Zombies: What's the deal!?

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible · Mar 25, 2012

Zombies!! Fooking zombies!! How do they ever win?

They can't move at more than a stagger, yet no matter how fast the non infected human runs, the fricking zombie is right behind them! How do they do that!? Do they have a kazillion watt battery up their ass!? Then they overpower said human, with what? Those stringy little dead muscles? Are you kidding me? I don't care how many zombies are chasing me. A little more than a trot and I'm free and clear. Anyone that gets eaten by zombies totally ****ing deserves it IMO.

And don't even get me started on vampire kittens!

cmendo2005 · Mar 25, 2012

No way dude! First off superior numbers don't need to be really fast when you can just overrun them. Also they never get tired so when you're resting they're still chasing endlessly. Also they're stronger than normal people because they have no untapped brain power to hold back their strength

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible · Mar 25, 2012

I can outrun a zombie, have a short nap and still have time to rub one out before the zombies get anywhere near brain munching reach of me. Your argument, like my bladder, does not hold water.

slomo · Mar 25, 2012

Still superior numbers trumps running. Sooner or later there will be no place to run.

passedpawn · Mar 25, 2012

You can outrun them, but the chick with you will trip over a twig, fall, then act helpless. You'll do the chivalrous thing and turn back, at which time the turtle-slow zombies will feed on your brains.

Airborneguy · Mar 25, 2012

In the name of entertainment, most zombie media doesn't take into account some simple tactics to easily over-come the mindless undead. The movies would suck if every one used common sense in them and had even a modicum of tactical ability.

passedpawn · Mar 25, 2012

Airborneguy said:
In the name of entertainment, most zombie media doesn't take into account some simple tactics to easily over-come the mindless undead. The movies would suck if every one used common sense in them and had even a modicum of tactical ability.

I was talking about real life zombies. Movie zombie AI is just rediculous.

DarthMalt · Mar 25, 2012

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible said:
I can outrun a zombie, have a short nap and still have time to rub one out before the zombies get anywhere near brain munching reach of me. Your argument, like my bladder, does not hold water.

It really depends on the zombie. There's no way you'll outrun a 28 Days Later zombie. And when it catches you, it will win.

passedpawn · Mar 25, 2012

DarthMalt said:
It really depends on the zombie. There's no way you'll outrun a 28 Days Later zombie. And when it catches you, it will win.

exactly. those zombies were frenetic.

I think the OP was talking about the Shaun of the Dead variety, the ones that give you a good chance with a baseball bat (or cricket bat for the limes).

[edit] glad to have LGI back. Cheers.

Rhuarc · Mar 25, 2012

Yep, different types of zombies out there! Hell, even a slightly slower variety, at the end of the season finale of The Walking Dead, the scene with Andrea running. Not to spoil anything...just saying that those would wear you out!

Laughing_Gnome_Invisible · Mar 25, 2012

Look, I can see how a whole horde of zombies chasing after you could be a bit worrying, but according to any evidence I've seen it is statistically more common for people to escape the horde and then get attacked by a lone zombie that somehow magically appears behind them. Zombies are not magical, they are not Harry Potter or Wendy the Good Witch, they are just Zombies.

If I were to be successfully attacked by a lone zombie, I would die of utter shame before my brain was extracted from my boney head casing thing.

Airborneguy · Mar 25, 2012

passedpawn said:
I was talking about real life zombies. Movie zombie AI is just rediculous.

Any idea where I can find these real life zombies? I have some new guns to test out.

phenry · Mar 25, 2012

I always just wonder where the Air Force is during zombie apocalypse movies. You know, I don't think a zombie horde would get anywhere near a soldier hanging out the side of a Huey with a minigun.

Can you say target practice?

Somehow I'm supposed to believe our military can't stand up against slow moving, mentally incapacitated targets that 1) aren't returning fire and 2) need to make physical contact to increase their numbers.

I guess that's why I could never get into The Walking Dead. And don't even get me started on the biological impossibilities of that show.

Hellfish76 · Mar 25, 2012

You know how to kill a zombie?

Anyway that you want because they don't actually exist...

passedpawn · Mar 26, 2012

Hellfish76 said:
You know how to kill a zombie?

Anyway that you want because they don't actually exist...

another sheep under the hypnotic control of hollywood

CliffMongoloid · Mar 26, 2012

phenry said:
I always just wonder where the Air Force is during zombie apocalypse movies. You know, I don't think a zombie horde would get anywhere near a soldier hanging out the side of a Huey with a minigun.

Can you say target practice?

Somehow I'm supposed to believe our military can't stand up against slow moving, mentally incapacitated targets that 1) aren't returning fire and 2) need to make physical contact to increase their numbers.

I guess that's why I could never get into The Walking Dead. And don't even get me started on the biological impossibilities of that show.

How do you kill woman and children?

gmoney51 · Mar 26, 2012

Don't lead them as much, of course.

gratus fermentatio · Mar 26, 2012

I always wondered why the zombies didn't just rot away or get eaten up by maggots; no muscles, no movement.
BTW, good to see you back LGI :mug:

Regards, GF.

jfrans84 · Mar 27, 2012

If u want to kill them, you need no guns. Poke them in the eye, straight into the brain. That's how a Chuck Norris kills zombies.

Varmintman · Mar 27, 2012

gmoney51 said:
Don't lead them as much, of course.

ROTFLMAO. And as I have a considerable ass that is a LOT of laughing

jfrans84 · Mar 27, 2012

Just started a thread on Norris. I have a feeling it's going to be epic!

Zombies: What's the deal!?

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