ITT - Out Dirty Brewing Secrets

In this thread, let's reveal our dark and dirty brewing secrets . . . a confessional of sorts. What are some things you do as a brewer or beer lover that you are a bit embarrassed to admit on a forum like this one?

I'll start . . . .

I often start a siphon using my mouth!!!! :cross:

I know it is bad practice, but it is so easy. I have also never had an infection [knocks on wood] and my beers are praised for being "clean." I've won 1sts and 2nds at competitions . . . with beers which have been siphoned with my mouth.

There . . . a confession.

Next?

I sanitize my brew gear with pee-pee....

My head hurts when I try to do the math.

I drink my beer before it's done.

I tell SHMBO that it's saving money.

I still go the pub even when I have homebrew on tap.

I'm a beer snob.


That enough?

I keep a case of Michelob Ultra Amber in the "other" refrigerator so that the SWMBO doesn't think I'm drinking all the keg stuff too fast. Here definition of too fast is way, way different than mine. It's not like I chug the stuff, just on weekends. But sometimes to her, two glasses is enough. Funny, I met her at a bar that she was working at. Ironic poetry, no?????
If she reads this...I'm toast. How in the hell did we get so wimpy????? My guess is because they get HALF.

I often start a siphon using my mouth!!!! quote from sonvolt

me too(hides face) but i do soak paper towel in star san and put it over the tube
and suck through it.
i also don't boil my immersion chiller in the wort.
i soak it in the pink brewers wash and then rinse and soak in star san

I bottle next to the cat box.

I siphon using my mouth

I give company the less better of the brew and drink the good stuff formyself

I replace the brew in the fridge after I have had more than a few to trick the wife into thinking I only had 1 or 2

LS_Grimmy said:

I replace the brew in the fridge after I have had more than a few to trick the wife into thinking I only had 1 or 2

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I've done that!!

Well... since we're revealing deep dark brewing secrets....


You all do NOT want to know about the secret dipping bag I use to give my NUT brown ale its extra authentic taste...



(j/k)

That nut bag has got to be a ***** to sanitize.


I carbonate my bottles in the bathroom.
I brew wearing a sarong.

I once drank 1/2 glass of Budweiser.

-a.

i sanitize my bottles in the bathroom

I don't pay the electric bill cause my roomates do. So (since my house has 1/2'' gaps around all doors windows) I leave my door closed and my little heater on to keep my room at 74 degrees so I can ferment. When they ***** about the electric bill, I just tell them it is from them watching so much TV....wrapped in 10 blankets. Hey, I am an electrician, why would they doubt me>

feedthebear said:

That nut bag has got to be a ***** to sanitize

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Actually, it gets sorta tingly and that feels pretty good.

Toot said:

Actually, it gets sorta tingly and that feels pretty good.

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You dont add it to the boil?

magno said:

You dont add it to the boil?

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No, I use it in the primary without boiling because I want to take advantage of the natural yeasts and bacteria sort of like they do with Belgian beers. You know... I went the authenticity of a genuine nut brown...

This is embarrassing but I once brewed a batch while listening to Duran Duran. OK, I'm out of the closet, I feel much better.

Ol' Grog said:

If she reads this...I'm toast. How in the hell did we get so wimpy????? My guess is because they get HALF.

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WE? Dont be draggin me in your connundrum....

Not only have I done many of the things mentioned but I had a couple miller lites while brewing today I also modify my hop schedule on the fly and make recipe changes with out documenting a thing.

When I racked my last beer, I not only started with the siphon with my mouth, I got too much beer in my mouth and I ended up spitting it back out and into the carboy by accident. I should have done beer bongs in college for practice.

Never told anyone until now, and I didn't notice any difference in taste...

I like PBR mixed with Clamato.

I also drink my beer too young.

I use a turkey baster quite a bit while sanitizing - for flushing siphon tubes, knocking down san star bubbles, etc. It is the same turkey baster that gets used every Thanksgiving.

I drank several Milwaukee's Best Light's tonight while bottling. My good stuff is all either conditioning or flushed.

I have decided to do all my fermentation in the ground floor 1/2 bathroom in my house (it is the only room >60*F) because there is a heating vent there and when I close the door it gets nice and warm (70*F).

and yes, I use the toilet in there!

The last time I emptied out my cellar I ended up with 8 cartons of empty bottles and had 6 cartons full of crushed cans (Cascade Draught - a few drop of an evening!)

...a carton is 24 stubbies / cans at 375ml. When crushed a carton can hold 3 cartons worth of cans. BURP!!! maths should not be used here!

start my siphon with my mouth.

replace bottles immediately in the fridge so my ladyfriend doesnt know how much ive drank

ajf said:

I once drank 1/2 glass of Budweiser.

-a.

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Oh the shame! hehe.

Hrm, dirty secrets eh? Golly. lemme think...

I split my wort into two pots, cause I don't have a big enough one yet. My manifold is made of CPVC and I glued the elbows. (works great though, as for the glue it is used in plumbing all the time plus I boiled the parts until no smell of the solvent remained). I left my last spent mash in the tun for a couple days cause I was too lazy to truck it out to the compost. (smells like cheese and vomit mixed). I keep telling friend wife about all the money I keep saving. (she drinks it too so, it's all good). Oh yeah that is my best secret. My wife loves the homebrew and supports it.

BOSTONBREWIN' said:

This is embarrassing but I once brewed a batch while listening to Duran Duran. OK, I'm out of the closet, I feel much better.

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:fro:

*cough* "How about them Bears?"

No one else tops up their fermenter with water straight out of the tap?

oops

Also about every time I drain a plastic fermenter, I forget to take the airlock out and end up sucking all the airlock water into the fermenter when the drain opens up...

debtman7 said:

No one else tops up their fermenter with water straight out of the tap?

oops

Also about every time I drain a plastic fermenter, I forget to take the airlock out and end up sucking all the airlock water into the fermenter when the drain opens up...

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I top off with tap water, I think a lot of others here too, there have been threads about it, so it's our dirty little common knowledge

I forgot to take the airlock of of a better bottle when racking and it crumpled up like an aluminum can. Pulled out the airlock and it sprang right back into shape (luckily!).

I have a little portable speaker set for my iPod, and I pick different artists for the mash, boil, and straining. Out of superstition or some such thing, I record the artists that I listen to, so that if the recipe turns out well, I can recreate the whole thing...kinda scary, I know.

brewt00l said:

I also modify my hop schedule on the fly and make recipe changes with out documenting a thing.

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Oh, the HORROR!

I also top-off with tap water. :cross:

Engelramm said:

Oh, the HORROR!

I also top-off with tap water. :cross:

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I have heard of people that don't but I have never seen one!

I also don't mark my bottles and rely on memory alone on where I store them. This of course does not work and I end up with a surprise most times when I crack open a bottle.


....I really need to start marking them - even a number scratched into the lid is too much for me!

We also top off with tap water if needed.
I eat spoonfuls of mash while mashing(testing for sugar extraction).SWMBO ate a bowl full once.
Using a 5 gal paint bucket for an extra secondary(possibly not food grade )
Sneak crushed grain and mash grain to dog.
Use a drilled cork in my cooler/mash tun.(no steengkeeng kooler kit)
Plastic valve for same.
SWMBO refuses to use bottle brush .

Cheers

I use a nylon mesh bag to strain mash grains and wort.

I also use tap water, but sometimes I throw in some crushed ice to lower the temp. Hey, I live in the south, and tap water doesn't cool wort down enough.

I only share my best beer with other brewers.

Matt

dibby33 said:

....I really need to start marking them - even a number scratched into the lid is too much for me!

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I was thinking of just making up some stamps and getting plain caps. A simple "S" for Stout, "A" for APA etc.

I often brew and bottle in my boxers.

A time or two (or three) I got too drunk to remember to take the OG reading.

I dont use a hydrometer..................ever

So now that Walker is back using his, are you are resident hydrometer-assassin?

zoebisch01 said:

I was thinking of just making up some stamps and getting plain caps. A simple "S" for Stout, "A" for APA etc.

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I number all my batches, but I only started numbering the bottles after the third batch and when the fourth batch was on the way, because it was getting too tough to just guess which one was which. Porters and stouts look pretty similar in brown bottles! :cross:

My biggest (and probably only) dirty secret:

I've stored a couple batches of bottles in the bathroom because of concerns about bottle bombs, but I've never explained that risk to SWMBO.

the_bird said:

So now that Walker is back using his, are you are resident hydrometer-assassin?

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omg he caved?