freind stopped eating, spit the food out and pulled a long hair out of his throat. Of course he was done with the sandwich...so my friend ate it.

I have never been to a Subway because of the way it was explained to me you order, maybe that has changed. But I have eaten food from there when guys at work go pick up.

I always got a veggie sandwich with jalapenos and loved it. Could never find a better veggie sandwich.

I don't like the cafateria places either. Walked into a new Mexican joint (Moe's) and when I got in it was like JR High school, you got a tray and went to each station to order. I walked out. If I am going to sit at a table to eat (unless a pizza joint maybe) I want to be served.

Man, what is with your guys? I don't think I've ever had a problem at Subway. Start with a basic sub with your choice of bread and then just tell them what additional items you want on it. Maybe a bit of ranch and some salt and pepper. It's not difficult and I've never experienced any issues with them putting it together. Maybe there is a Nationality or Language barrier?

Disclaimer: I've never been to what many would call a "real" deli, and frankly I don't have any desire to go out of my way to visit one. Because it would be a LONG distance to travel, or too much hassle to try and find one close enough to make the attempt. That said, you can see how I am not comparing the quality of the actual sandwich, merely the quality of the preparation.

If i have to do the chain thing Jimmy Johns FTW!

Homer, if a city boy like me can enjoy heading out to Preque Isle to fish and boat and hunt with my father-in-law, I guarantee you if you were out here in New York for a couple days you'd have an epic time. You wouldnt be the first I've enlightened to the wonders of corned beef and street cart souvlaki...

im sure i was overreacting but, If an establishment advertises something to get you in the door I expect them to be able to produce it for me. For example a big hot pastrami, they always have pastrami they can always toadt it so why the advertising campaign with a name of a sandwich that means nothing. It is their sandwich I dont want to tell them how to make it. I understand them making sandwiches to order and how a customer wants it but this is out of line. Imagine how difficult your life would be if this was everyones bussiness model.

Ultimately what it all comes down to is in a place where you have a lot of folks bunched in together, even a place where most people are from similar backgrounds (ie. NOT New York), you are going to get a zillion different personalities. Some of these personalities will mesh well, others wont. I see it as a constant source of entertainment, even when I am annoyed. When I went to Galway in college and was suffering from an epic hangover, I ordered coffee with cream. They brought me out a cup of black coffee, and a dish of whipped cream with a spoon. I love that sort of thing, even though I was vaguely annoyed at the time (coffee is key for my hangovers).

No one thinks that when I complain that my wife likes the house colder than I do (or anyone else who isnt a penguin) I am looking for a solution or I have legitimate disdain for her, do you? I just kvetch because its funny to me, and I hope to others.

Subway is for people who don't live close to a Jersey Mikes...


_

Homercidal said:

Man, what is with your guys? I don't think I've ever had a problem at Subway. Start with a basic sub with your choice of bread and then just tell them what additional items you want on it. Maybe a bit of ranch and some salt and pepper. It's not difficult and I've never experienced any issues with them putting it together. Maybe there is a Nationality or Language barrier?

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No nationality or language barrier in my experience. In my area (predominately white suburbs) they are stocked with white suburban teens. They just seem to find the dumbest kids in the area.

CreamyGoodness said:

Homer, if a city boy like me can enjoy heading out to Preque Isle to fish and boat and hunt with my father-in-law, I guarantee you if you were out here in New York for a couple days you'd have an epic time. You wouldnt be the first I've enlightened to the wonders of corned beef and street cart souvlaki...

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You may be right. At least about the food. Other than that I can't see any reason why I'd want to be in the city.

The hunting and fishing at Presque Isle sounds like a good time though!

I must confess, I had a rather bad experience at Subway recently that I forgot about. We stopped in Cadillac for a bite and there were 2 ladies (older ladies, not teens) working behind the counter. There was a decent line of about 8 people waiting. One lady was taking orders and making subs while the other lady spent about 10 minutes refilling EVERYTHING. She couldn't stop refiling to help out until everything was topped off.

On the plus side, it was POURING outside, so we were in no hurry to leave.