Who are the Facebook holdouts and why?

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wildwest450 said:
A lotta bashing on here by people who don't know much about facebook. I'm 41, I demand massive privacy, I don't care for people much, and I have an account.

All stupid apps, people comments and the like can be blocked. I ONLY friend out of state relatives(the ones I care about) and a few close friends, that's it. I could care less about other's feelings or the long line of friends request.

It only suck's if you don't know how to use it.
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It's pretty cool, actually, I've gotten to know a few cousins that I've only met IRL three or four times. It's also cool for quick, informal communications with friends locally ("anyone able to watch the kids for us Saturday night, we'll return the favor?"). I don't send out many friend requests, I don't try and track down every person that was in my seventh grade math class (the few people who I've friended from high school, I tend to talk to the least). Keep in touch with a few high school buddies that otherwise I'd probably talk to once every five years.
 
cheezydemon3 said:
If you were to be a heartless dick and just allow people who are close and who you can trust, it might be OK.
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This is pretty much me. And if anyone starts taking it too seriously or gets butt hurt over something I post I just unfriend and block them. I even blocked my mother.
 
the_bird said:
It's pretty cool, actually, I've gotten to know a few cousins that I've only met IRL three or four times. It's also cool for quick, informal communications with friends locally ("anyone able to watch the kids for us Saturday night, we'll return the favor?"). I don't send out many friend requests, I don't try and track down every person that was in my seventh grade math class (the few people who I've friended from high school, I tend to talk to the least). Keep in touch with a few high school buddies that otherwise I'd probably talk to once every five years.
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Exactly, it's like everything else in life, it's only irritating if you let it be.
 
the_bird said:
It's pretty cool, actually, I've gotten to know a few cousins that I've only met IRL three or four times. It's also cool for quick, informal communications with friends locally ("anyone able to watch the kids for us Saturday night, we'll return the favor?"). I don't send out many friend requests, I don't try and track down every person that was in my seventh grade math class (the few people who I've friended from high school, I tend to talk to the least). Keep in touch with a few high school buddies that otherwise I'd probably talk to once every five years.
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Exactly - that's how I use it and its been great.
 
I'd say out of all my male friends, only a few have facebook accounts. All of their wives do though. I'm the same way. Unlike my wife, Facebook just doesn't interest me. I'm not really holding out, I'd just never use it. I'd much rather spend my time on here talking about beer with complete strangers though.
 
I was on it for a month or so. Got really tired of the utterly useless drivel people posted. For the most part, reasonable intelligent people who thought that I might care that they are going to the store, etc. Hundreds of junk posts per interesting one. Waste of time digging through the junk.

LinkedIn is a bit better, but I don't check that more than once a month.
 
I opened a facebook account a few years ago so I could see some pictures someone posted that I knew. However, I have never posted to facebook or myspace, and I doubt that I ever will. If people need to know what I am doing they can call me - though I rarely answer my phone. :D
 
Bobby_M said:
Snubbing social media is the new pseudo-virtuous "I don't even own a TV". Think about how much cooler it would be to cancel the internet service altogether.
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Maybe I'm PUI (It is Thanksgiving, after all!) but your response elevates FB's "Necessity quotient" higher than I do. I communicate by talk, email, etc. all day without the help of FB. I can see it's aid in reaching out via the web to those outside of your normal circles, school chums, family, ex-colleauges, etc. long lost if that was your goal. SWMBO (a trend I'm noticing in this thread) uses it to see the latest pix of our grandson which is fine. I have no quarrel with those who use it as a door to other areas of their life. My beef life lies with those who LIVE on the bloody site! If you're that diserous of talking to them, call!....or text :D
 
No, no, don't get me wrong. I don't think of facebook or any one particular social media outlet as this decade's gift to the masses by any means. It's a tool, a portion of the overall internet offering to stay connected. I get that some people don't like it and don't see the value, but I don't see anything cool about overtly trashing people who like it.
 
Bobby_M said:
No, no, don't get me wrong. I don't think of facebook or any one particular social media outlet as this decade's gift to the masses by any means. It's a tool, a portion of the overall internet offering to stay connected. I get that some people don't like it and don't see the value, but I don't see anything cool about overtly trashing people who like it.
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Bobby,
I didn't start this thread to trash FBers, I truly wanted to know who was opting out as I am and why. I think it can be truly useful for staying in touch with friends and family and is almost a vital component of a modern business approach. I just think people take it way too far, get way too absorbed, and I don't feel like the security protocols are strong enough.

For example, if I post a pic on my page, even with the strongest privacy settings, a friend can copy that pic and post it elsewhere that is not as secure. You lose control of what you post. And if you read my earlier posts, my objection has more to do with the fact that I work as a professional in the mental health field. Soon I will have a license to protect and even things I do now can negatively affect my future in the field. Even crap other people post about me can affect me. I just don't think too many people realize the damage they can do to their futures by posting dumb **** online.
 
TANSTAAFB said:
For example, if I post a pic on my page, even with the strongest privacy settings, a friend can copy that pic and post it elsewhere that is not as secure.
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That is a function of friend choice, not the fault of Facebook. You can go to a party and find yourself in a picture that ends up on many other types of electronic media without your permission. Again, a function of who you choose to associate with.

I've been an active participant on Facebook since going back to college 2 years ago and realizing that it would help me contact people in my classes for homework, assignments, etc. It turned into a way to stay in touch with my too-big Italian family...

Facebook is great for what it provides, it's how you choose to use it that makes the difference.

Honestly, this site is no different. A few members have put up far worse pictures on this site than Facebook would ever allow...
 
I don't have an account. I prefer to be in stealth mode but mainly I couldn't be bothered.
A freind of mine got a new GF. Every day he posted a dear diary account of the day :"Im even more in love today than yesterday...." etc. Yes, EVERY day. I can puke just thinking about it.
What suprised me more than him doing this was that he was arrogant enought to beleive anyone wanted to read it.
 
I can call my friends, or, God forbid, SEE them in real life. I don't have time for Farmville or poking strangers online. But above all: NEVER NEVER NEVER document anything that may get you in trouble. Case in point:

A college professor wanted to know what the deal is with Facebook and signed up. He then came back to the class and had to explain to them that as adults they probably shouldn't have pictures of themselves nude, near nude, or snorting anything on their publicly visible photos.
 
One thing that hasn't been mentioned yet is the use of social networking sites as a source for news and information.

Twitter is especially good for getting information before it's reported anywhere else. A great example is sports news. Most analysts and reporters will post quick updates to their twitter before taking the time to write a full article.

Facebook is pretty good as well for getting additional information about a company. Things like pictures, announcements, and even sometimes videos will usually be on a company's Facebook page. A lot of times these won't be on the official web page. The thread about Boston Beer Company responding directly to a question asked with a video is a good example of this.
 
Clann said:
IMHO if you feel the need to post stuff on those places to me its pure VANITY. Look at me!! Who cares if your dog jumped or your baby made a doody. Mind your own business. :mug:
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JeffB said:
I don't because my 'social media' is conducted face to face :)
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I agree with you two whole heartedly. We are spread way to thin these days, and spend less time with those closest to us. If it is important to me, I will find out some how email, phone call, HBT:D.

My wife has a facetube account, and she has told me some of the stuff that has been posted on there. Seems to me lots of mindless dribble, very little substance, kinda like my post:)
Maybe it comes down to the type of person you are- I prefer to have a few close friends, while others may prefer to have many not so close friends???
Just spit ballin' here.
 
FB will eat your brain. Just like they said TV would...now look what's happened!
 
Why do people mix up the names of various social networks? Been used a lot in this thread. Is that something that is considered witty and cool? I guess I'm WAAAAAYYYYYYY behind the times on this new comedic method of using made up words...
 
I think I have a Facebook acct. I made it because it was the only way to track down my ex wife. I've never touched it other than that and I got a buncha emails about it being hacked and used for unapproved purposes or something like that. Why on earth would people use something so easy to hack for posting personal info. I've even heard of thiefs using Facebook to tell when people will be out of the house so they know when to break in. I guess I just think if I want somebody to know something I'll tell them not post it up for everyone in the world to see.
 
I wrote this during my transition out of facebook. I'm happy to say that I'm officially facebook free for 3 years now:




The facebook is harmful because:

1) It increases the desire for approval by others. Any time we depend on others for affirmation, we are enslaved. This is, by far, the most harmful desire in society. While I admit, a certain level of vanity exists at all times, the facebook amplifies and solidifies this human characteristic.

2) increased surveillance by others leads to a more normalized society. By being watched, and watching others, you internalize behaviors that do not deviate from the norm. Such a transparency inevitably leads to the elimination of what is considered "abnormal' by the herd-like masses

3) digital pictures and information do not degrade, and so now this personal information about you will survive you for an eternity. No longer can we "rest in peace" in practical obscurity, with a quaint headstone above our grave, now our every lame remark on somebody's wall will serve to eulogize us as jack asses for all our progeny to witness.

4) trivializes human interaction- when is the last time you engaged in meaningful discourse via somebody's wall? In other words, while quantity of friends is increased, quality is decreased.

6) ever since AIM, facebook, and others have infiltrated our social lives, we have never questioned the potential harm of such institutions. The fact that we don't even question these things points out the insiduous and pervasive nature of the beast. The worst part about being indoctrinated is that you dont know you are indoctrinated. (arguably this is also the best part)

7) Facebook alters the way we orient ourselves to the world, and the way in which we define ourselves. Ever thought of the statement, "i should sooo put that in my profile" And I find it hard to believe that somebody's real personality can fit on a facebook page. Maybe the facebook is causing our personalities to be just like facebook pages...short, cute, and simple.

8) As recently exhibited by my pathetic attempt at deactivating facebook, it's near impossible to leave. I lasted for six weeks until I realized that I simply had no friends in real life. All of my friends were interacting on facebook (and AIM), and in order to preserve any inkling of a social life, I had to re-join. The fact that my social life was noticeably effected by deactivating facebook scares me, and I think it is a viable criticism in itself.

9) Facebook forcefully sends you emails about invitations, confirmations, wall stuff, etc. YOU CANNOT TURN THIS FEATURE OFF (believe me, I tried). This is not a coincidence, or a bug in the system, this is a deliberate attempt to keep you hooked on the site. I don't appreciate being treated like a mindless consumer, do you?

10) its a huge waste of time
 
Meh. I think people take Facebook too seriously. I mean, the one thing I hate is that I don't trust Mark Zuckerburg as far as I could kick him.

But, I get to see pics of and hear what my sister's kids are doing - otherwise, I see them once a year, at most. I get to see what my cousin down in Texas is doing - dude I've only met IRL two or three times (weddings and funerals), but he's a really cool guy. I see what my best friend from high school is up to. I get updates from my brother-in-law, who just moved to the Netherlands. I see what Walker and Flyangler and Yooper and other HBT buds are brewing up, from all around the country.

Life is global. Family is global. Friends are global. I *want* to have connections to friends and family outside of the immediate half-hour radius in Berkshire county.

Even those people, I see what they're up to, we use it to make quick conversation during the day. I have one friend that's got a phenomenal eye behind the camera, I love seeing the pictures she posts of the area. I'd never see that stuff otherwise, I'd probably never know of this talent she has.

Other local people, people that I kind of knew from parties and whatnot, I've gotten to know a lot better through talking on Facebook. People that I've become pretty close to, that otherwise I might mingle with once or twice a year at a party.

Is some of it inane? Sure. People who never post anything interesting... you hide them.

Do people waste way too much time playing games on there? Sure, but I don't - and I hide all of the notifications.

The distrust of Facebook's privacy - I get that.

The hate for Facebook as some destroyer of our society? I couldn't be more in disagreement with. My connections with people IRL have grown stronger through simple, frequent interactions.
 
Sounds like the benefits or consequences derived from the tool are directly correlated to the knowledge and intent of the user. Reading through these posts has been, at times, illuminating, frustrating, annoying, interesting... I choose not to participate at this time mainly for professional and privacy reasons. I also feel at times that I am missing some of what is going on in the lives of my widely dispersed friends and family. Kudos to those who effectively use it that way. Sorry for those whose lives are eclipsed by it.

However, I would have lost touch with those people if facebook never existed. I truly feel that some relationships were not meant to last a lifetime, and no facebook allows me to leave some things in the past...like freakin high school!!! I don't need to talk to those people!

Again, this was not a facebook bashing thread, I truly wanted to gather information. I am open to changing my mind, but as of now I don't see the benefits outweighing the risk for me, right now, in my situation...not a generalized statement about life, the universe, and facebook.
 
alcibiades said:
9) Facebook forcefully sends you emails about invitations, confirmations, wall stuff, etc. YOU CANNOT TURN THIS FEATURE OFF (believe me, I tried). This is not a coincidence, or a bug in the system, this is a deliberate attempt to keep you hooked on the site. I don't appreciate being treated like a mindless consumer, do you?
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Not anymore.
 
FB is a good way to keep in contact with people I don't really intent to actually keep in contact with. Co-workers, former co-workers, high school classmates, etc. that I wouldn't otherwise talk to go into FB. It's nice to see people I used to know have kids, get married, make fools of themselves, etc. As a future lawyer having access to people that kinda know me or used to know me is a potential client base that I can't give up.

Most of the people I actually talk to on a frequent basis are on my FB but don't really post. I'm 29, and most people in my life are close to my age, and myspace was all the rage when I was finishing college so I appreciate the social networking but I'm not obsessive about it. It's something to look at when I get bored in class. It's pretty funny to see people in class posting about how bored they are. I'm pretty careful about what I post because even though I keep everything as private as it gets you would be surprised by how easily that stuff leaks out.

I find FB comedic to an extent. I have a few people I keep on because their postings are total LOL. Some people take it too far. Like tweeting, it can easily be excessive attention-seeking and feeds a non-existent sense of self-importance. I mean really, do you call anybody after you finish laundry to tell them you just finished? Probably not. So why do you need to post it online for many people to read it? Those people get removed from my friends list very quickly. It's why I don't get into tweeting. I get why people do it though...
 
My 17 year old daughter doesn't have a FB page. Her reason is that she knows her biological father and all his family are on there and she doesn't really want that much contact with them, but doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by refusing to "friend" then. So she just avoids the whole can of worms by not having a page.

My whole family is on FB and it's a great way to keep in touch with each other and what's going on in our lives.
 
ChshreCat said:
My 17 year old daughter doesn't have a FB page. Her reason is that she knows her biological father and all his family are on there and she doesn't really want that much contact with them, but doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by refusing to "friend" then.
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heh, My daughter lists my wife as her mother on FB......And doesn't care if her real mum sees it. I guess she has all her emotional ducks in a row now. ;)
 
Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:
heh, My daughter lists my wife as her mother on FB......And doesn't care if her real mum sees it. I guess she has all her emotional ducks in a row now. ;)
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Oh, my daughter does too. It's not so much the sperm donor. She's pretty much written him off. It's his parents that she has a good relationship with and doesn't want to start problems with.
 
I have facebook but I plan on deleting it as soon as I graduate and get married. Right now I need it to communicate with people as I'm getting married in six months. As soon as the wedding is over I'm deleting my account. There are too many people on there that I want to delete but don't want to deal with the bs that will come with getting rid of them. So, like ChshreCat's daughter, I'm just not going to have an account. I don't want people to know what I'm doing after graduation.
 
Just delete 'em. Who gives a **** what they think. No wonder the world is so messed up these days - we've turned into a bunch of pansies who are afraid to hurt people's feelings by defriending them on teh facebook. ;)
 
It's pretty easy to hide people from your news feeds and to not let them see your status updates. Facebook is designed quite well for the passively aggressive.
 
I joined a couple months ago. I thinks it's great. I've got aboot 30 cousins on my that I keep in touch with. It also I put me in contact with a gaggle of friends from college.

As stated earlier, if you spend some time in the settings section, you can clamp your info pretty tight.

The one person I de-friended I send a note saying they post too much stuff and it clutters up my page. This was before I realized I could just block them.
 
Why do people think they can post a picture of you on Facebook, without your permission? How is it OK that my cousin comes over for thanksgiving dinner, takes pictures all over the place, and posts them ALL on facebook???

My good friends have earned the right to see the inside of my home. In a sense, I have bought intimacy with my good friends by using private information as the "currency" of exchange.

If my private life is put on facebook without my consent (i dont even have a facebook account), it cheapens the value of that private information when I want to grant it to close friends.
 

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