I am an idiot

CornyKegs 728
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Why not just prance around, holding dumplings on our noses. :rockin: We can drink beer down our throats while we are at it.
 
BobbiLynn said:
But why would a stout make a good dance partner? Too bulky. I'm thinking IPA.
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The hoppiness of IPAs is really only suited for upbeat dances.
 
Dunno what starter this thread because I'm too lazy to actually read it, but I just totally burnt my hand not once, but twice tonight while make a yeast starter..... Yeah I fit the category tonight...
 
CityOChampBrew said:
Dunno what starter this thread because I'm too lazy to actually read it, but I just totally burnt my hand not once, but twice tonight while make a yeast starter..... Yeah I fit the category tonight...
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This is just twice burnt hand burners unite!! You came to the right place...

None of us know what started this topic, the OP erased it and said nevermind, I am an idiot.
 
If you don't feel like reading through the thread (which I recommend by the way) I'll fill you in on what started this whole thing. The OP was doing math in his head wrong and didn't realize 20 quarts is 5 gallons. Then he realized his mistake and erased it and then this whole thing took off.
 
WesleyS said:
If you don't feel like reading through the thread (which I recommend by the way) I'll fill you in on what started this whole thing. The OP was doing math in his head wrong and didn't realize 20 quarts is 5 gallons. Then he realized his mistake and erased it and then this whole thing took off.
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Oh, I feel enlightened now... I just hope that doesn't make me less of an idiot or I'll have to stay away from this topic.
 
Hah. On Saturday I made a wee heavy. 21 lbs of grain to make it nice and strong. First runnings into a pot to boil down, and then started to fly sparge into the boil kettle. Went back to watch the boiling pot for a bit, and came back to check on the fly sparge, and noticed the spigot on the kettle was open and the wort was just flowing out onto the ground.

Now who's the idiot? :D
 
Cromwell said:
Hah. On Saturday I made a wee heavy. 21 lbs of grain to make it nice and strong. First runnings into a pot to boil down, and then started to fly sparge into the boil kettle. Went back to watch the boiling pot for a bit, and came back to check on the fly sparge, and noticed the spigot on the kettle was open and the wort was just flowing out onto the ground.

Now who's the idiot? :D
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Awesome. You sir are an idiot.
 
Cromwell said:
Hah. On Saturday I made a wee heavy. 21 lbs of grain to make it nice and strong. First runnings into a pot to boil down, and then started to fly sparge into the boil kettle. Went back to watch the boiling pot for a bit, and came back to check on the fly sparge, and noticed the spigot on the kettle was open and the wort was just flowing out onto the ground.

Now who's the idiot? :D
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sounds like we have a winner
 
OH, we've all done it.

Any brewer who hasn't put at least 2 gallons of liquid gold on the floor at some point isn't a real brewer.
 
cheezydemon3 said:
OH, we've all done it.

Any brewer who hasn't put at least 2 gallons of liquid gold on the floor at some point isn't a real brewer.
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Apparently I'm not a real brewer then. But I make up for it by making other little idiotic mistakes.
 
WesleyS said:
Apparently I'm not a real brewer then. But I make up for it by making other little idiotic mistakes.
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:mug: WOW!!!!!!

Keep it up! You must be more detail oriented than me.

Never even a boilover????????

I lost 3 gallons or so on the garage floor from a boilover once.

Once I used a bucket with a spigot to bottle and while racking the spigot was open for 1.5 gallons or so.
 
cheezydemon3 said:
:mug: WOW!!!!!!

Keep it up! You must be more detail oriented than me.

Never even a boilover????????

I lost 3 gallons or so on the garage floor from a boilover once.

Once I used a bucket with a spigot to bottle and while racking the spigot was open for 1.5 gallons or so.
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To be honest, I'm surprised I haven't lost beer from those kind of mistakes. I used to come pretty close to boil over when I was making 2.5 gallon batches on the stove. Here's something really stupid I did one time though. I wondered if putting a straining bag around my homemade manifold would keep more grain pieces out and I wouldn't have to vorlauf quite as much. So like an idiot, I put it in place and mashed as usual. When it came time to drain.......nothing. Nothing came out of the spigot. I had to transfer the whole mash to a separate container, remove the bag from the manifold, transfer it back to my MLT, then continue. The beer still turned out great, but I felt like a moron.
 
cheezydemon3 said:
OH, we've all done it.

Any brewer who hasn't put at least 2 gallons of liquid gold on the floor at some point isn't a real brewer.
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Oh I have.. Just not all at once ;)
 
I used to be amazing at it, and only got better as the game went on. 7 or 8 rounds in I started feeling... off. Won again. Won once more, and then it happened. A friend of ours helped me walk home.
 
One of the dumbest moves I've pulled was the time I thought I would take a gravity reading from my bucket fermenter's spigot without venting the lid.
Luckily I had vodka in the airlock and not Starsan because it got sucked back in, and the side walls started to cave in too.
This was also before I realized what a vector for infection a fermentor spigot can be. One of the reasons I only ferment in glass now.
 
Hamsterbite said:
One of the dumbest moves I've pulled was the time I thought I would take a gravity reading from my bucket fermenter's spigot without venting the lid.
Luckily I had vodka in the airlock and not Starsan because it got sucked back in, and the side walls started to cave in too.
This was also before I realized what a vector for infection a fermentor spigot can be. One of the reasons I only ferment in glass now.
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One time I forgot to switch my blow off for an airlock before cold crashing. Had about a quart or so of Starsan suck back up into the beer. It didn't really mix into the beer, just kind of floated on top, so I was able to avoid most of it when siphoning.
 
I just got another brilliant idea... which is why I am posting it here.

Sometimes when a noob gets it in his/her pretty little head that they are going to make their own beer or wine they pick up a book or read online. Very often, this information stresses how to make EXCELLENT beer or wine, which is obviously a lot more intricate and difficult to learn... taking more practice... than making "ok yeah I'll have another glass" beer and wine. Some turn away and get discouraged after a few failed batches and many more never pick up a carboy.

I know for a fact that aside from a few unfortunate experiments, I can make a glass of JAOM-style mead that you might drink with dinner or during Game of Thrones and accept a refill.

So... maybe the first step is learn how to make mediocre wine and beer... not make excellent wine and beer and fail at it...

Am I making any sense?
 
CreamyGoodness said:
So... maybe the first step is learn how to make mediocre wine and beer... not make excellent wine and beer and fail at it...

Am I making any sense?
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Makes sense to me.

Write a book - "The Idiot's Guide to Meadiocre Beer".
(See how I incorporated the Mead into the title?)

Under tasting notes, instruct the brewer to first cleanse their pallate with a mouthful of Colt 45 Malt Liquor. Anything you drink after that will taste like Crystal Champagne. Instant upgrade! :D
 
CreamyGoodness said:
I just got another brilliant idea... which is why I am posting it here.

Sometimes when a noob gets it in his/her pretty little head that they are going to make their own beer or wine they pick up a book or read online. Very often, this information stresses how to make EXCELLENT beer or wine, which is obviously a lot more intricate and difficult to learn... taking more practice... than making "ok yeah I'll have another glass" beer and wine. Some turn away and get discouraged after a few failed batches and many more never pick up a carboy.

I know for a fact that aside from a few unfortunate experiments, I can make a glass of JAOM-style mead that you might drink with dinner or during Game of Thrones and accept a refill.

So... maybe the first step is learn how to make mediocre wine and beer... not make excellent wine and beer and fail at it...

Am I making any sense?
Click to expand...

Book titles:

How To Brew Mediocre Beer

Swill For Dummies

Learn To Not Get Your Hopes Up When Your Beer Sucks Because There's A Good Chance It Will

Learn To Brew ****
 
Hear me out hear me out. Make learning to brew a series of projects. Start with table sugar and yeast in a plastic bag in a bucket. Watch it explode. Lesson on CO2 as a byproduct has been taught. Move up to JAOM, using only things you can find at the grocery store. Notice what's wrong and annoying about the process. Buy one or two measly pieces of actual equiptment and make apfelwein.... and so on. Don't even take out a hydrometer until chapter 6.


Thats what I've been doing over the past year on my own, because I tell you right now when I started reading early on about floccuation and efficiency I done got scareded.
 
CreamyGoodness said:
Hear me out hear me out. Make learning to brew a series of projects. Start with table sugar and yeast in a plastic bag in a bucket. Watch it explode. Lesson on CO2 as a byproduct has been taught. Move up to JAOM, using only things you can find at the grocery store. Notice what's wrong and annoying about the process. Buy one or two measly pieces of actual equiptment and make apfelwein.... and so on. Don't even take out a hydrometer until chapter 6.

Thats what I've been doing over the past year on my own, because I tell you right now when I started reading early on about floccuation and efficiency I done got scareded.
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All joking aside, that's not a bad idea. I think a lot of people benefit from that kind of learning. Step by step, each time getting a little deeper.
I on the other hand read as much as I can find on something before making the first move. Before making my first extract batch with the guy who got me into brewing, I read a couple years worth of BYO issues he let me borrow within about a week and by the second batch I had a firm understanding of the process and already building my all grain equipment. Which was something he hadn't even stepped up to.
But the method you are proposing would be effective.
 
You're right. Sometimes just doing something is a good way of learning. You can fill in the missing knowledge later.

Have you ever seem Moonshiner's. Even though it's scripted, I'm pretty sure the guys on that show are legit. I doubt any of them could define (or spell) flocculation or saccharomyces, but they know how to make booze. Probably learned it exactly the way you mentioned.
 

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