Does SWMBO fetch beer for you?

So I've been knocking a few back and ask the missus to grab me one while she's up. She promptly bellers for one of the little vampires to perform the task. It got me to thinking. I believe that I fetch for her far more often than she fetches for me. The really pathetic part is that she really doesn't drink that much and even when she does, the odds of me 'getting any', aren't all that enhanced. So I'm not motivated by pumping them into her so that I can pump it into her.

Anyone have a little lady that toddles off to grab a coolie for you? I suppose I should be grateful that she doesn't whine about consumption. Maybe you just can't have it all...

Aren't the concepts of "SWMBO" and "fetch me a beer, woman!" somehow, well, contradictory?

Mine goes and gets me beer. Every time. And truth be told, I haven't been as nice to her lately as I should be. Lord knows I've tried, but it ain't easy... and yet she toodles off to the kitchen and brings me a cold bottle of homebrew or light-colored beer, or a room temp dark beer (we both prefer the darke doppelbocks and stouts warm). She cooks me meals everytime I'm there too. And I really have no idea why.

I think I'm the luckiest guy alive.



Oh and did I mention she has big boobs too?

i wouldn't want her to.
then she will figure out how much i am drinking!

rod said:

i wouldn't want her to.
then she will figure out how much i am drinking!

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Oooh. Good point.

My wife does not have a problem fetching me a beer. It's easy for her since she is most likely already standing by the tap!

All you have to do to circumvent them knowing how much you are drinking is lie about the alcohol content.


My SWMBO thinks most of my beers are below 4%. I even made up fake little gravity charts for when she takes gravity readings....



[/kidding]

Toot said:

I even made up fake little gravity charts for when she takes gravity readings....

[/kidding]

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You're like a ..... beer McGyver.

Toot said:

I even made up fake little gravity charts for when she takes gravity readings....



[/kidding]

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The first thing you learn when you get married is - DON'T ASK THE WIFE ABOUT HER GRAVITY READINGS!

SWMBO only fetches me beer when there's company, and she's getting some for them, too. Reminds me of a little story.................
About 8 years ago, we decided we were done having kids, so I made the little trip to the urologist for the cut-and-burn. Well, of course my "boys" were black and blue all weekend. I spent the weekend in a lawn chair with a cold beer between my legs, a lukewarm beer in my hand, and it was SWMBO's job to keep the beers rotated. That lasted about an hour, maybe three beers' worth. We were camping, and she was busy yakking with friends, and I wound up getting my own all weekend

Sometimes I think my SWMBO is a beer (or Beam & Coke) pusher. She actually asks me if I'd like her to get me one more often than I actually want one!
:rockin:

LMAO.
seriously lads, what are you on!

I do it myself - she doesn't like beer and I'm anal about my glass selection and how it is poured. A poorly poured pint bothers me more than it should.

the_bird said:

Aren't the concepts of "SWMBO" and "fetch me a beer, woman!" somehow, well, contradictory?

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aye. i don't ask mine for beers, she'd shake them up on purpose.

Mine jumps right up and gets me one on command. Right after I've finished the vacuuming, laundry and cooking dinner.

Been with the same girl for 7 years, been married for 9 months. In the first 6 years there was not much beer fetching, but now there is. and she started cooking too.


I am lucky...

I have tried to train mine to have two bmc's ready for me when I finish mowing the lawn, but she doesn't seem to want to catch on. Let's see what happens this spring when the lawn starts growing again. I will give it another shot.

I'm not optimistic, though.

Toot said:

Oh and did I mention she has big boobs too?

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You ought to know by now that you can't go making a statement like this without photographic evidence!



Sheesh, what do you take us for?
:cross:

Ask her if she knows the definition of "sensuous":

Hey, woman, senceyouwas up, grab me a beer!

My wife will get me a beer and enjoy one too. Today we did another blind taste test between Weihenstephaner Hefeweiss bier and my Bavararian Hefeweiss.

She picked mine as the better tasting.

I am a lucky man!

Not even in my wildest dreams.

EdWort said:

My wife will get me a beer and enjoy one too. Today we did another blind taste test between Weihenstephaner Hefeweiss bier and my Bavararian Hefeweiss.

She picked mine as the better tasting.

I am a lucky man!

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You most definitly are lucky!!:rockin: Mine doesn't drink and would like me to quit but has accepted it by now. Once in a blue moon when she is shopping, she will pick me up a case of Bud Heavy.
That's kind of why I started brewing. She'll never know exactly how much I have around or how much I actually consume.

I'd ask mine to get one for me, but she'd either A) leave the cap on it (on purpose to irritate me) or 2) she'd give it to me in the BOTTLE! I mean really, who drinks beer straight out of the bottle and not out of a glass!!??! I don't understand how she can drink it straight from the bottle.

eviltwinofjoni said:

I'd ask mine to get one for me, but she'd either A) leave the cap on it (on purpose to irritate me) or 2) she'd give it to me in the BOTTLE! I mean really, who drinks beer straight out of the bottle and not out of a glass!!??! I don't understand how she can drink it straight from the bottle.

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At least it's glass. Would you rather she brought you a can???

eviltwinofjoni said:

I'd ask mine to get one for me, but she'd either A) leave the cap on it (on purpose to irritate me) or 2) she'd give it to me in the BOTTLE! I mean really, who drinks beer straight out of the bottle and not out of a glass!!??! I don't understand how she can drink it straight from the bottle.

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My SWMBO has the tappers down pat. She loves my German Cider (Apfelwein). Me?, I love my Stainless Perlicks. They Rock! :rockin:

Gambrinus said:

You most definitly are lucky!!:rockin: Mine doesn't drink and would like me to quit but has accepted it by now.

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I feel your pain. We've had a few friends in Germany where one person did not imbibe. It made for some uncomfortable parties. Good for you that it's accepted.

Indeed, I am a lucky man. SWMBO enjoys a cold brew, a nice red wine, or a mixed high ball as much as I do. She is more of a wine person, thus I made a keg of French Cabernet (next time I'll bottle).

Pfft.... If SWMBO fetched me a beer I'd wonder what the hell she was up to.

Seriously, we just got done hurling insults at each other over the last half hour. (not being malicious mind you, just how we are. ) Never mind that I probably was ridiculing her for the umpteen thousandth time for subjecting me to Soapnet on the family TV.

As for Fingers' OP, I do more fetching for her than she does for me, but I really don't want her getting me beers anyway for 2 reasons mentioned previously. 1, she won't keep track of the inventory, 2, won't get me the beer that I want. And odds are she wouldn't do it anyway.

FWIW, we've been married almost 4 years, been together almost 9.

Ize

Mine will get me one if she's headed that way. It's not degrading or demeaning to her to get her husband a beer, but I know some women (like my sister) who do feel that way. My wife is great: beautiful, smart, successful, and supportive. i HIT THE JJACKPOT.

Cheesefood said:

Mine will get me one if she's headed that way. It's not degrading or demeaning to her to get her husband a beer, but I know some women (like my sister) who do feel that way. My wife is great: beautiful, smart, successful, and supportive. i HIT THE JJACKPOT.

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You lucky bastid! Me Too!

She knows I'm a chauvinistic brewer, but she's happily married for 22 years to a real traditional gentleman.

Feminism is a bane to society.

I think mine can poor a better pint than me and she doesn't like the stuff. I do brew wine for her though.

SWMBO to fetch beer? I thought that's what the kids were for?

loop

loopmd said:

SWMBO to fetch beer? I thought that's what the kids were for?

loop

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That's exactly what SHE says. Oh well, I'll take it whomever brings it.

I've never asked her to fetch me a bottle, but have asked for her to pull a pint from the kegerator. She is not as impressed by the kegerator as I am, even if it has one of her favorites on tap (SNPA).

SWMBO does actually like beer (IPA'S mostly), but I still make wine for her as well. I consider myself lucky, but so is she.

Bernie Brewer said:

At least it's glass. Would you rather she brought you a can???

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Do they even make beer in cans anymore? The only bottles we have are the ones I fill (and mostly empty) myself

I'd have had better luck training my dog to pour me a beer with a perfect head then getting my former SWMBO to fetch me a beer or have anything to do with head....note the use of 'former'....I'll be more selective in my search for a future SWMBO, or maybe just find a dog with opposable thumbs...might be nicer.

edit: just re-read that, I didn't mean THAT you sickos!

We weren't thinking THAT, Colorado. Boy, what do you take us for?

So, what kind of dog are we talking about? One of those sexy cocker spaniel types like on 'Lady and the Tramp' or one of those slutty little toy poodles all fluffled up and haughty?

i have learned not to put my faith in her beer fetching skills upon command! so i have a kegarator in the basement, fridge in the kitchen (of course), and a fridge in the billiards room on the other side of the house! but if im lucky she will still grab me one even though im only bout 12' away! so proper beer cooling devices around the house is key!

eviltwinofjoni said:

Do they even make beer in cans anymore? The only bottles we have are the ones I fill (and mostly empty) myself

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My main store bought tipple comes in cans (375ml). also, stubbies (375ml) and long necks (800ml )

Maybe i'm one of the lucky ones. My girlfriend generally grabs me a beer whenever I'm too lazy to get off my butt. She even likes my beer!

Although she nearly always forgets that not all bottlecaps are twist-offs. Half the time i have to get up for the can opener.

I get all my own, but SWMBO doesn't drink much at all. Heck, I don't drink that much either... sorta.

Anyway, I have to get my own because it needs to be poured properly, the glass needs a good rinse, I can't decide which beer to drink unless I have the fridge door open and get to stare at them all for a minute, etc. Beer drinking is more than just the drinking part. It's an adventure!