Learning WEIRD crap from the Interwebz

marubozo said:

One thing the internet has failed to teach me is who let the dogs out? I mean really, who let them out?

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MeatyPortion said:

You want weird, go to Encyclopedia Dramatica and type anything into the search bar. There's your weird.

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MeatyPortion said:

You want weird, go to Encyclopedia Dramatica and type anything into the search bar. There's your weird.

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Tequila

Moar liek "ta-kill-ya", amirite? Invented by Mexico at least 100 years ago, tequila is made from the distilled essence of fermented burritos, mixed with the ball-sack sweat of hard working mexican men. It tastes like a mixture of paint thinner and sour milk, and drinking it often leads to projectile vomiting, explosive diarrhea, and sex with fat people. There is even a song about it.

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There are four kinds of rum: light, dark, spiced, and ******. Light rum is for mixing (if you're a woman) or for light shooters...but really who wants a light shooter? Dark is for cooking if you're a *****, Otherwise you drink that **** straight out of the bottle, neat, or on the rocks. Spiced does just fine on its own but Captain Morgan is garbage and Bacardi is just Puerto Rican **** water. And ****** is tarnished with coconuts, pineapples, and AIDS for total pussies who can't handle the real ****.

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Beer

Beer is, by all standards, the greatest invention of mankind, the second and third greatest being guns and boobs, respectively. Beer was invented by America in 5000 B.C., a fact that has been disputed for many years by filthy limeys and Jews. Beer is made by putting yeast, sugar, germinated barley, and hops inside a big sealed jug of urine and leaving it in a basement for a few weeks. After the jug explodes, the beer is scraped off the floor and walls, put in bottles and is now ready to be shipped to thirsty rednecks everywhere. There are many types of beer all over the world, but the most popular is malt liquor, a type of beer that is brewed in filthy bathtubs and sold in crime-ridden liquor stores at $3.00 for a 40 oz.

Fact: 68% of all welfare money in America goes directly to malt liquor companies. (The remaining 32% goes towards blunts, crack cocaine, and pre-sagged jeans.)

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david_42 said:

MeatyPortion - I really didn't need to know about ED. Had the greyhounds in here staring at me because I was laughing so much!.

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Heterosexual Super Powers
Heterosexuals also possess the creepy ability to make people out of nothing, a form of black magic some seek to eradicate which others believe entitles them to be treated like gods. They are also known to possess a sonar which allows them to detect homosexuality from a mile away, although some argue that this is achieved merely by labeling as gay anyone who doesn't talk about their weiner at least once every five minutes.

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