You know you're a home brewer when?

... On the radio commercial "Oh, Oh, O'Reilly auto parts"

and all I really hear is " Oh, Oh ,Oh Really? Rhino Farts?

Yeah I know... I'm weird

Whole Foods has a 20% off all beer promotion and you grab $75 woth of expensive beers. And frown on people grabbing stuff that is frequently on sale.

When both fermenters are full, one close to bottling, you've got plenty of grains left in storage to brew something, but you've got one more complicated old style to brew for a book/article to do first. What to do? What to do? Ain't it fun having these sort of problems?

When all you can think about is the batch that hadn't started fermenting yet even though you pitched a day and a half ago....

Been there a year or two ago. Yeast can be stubborn lil critters sometimes. Makes me wonder if they're related to donkey?

Give her a little shake

If you shake'r more than twice, you're playing with it. When you see an old poster advertising Savage ale from the saloon Hickok was shot in & decide to try & reproduce it.

When the first thing you install on a new phone and tablet are HBT.
When you make your daughter cry since you installed HBT on the tablet she thinks is hers.

SupervisingChildren said:

When the first thing you install on a new phone and tablet are HBT.
When you make your daughter cry since you installed HBT on the tablet she thinks is hers.

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Give her a little shake...no, wait, DON'T do that!

unionrdr said:

Been there a year or two ago. Yeast can be stubborn lil critters sometimes. Makes me wonder if they're related to donkey?

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Pissing me off. Pitched the
Oher half the packet (its 3 gallons and low OG so it should have been fine)

wbarber69 said:

Give her a little shake

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Did that too... Guess I'll pitch another pack if I don't see anything by bedtime (itll be 50+ hours at that point ) or rack another bath and pitch half that cake.

Rdwhahb

You have more refrigeration dedicated to beer than food.

Your food fridges have things from 1993 in them but your beer fridges sparkle.

You know you are a homebrewer when you are on a flight and the cloud tops look like a pellicle.

When your watching Alvin and the Chipmunks and you think Dave's refrigerator would make an AWESOME kegorator!!

When the dishwasher gets your glasses plenty clean enough to drink water out of but you need to wash your pint glasses by hand just to be sure they are clean enough for your beer.

When you get pissed at a batch of beer for getting a lower hydrometer reading than expected (meaning I can't bottle and can't brew again until its ready)

...but then immediately forgive the beer after trying the sample because its fvkn delicious

You're drinking a perfectly acceptable commercial lager and your first thought is that you can't reuse the bottle because it has a short and thin edge.

...your vacation plans revolve around whether or not there is a craft brewery nearby.

When the airlock has been bottomed out for nearly a week, but the day's FG sample still has funk suspended in it, gravity is already 2 points lower than BS2 estimate, but otherwise looks & tastes ok.

GHBWNY said:

...your vacation plans revolve around whether or not there is a craft brewery nearby.

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This

GHBWNY said:

...your vacation plans revolve around whether or not there is a craft brewery nearby.

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just booked ours*, didn't even have to look for local craft breweries. with there now being more breweries in the US than at any time in our history, the chances of any vacation spot having a craft brewery nearby is pretty darn good.

you do make a good point tho, I'd say the plans have to revolve around whether the local breweries are any good and how many you can visit in the time you have in the area

*Ft Lauderdale, FL. I figure there's gotta be one or two around.

I'll bet there's more now, but last time I was there (Ft. Lauterdale -- pushing 8 years now) the only thing going was a Hops restaurant....

Funky Buddha, LauderAle and Hollywood Brewery

I'm sure we can find one or two more between the ocean and the swamp

and 8 years ago all we had here in Loudoun County, VA was Sweetwater Tavern (not to be confused with Sweetwater Brewing).

Think we have 15 or more now, with another 2 coming online soon. plus another distillery

When your son moves out on his own, and you make his room into a tap room cause it has a door to the back yard.

You contemplate the challenges of making your regular basement into a walk-out basement in order to facilitate moving equipment in and out easier...and decide it might be totally worth it!

When your wife agrees to spend your, four year late, honeymoon touring the breweries of Denver and says, "I better start drinking more so that I can hang." (Keeping this one!!)

The highlight of your day is pouring a beer that was chill hazed yesterday, and finding it completely cleared today.

When buy a new house because it has a dedicated brewing room!

Cheers
Jay

When you are dishwasher shopping and base your decision on how many beer bottles each model can accommodate.

NCSU_Brewer said:

When you are dishwasher shopping and base your decision on how many beer bottles each model can accommodate.

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Mine will be whether is can accommodate my PicoBrew step filter... And other misc gear... Oh and I guess the giant dinner plates.

When you find a way to brew one handed. Because you cut a tendon and can't use your left for six weeks. And there's no way you're waiting that long to brew.

JohnSand said:

When you find a way to brew one handed. Because you cut a tendon and can't use your left for six weeks. And there's no way you're waiting that long to brew.

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I lost most of the use of my left hand about 2 years before I started brewing, I wouldn't know any other way.:rockin:

JohnSand said:

When you find a way to brew one handed. Because you cut a tendon and can't use your left for six weeks. And there's no way you're waiting that long to brew.

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I always try to keep 6 months of homebrew in inventory... Just in case of injury. Yeah, I was a Boy Scout!! Be prepared!

Kirkwooder said:

I lost most of the use of my left hand about 2 years before I started brewing, I wouldn't know any other way.:rockin:

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Kirkwooder know the "right" way to brew! way to go man!! Livin life to the fullest. I admire your spirit..

JohnSand said:

When you find a way to brew one handed. Because you cut a tendon and can't use your left for six weeks. And there's no way you're waiting that long to brew.

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Only if you cut it breaking a glass carboy and are badass enough to keep using them.

No, I haven't broken a carboy. I stuck a knife through my little finger into my ring finger. Then I had to bandage it and row back to shore, so, slightly badass.
Kirk is still king though. I managed by doing a half batch of extract and grains. Nothing to heavy to lift one hand. I'm guessing he uses a pump, or gravity, instead of lifting full pots. Either way, I'm impressed.

JohnSand said:

No, I haven't broken a carboy. I stuck a knife through my little finger into my ring finger. Then I had to bandage it and row back to shore, so, slightly badass.
Kirk is still king though. I managed by doing a half batch of extract and grains. Nothing to heavy to lift one hand. I'm guessing he uses a pump, or gravity, instead of lifting full pots. Either way, I'm impressed.

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I actually brew a lot of 2 1/2 or 3 gallon batches, or more truthfully I split 5 and 6 gallon batches between 2 pots so that I can handle them. I have a rope and pulley set up I use to lift some stuff, and learned quickly that gravity is your friend.

I really don't see brewing with one hand as that big a deal, like I said I've never done it any other way, now zipping up my pants on the other hand............ and wall mounted bottle openers are almost a must.

Your camelback water tastes like hops because they share the same freezer when not in use. Not the worst thing in the world.

You drive past a wheat field every day on the way to work, and wonder how much you could harvest before you got caught.

1977Brewer said:

You drive past a wheat field every day on the way to work, and wonder how much you could harvest before you got caught.

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Probably enough for a 5 gal batch