FireNightFly
Well-Known Member
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died
Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died
Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
He who laughs last didn't get it.