Chili Recipe

So my girlfriend enlisted my help today in making a batch of chili for a cookoff next week. Upon hearing this (and hearing the fact that I'd be able to come along as well), my evil sadistic bastard side awoke, and I decided I wanted to make the hottest chili I possibly could.

When I say "hot", I mean HOT! I want people's eyes tearing up at the first whiff. I want to see people's tongues melting when they take the first bite. I don't want some wimpy, New York City knockoff chili made for little old ladies to enjoy after Sunday church. I want chili that tastes like the bubbling, molten lava from the fieriest pits of Hell! I want chili that will bring forth the full power of Hephaestus upon their unworthy souls! I want the poor, damned souls brave or foolish enough to eat this chili to cry out in pain as their innards are ravaged by flame, and the clouds of gas afterwards to blot out the very sun!

Any suggestions?

EDIT: I also have a couple bottles of porter available to add in, should the need arise.

While this won't burn your tastebuds (although you can kick it up if you want), but my chili recipe has won me many awards and has done the same for countless others all across the country. I posted it on my website to share with others: Chili recipe.

Adding beer to the marinade is good, I've done that before many times.

As much as it's fun to make really hot chili, just keep in mind that a hot chili won't win a competition. So if winning is your goal, anything that makes a judge's mouth burn too much won't get you anywhere. If you don't care about winning, go for it. Just some friendly chili cooking advice.

Also, don't make a lot of it. If it's going to be that hot, people won't eat a lot of it. Don't want to be tossing out a gallon of ingredients.

Seeds are the key, habenero, serrano, etc. Also if you're going to use commercial hot sauces, be careful, because many of these have vinegar in them that (in my opinion) needs to be cooked out. Cayenne powder is a great way to add heat, but for the sphincter puckering effect you're talking about, you'll want to source good (whole) dried chiles, chop them, toast them, seeds and all, and grind them to a powder (in a grinder that you can clean very well, don't do this in your coffee grinder. Not how you want to wake up in the morning). Good luck, and I pray for your digestive tract.

I usually use fresh Habanero, home-smoked Jalapeños, and if I really feel the need to blow my balloon knot out I also add in a minced up dried Bhut Jolokia. I love the flavor you get from fresh peppers, My Bhut Jolokias are home grown and I had to dry them so I wouldnt waste them before they went bad.

Forget being hot for hot sakes, how bout you help her WIN, instead of playing a childish game.

Here is the one that I won a cookoff at work with https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/beer-chili-recipe-156592/#post2339903 It's complicated, uses four different meats, but it is worth it. And it is spicy in flavor but not flaming hot.

And the rest of the thread is hilarious https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/beer-chili-recipe-156592/

Revvy said:

Forget being hot for hot sakes, how bout you help her WIN, instead of playing a childish game.

Here is the one that I won a cookoff at work with https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/beer-chili-recipe-156592/#post2339903 It's complicated, uses four different meats, but it is worth it. And it is spicy in flavor but not flaming hot.

And the rest of the thread is hilarious https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/beer-chili-recipe-156592/

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that looks very tasty Revvy!

Intentionally sending people to the first aid tent at a competition is a BAD IDEA.
It is a sure way to never get invited back.

Years ago, I had a habanero chili that was not terribly hot, but hotter than the norm.
word spread that it was really hot... the booth and the chili was avoided.

Scored well with judges, failed peoples choice.

Revvy's recipe is a good start. I use the chocolate and chorizo in my recipe as well.

good luck with the competition.

marubozo said:

While this won't burn your tastebuds (although you can kick it up if you want), but my chili recipe has won me many awards and has done the same for countless others all across the country. I posted it on my website to share with others: Chili recipe.

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I made this yesterday. I think I'm replacing my usual recipe with this. Very good! Thanks for sharing it.

TMet said:

I made this yesterday. I think I'm replacing my usual recipe with this. Very good! Thanks for sharing it.

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Hey, thanks! Glad it has served somebody else well.

marubozo said:

Hey, thanks! Glad it has served somebody else well.

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Too bad you don't have an award winning brown ale to go with it.

Yes, bozo's chili recipe is really good. I'd go so far as to call it epic!