I am an idiot

Yakima 728
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Here is a conversation I had at work via IM with a couple coworkers about bacon.
Me [2:54 PM]:

I'm afraid I am going to have to resign from the bacon tribunal.

Friend 1 [2:54 PM]:

You can put the bacon in a mini fridge

ME [2:55 PM]:

My mother can no longer eat bacon, and we won't be keeping any in the house.

Friend 1 [2:55 PM]:

Be sure you know what you are saying my friend

Me [2:55 PM]:

I know, it will be a sad day my friends.

I still have a few pounds of bacon in the freezer, but what that's gone there shall be no more.

I urge the remaining members of the tribunal to start efforts to obtain a replacement for me as soon as possible.

Friend 1 [2:58 PM]:

Blasphemy!

Me [2:59 PM]:

I'm afraid I shall soon pass beyond the realm of bacon. Only to fall into the purgatory of perpetual tofu...

Friend 2 [3:00 PM]:

I suggest we start an emergency supply team to keep "Me" exposed to bacon at work, and since it was a lifetime assignment, there can be no resignations accepted from the tribunal.

Friend 1 [3:00 PM]:

Amen brother "Friend 2"!

Friend 2 [3:02 PM]:

Death is the only acceptable release, and it must be scheduled 6 months in advance!

Friend 1 [3:02 PM]:

Hahahahaha

Me [3:02 PM]:

lol

The turkey bacon is coming gentlemen, you had best prepare for the death of bacon as we know it.

The Bacopocalypse is nigh

In those last days there shall be bacon shortages, and rumors of bacon shortages.

Friend 2 [3:06 PM]:

Only if pigs learn to fly!

Me [3:07 PM]:

And pigs shall take to the wing to flee from the hungry masses.

Those that remain upon the ground shall be so lean as to have no bacon.

Friend 2 [3:07 PM]:

Then we also shall learn to fly.

Me [3:07 PM]:

Woh unto us that shall live through such times

Friend 1 [3:08 PM]:

I'm working on flying now

Me [3:09 PM]:

In those days shall come unto us the anti-butcher. And all shall be forced to wear the sign of the vegetarian or be barred from buying and selling.
Click to expand...
 
So, I have about 3.5 pounds of bacon left to play with in the freezer. Probably the last of it I will see for years. Hmm, perhaps candied bacon.
 
WesleyS said:
I always thought you were a candyass. ;)
Click to expand...

And proud of it!

Got my ass shot off in the overweight clone war of 1837. A kindly midget was good enough to candy it and send it to my kin COD.

It was re-attached at the great noodle festival of Pittsburg in1887 by a hamster and a pair of eagles.

It has been one sweet ass ever since.
 
This ought to keep you satiated until you can get more bacon...

bacon-cologne.jpg
 
bottlebomber said:
The ABT's.. I'm a lifelong vegetarian, but I do consider making these just because they sound so incredible.
Click to expand...

Vegetarian?!?! I knew there was something not right about you ya California hippy freak. ;)
 
CreamyGoodness said:
You... you're... wait, what??
Click to expand...

WesleyS said:
Vegetarian?!?! I knew there was something not right about you ya California hippy freak. ;)
Click to expand...

Yep :D my parents were hippy Buddhist vegetarians. The hippy movement struck hard over here. I'm going to be hella healthy when I die
 
m_c_zero said:
4:20PM and looking at appetizers eh?
Click to expand...

He,he. I was wondering if anyone would catch the time. That was a complete coincidence when I snapped the screen shot.
 
bottlebomber said:
Yep :D my parents were hippy Buddhist vegetarians. The hippy movement struck hard over here. I'm going to be hella healthy when I die
Click to expand...

I'm willing to bet I am just as healthy when I die :D
 
A related thought that had crossed my mind......if you had ABSOLUTELY terminal, 6 months to live....whatever.

Would you just go on a fried food and cheese binge and try to get high cholesterol?

I think I would!
 
cheezydemon3 said:
A related thought that had crossed my mind......if you had ABSOLUTELY terminal, 6 months to live....whatever.

Would you just go on a fried food and cheese binge and try to get high cholesterol?

I think I would!
Click to expand...

you mean we're supposed to wait till we're terminal to do that ?!? :eek:
 
If someone told me i can no longer eat thick juicy steaks and burgers with my beer i think they would have to dig my grave now! Its bad enough SWMBO is trying to get me to cutback on red meat. Besides they got these great little pills that take care of that cholesterol ****.
 
CreamyGoodness said:
After many many years of healthy living Jack Lalaine... still died.
Click to expand...

True story.

This client of mine, 50ish but looked 40. Vegetarian, made "tinctures" of hot peppers and other super fruits. Always telling me to meditate and stop eating meat.

*NOT A JOKE*

The organic farm where he worked was clearing some trees. He was riding the 4 wheeler out to take the cutters some lunch.

Tree fell on him while he was riding along. Really sad.
 
cheezydemon3 said:
True story.

This client of mine, 50ish but looked 40. Vegetarian, made "tinctures" of hot peppers and other super fruits. Always telling me to meditate and stop eating meat.

*NOT A JOKE*

The organic farm where he worked was clearing some trees. He was riding the 4 wheeler out to take the cutters some lunch.

Tree fell on him while he was riding along. Really sad.
Click to expand...

When the workers saw he was bringing them tofu sandwiches after a hard days work, they just couldn't take it. Troo story.
 
Here's the thing. I love togu. I love sprouts and quinao or however you spell it. I had a "macrobiotic" salad once that blew me away...

but I cant eat just all that. I'm a food liberal. Cutting something out of your diet, I hate to say it, make you a food racist.
 
CreamyGoodness said:
Here's the thing. I love togu. I love sprouts and quinao or however you spell it. I had a "macrobiotic" salad once that blew me away...

but I cant eat just all that. I'm a food liberal. Cutting something out of your diet, I hate to say it, make you a food racist.
Click to expand...

Same here. I have gone a few months eating only vegetarian. I've even gone vegan for a month or so. Tempeh, tofu, seitan is all good. I especially like making sushi rolls with tempeh. I still eat all those things periodically, but I can't stick only to vegetarian/vegan cuisine. It's great for those that want to eat or live their life that way. More power to them. But I love meat. Beef, pork, poultry, venison etc. I both can't and lack the desire to cut all that out of my diet. I just pretty much eat everything.
I've never had togu, though. Is that the rip off version of tofu? ;)
 
CreamyGoodness said:
Here's the thing. I love togu. I love sprouts and quinao or however you spell it. I had a "macrobiotic" salad once that blew me away...

but I cant eat just all that. I'm a food liberal. Cutting something out of your diet, I hate to say it, make you a food racist.
Click to expand...

What is Togu?
 
WesleyS said:
Same here. I have gone a few months eating only vegetarian. I've even gone vegan for a month or so. Tempeh, tofu, seitan is all good. I especially like making sushi rolls with tempeh. I still eat all those things periodically, but I can't stick only to vegetarian/vegan cuisine. It's great for those that want to eat or live their life that way. More power to them. But I love meat. Beef, pork, poultry, venison etc. I both can't and lack the desire to cut all that out of my diet. I just pretty much eat everything.
I've never had togu, though. Is that the rip off version of tofu? ;)
Click to expand...

I'll have to admit I am bacon curious.
 
bottlebomber said:
I'll have to admit I am bacon curious.
Click to expand...

One of my friends in college was vegetarian but twice she had to opportunity to try a meat that looked do delicious that she couldn't pass it up. Both times she said it gave her a stomach ache as her body had stopped producing the enzymes needed to digest meat.

She said it was still worth it tho!
 
bleme said:
One of my friends in college was vegetarian but twice she had to opportunity to try a meat that looked do delicious that she couldn't pass it up. Both times she said it gave her a stomach ache as her body had stopped producing the enzymes needed to digest meat.

She said it was still worth it tho!
Click to expand...

Yeah I'd start small. I've been eating a little fish over the last year or so with no problems, I don't know how my body would do with non fish though.
 
bottlebomber said:
I'll have to admit I am bacon curious.
Click to expand...

I have this T-shirt:
shirt-bacon01.png


SWMBO, who is a life-long vegetarian, is not amused.

After the third time we're out at the bar and some girl walked up to me all like "OMG, I used to be vegetarian, but bacon lured me back to the dark side!", I'm no longer allowed to wear it out. :(
 
CreamyGoodness said:
bomber, I hereby volunteer to be your omnivorous spiritual guide if you are ever in ny.

you tool.
Click to expand...
Ha, I have a friend named Jay, he is a balding little Jewish kid with glasses who is a solid foot shorter and hundred pounds lighter than I, and he is constantly giving me crap about not being manly enough because I don't eat meat. You're a lot like him ;)
feinbera said:
I have this T-shirt:

SWMBO, who is a life-long vegetarian, is not amused.

After the third time we're out at the bar and some girl walked up to me all like "OMG, I used to be vegetarian, but bacon lured me back to the dark side!", I'm no longer allowed to wear it out. :(
Click to expand...

That's awesome lol... I'm not going to lie, it sounds delicious.
 

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