I am an idiot

bottlebomber said:

Maybe we aren't seeing eye to eye... My buddy's wife was nutty as a squirrel turd, but looked like an Eskimo with Down syndrome.

Click to expand...

There a quite a few of those up here.

cheezydemon3 said:

Yeah! How does he rationalize consuming those sentient, feeling, little buggars?

Click to expand...

Well, he is an insensetive hypocrite, but don't tell him I said so!

Subsailor said:

That's funny! I am always looking for ways to rephrase things just to annoy my wife a little and I may have to use this when we discuss our wayward youngest daughter and her husband this evening.

Click to expand...

Something my father most likely told me when I was a teenager (I dont remember exactly, I seldom listened) "Never cheat on a retired submariner's daughter"

So bomber, if she's crazy AND ugly and I hear no mention of intelligence... it begs a very important question...

cheezydemon3 said:

Well, he is an insensetive hypocrite, but don't tell him I said so!

Click to expand...

Would you like someone to join you in that little conversation or are you content just quoting yourself and answering?

WesleyS said:

Would you like someone to join you in that little conversation or are you content just quoting yourself and answering?

Click to expand...

Do you mind?

cheezydemon3 said:

Yeast aren't from the sea.

Click to expand...

That's why I sterile filter all my beer. I don't need that kind of karmic affliction on my hands.. And while having a 5 day long sex orgy until you drown in alcohol SOUNDS great, we're talking 1.5 million reincarnations/ml/degree Plato. Everything gets old eventually.

CreamyGoodness said:

So bomber, if she's crazy AND ugly and I hear no mention of intelligence... it begs a very important question...

Click to expand...

Let's put it this way - one time she sought me out to try and have a "debate" on religion. She came to her dizzying crescendo by saying "I don't think it matters what Pacific religion you are".

oooooooo thats super rough. What was your buddy thinking??

CreamyGoodness said:

So bomber, if she's crazy AND ugly and I hear no mention of intelligence... it begs a very important question...

Click to expand...

Must be amazing in the sack.

bottlebomber said:

That's why I sterile filter all my beer. I don't need that kind of karmic affliction on my hands.. And while having a 5 day long sex orgy until you drown in alcohol SOUNDS great, we're talking 1.5 million reincarnations/ml/degree Plato. Everything gets old eventually.

Let's put it this way - one time she sought me out to try and have a "debate" on religion. She came to her dizzying crescendo by saying "I don't think it matters what Pacific religion you are".

Click to expand...

Confirmed.

CreamyGoodness said:

Something my father most likely told me when I was a teenager (I dont remember exactly, I seldom listened) "Never cheat on a retired submariner's daughter"

Click to expand...

The problem is the retired Submariner's daughter cheating on her 3rd husband, after we warned him of her rapacious appetite for young military men. We have learned that he has been seeking solace with another woman and apparently they, my daughter and her husband, were doing this to each other at the same time all along.

Subsailor said:

The problem is the retired Submariner's daughter cheating on her 3rd husband, after we warned him of her rapacious appetite for young military men. We have learned that he has been seeking solace with another woman and apparently they, my daughter and her husband, were doing this to each other at the same time all along.

Click to expand...

Oof thats a tough one, particularly so close to home. Usually when Im brought into a matter like this with friends (has happened more times than I like to remember) I usually just suggest a fresh slate and extensive personal and couples therapy before I wander off in search of a beer and other people to talk to. Im too frail of stature and too tired to play referee.

Yeah, no worries, she's 25, he's 24, they're both adults, we'll let them sort it out.

Do you ever just hug your wife and say "thank you for not allowing that kind of craziness into our house?"

I know I do.

By that I mean I hug my wife. I havent met your wife. Doubt Ive ever hugged her.

CreamyGoodness said:

Do you ever just hug your wife and say "thank you for not allowing that kind of craziness into our house?"

I know I do.

By that I mean I hug my wife. I havent met your wife. Doubt Ive ever hugged her.

Click to expand...

Every day, several times a day. We are looking forward to starting our lives together without any of the children and their drama within our home. The youngest one, 21 is moving out at the end of April and then it will be just us and the 3 fuzzy children.

What is wrong with me?

SMASH - Squid Cascade - Pale Extract - Blonde Ale
================================================================================
Batch Size: 1.920 gal
Boil Size: 3.420 gal
Boil Time: 60.000 min
Efficiency: 70%
OG: 1.036
FG: 1.009
ABV: 3.5%
Bitterness: 22.3 IBUs (Tinseth)
Color: 6 SRM (Morey)

Fermentables
================================================================================
Name Type Amount Mashed Late Yield Color
Liquid Extract (LME) - Pale Extract 2.000 lb No Yes 78% 8 L
Total grain: 2.000 lb

Hops
================================================================================
Name Alpha Amount Use Time Form IBU
Cascade 6.0% 0.250 oz First Wort 60.000 min Pellet 22.3
Cascade 6.0% 0.250 oz Aroma 5.000 min Pellet 0.0

Misc
================================================================================
Name Type Use Amount Time
Squid Ink Flavor Boil 1.000 oz 5.000 min

Yeast
================================================================================
Name Type Form Amount Stage
WLP001 - California Ale Yeast Ale Liquid 2.367 tbsp Primary @ 68F

Mash
================================================================================
Name Type Amount Temp Target Time
Conversion Infusion 3.250 gal 173.166 F 152.000 F 60.000 min

cheezydemon3 said:

Mama wanna? I think they were effing with you.

Fermented squid ink.......that is freakier than fish sauce!

Can you ferment ANYTHING and make it safe to eat?

for example rotted sheep blood, I mean rancid. Fermented, safe to drink?

Mortadella (uh oh, tangent) SO funky! Is it like bleu cheese? Safe fungus? Got some chorizo that was pretty funkdefied. Where do you draw the line.

Click to expand...

When the substance in question is either overtly poisonous, radioactive, or closer to a solid then a liquid... See rice wine exception elsewhere on the forum.

cheezydemon3 said:

Do you mind?

Click to expand...

Nope, haven't seen one in a while. Did you have one you wanted to get rid of? I'm sure it would make an interesting adjunct.

bottlebomber said:

Let's put it this way - one time she sought me out to try and have a "debate" on religion. She came to her dizzying crescendo by saying "I don't think it matters what Pacific religion you are".

Click to expand...

Uh, pacific is also an adjective.

pa·cif·ic
[puh-sif-ik]
adjective
1.tending to make or preserve peace; conciliatory: pacific overtures.
2.not warlike; peaceable; mild: a pacific disposition.
3.at peace; peaceful: a pacific era in history.
4.calm; tranquil: The Wabash is a pacific river.
5.( initial capital letter ) of or pertaining to the Pacific Ocean.
6.( initial capital letter ) of or pertaining to the region bordering on the Pacific Ocean: the Pacific states.

noun ( initial capital letter )
7.Pacific Ocean.
8.a steam locomotive having a four-wheeled front truck, six driving wheels, and a two-wheeled rear truck.

Click to expand...

New game! Lets play "guess what Wesley had for lunch today!"

Haha!! Just joking! That was the trub and dry hops from my DIPA I just bottled.
Just thought someone should see it. You know, because I'm an idiot.

The_Dog_42 said:

What is wrong with me?

Click to expand...

Would you like that alphabetically, or categorically?

Leadgolem said:

Uh, pacific is also an adjective.

Click to expand...

I can guarantee you that this woman doesn't know what an adjective is, let alone any of what you posted.

WesleyS said:

Haha!! Just joking! That was the trub and dry hops from my DIPA I just bottled.
Just thought someone should see it. You know, because I'm an idiot.

Click to expand...

Dude, I was gonna punch you.

Ah, punch. It's a dieing art.

The_Dog_42 said:

What is wrong with me?

SMASH - Squid Cascade - Pale Extract - Blonde Ale

Hops
====================================
Cascade 6.0% 0.250 oz First Wort 60.000 min Pellet 22.3
Cascade 6.0% 0.250 oz Aroma 5.000 min Pellet 0.0

Click to expand...

I don't see Cascade being complimentary to squid ink at all. Maybe Northdown?

bottlebomber said:

Dude, I was gonna punch you.

Click to expand...

I had my torch all doused with gas and everything.

bleme said:

I don't see Cascade being complimentary to squid ink at all. Maybe Northdown?

Click to expand...

Oh good. I posted the recipe in the right thread then.

Leadgolem said:

Ah, punch. It's a dieing art.

Click to expand...

When I, rarely, make punch at home I have been using the Alton Brown trick of filling a balloon with water, freezing it, and taking the balloon off the ice "egg"

CreamyGoodness said:

When I, rarely, make punch at home I have been using the Alton Brown trick of filling a balloon with water, freezing it, and taking the balloon off the ice "egg"

Click to expand...

Have you ever tasted the inside of a balloon?

bleme said:

Have you ever tasted the inside of a balloon?

Click to expand...

Are you coming on to me?

bleme said:

Have you ever tasted the inside of a balloon?

Click to expand...

Shaken, not stirred.

When I was a little boy I asked my parents if there was anything we eat that was not alive at some point. My father was able to come up with "salt." I bawled my eyes out.

Maybe it is more ethical to eat a pepper than a cow, but its sobering to think that both were alive, and now are not, because of us.

The_Dog_42 said:

What is wrong with me?

SMASH - Squid Cascade - Pale Extract - Blonde Ale

Hops
================================================================================
Name Alpha Amount Use Time Form IBU
Cascade 6.0% 0.250 oz First Wort 60.000 min Pellet 22.3
Cascade 6.0% 0.250 oz Aroma 5.000 min Pellet 0.0

Misc
================================================================================
Name Type Use Amount Time
Squid Ink Flavor Boil 1.000 oz 5.000 min

Click to expand...

I would substitute crocodile for the cascade adding a 20 min addition of. gator tongue for flavoring and dry croc after 2 weeks for 5 to 7 days. Maybe up the squid ink to 1.5oz if you decide to dry croc.

Yknow what... if you are going to use squid ink...

Follow me here. What goes with fish and seafood in general? A spritz of lemon. So, instead of cascade, what if you used citra or centennial?

Oh damn you CG. Now I need to make a Citra SMASH so half can be squid inked. That means I need to make a Cascade SMASH later and I need to buy Citra.

Sometimes I hate you and your good ideas.

/rant

Do you think the ink would distribute evenly in the solution or do you think you would have streamers of ink like a lava lamp?

No idea. I would think because it seems to diffuse in water pretty well when...used by a squid, it would turn the whole beer blue/black depending on how much is used.

I hereby consent... nay, REQUEST THE RIGHT TO sample a bottle of this when it is done. I'll do a video and everything.

CreamyGoodness said:

I hereby consent... nay, REQUEST THE RIGHT TO sample a bottle of this when it is done. I'll do a video and everything.

Click to expand...

It should be accompanied by one of these.

Holy crap. That looks like crap!

Looks like someone pooped in the bun dough.

WesleyS said:

It should be accompanied by one of these.

Click to expand...

Dude, what the hell is that? You're batting 0 with your last couple pics