No delicate way to put this....who has gone through a separation/divorce before in a Marriage? Suggestions? Advice? Words of Wisdom? Anything inbetween?
Thanks,
Nic
Thanks,
Nic
Ouch! Sorry man. There was a thread on here last year that turned into a really good thread about divorce and separation, but I can't remember where it is. Either way, you'll soon see, that most of us on here have been divorced or separated at some point. It's tough and hard as hell. Keep you head up and try to stay positive. The one thing I did was make sure that I did NOT drink a lot. Knowing that I have a tendency to imbibe a bit too much I knew that drowning my sorrows was a bad idea. Surround yourself with friends too. Try to do things to take your mind off of it, ie, brew more. Tme is really the only thing that will make it better.
Have you been married long? Is a divorce definite or just a separation? Kids? I hope that it works out for you! Good luck.
Sounds like a somewhat amicable separation. Very different from the couple that I know that went through this. I'm kind of feeling sorry for her, not knowing why she is not happy. Many facets of life can depress you. Hell, just getting older is a bit depressing! Maybe all she needs is to be on her own for a bit and see what life alone is like.
And it sucks being "a great person and all", but still not being able to make it work. Hang in there, keep on being yourself and you will be happy. People do get back together, so who knows if this is temporary, or the start of something completely different for you.
I'm lucky to be in a marriage where I think we both look forward to growing old together. Ok, maybe not growing old together, but being together. Can't help the growing old part!
As far as advice, I'd say, don't make it harder for both of you by being a jerk. It only takes one to start a jerk fest.
And I guess I'm old
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What concerns me is that she doesn't know why she is unhappy with your marriage but she knows she wants to move out and she's going out a lot.
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I'm also concerned that you got married and you knew it was going to be difficult. That doesn't really make sense. I mean, look, we all argue and fight with our family, friends, coworkers, etc. but I doubt you speak about your friendships as something you "never expected to be easy".
-- get a lawyer.
-- Get control of the credit cards, checking and savings accounts.
-- "Get a Lawyer"!
ANyway, I'll try not to get too detailed but we married in Nov 2009, so a little over a year. I never expected things to be easy and not require work. We had our tiffs and arguments, but rarely anything major.
Hey, sorry to hear it. I am glad to hear your wife is going to counseling with you; that gives reason for hope. But trust me, even if it comes to an end, it does get better. It took me two years to adjust, but I can honestly say that if my ex came to me tomorrow on her knees begging me to come back I would say forget it.
Mine drunk dialed me and asked me if I was over her. Ten years after...uhhh, pretty much.
That was one of the best days of my life. And to prove how badass my real wife is, she and I both had a good laugh over it.
It does get better. A lot better. Just make sure to learn what lessons are yours.
It doesn't help right now, but several of us have mentioned being divorced for a while and being happier than ever. It's hard to believe when you are starting the process of separation, but you will be ok. You'll be better than ok eventually, but even now you'll be ok.
I was married for 16 years the first time. I had two small kids, and was sure I would be single forever. I've been remarried for almost 10 years (but we've been together longer) and happier than ever before.
I'd rather be alone than with someone who's "not happy". Because none of us can ever make another person happy. They are looking for something that no human can provide, and even though we joked about "it's not you, it's me"- that's true. It's NOT you. It's 100% her. She's not happy. It really has nothing to do with you.
Another good point that has gone through my mind. With the obvious exception of an unstable marriage, I'm honestly pretty happy with myself as a person. She on the other hand is not, and as you've stated, I can't make her or anyone else happy.
I'd rather be alone than with someone who's "not happy". Because none of us can ever make another person happy. They are looking for something that no human can provide, and even though we joked about "it's not you, it's me"- that's true. It's NOT you. It's 100% her. She's not happy. It really has nothing to do with you.
Don't look for advice on how to fix your marriage from a bunch of imperfect people with a divorce rate of well over 60%. If you want to save your marriage start by studying the bible. After all God did create the marriage, who else could give you better advice?start here.http://watchtower.org
Don't look for advice on how to fix your marriage from a bunch of imperfect people with a divorce rate of well over 60%. If you want to save your marriage start by studying the bible. After all God did create the marriage, who else could give you better advice?start here.http://watchtower.org
God is bezig kan IK helpen?
Dude I hope your trolling cause I could rip the bible apart re: marriage
How long have you been married? I over 26yrs now without some book telling us how we should live our life
There aint no god and I bet you still believe in the santa too.
In before the lock FTW!
Hit the nail on the head right there Yooper. I'm sure it will be difficult for you at first but think of it this way. You're young, you brew your own beer, and now you've learned what kind of woman to stay away from. Maybe you need to find a woman who's experienced a lot in life and is ready to settle down. I went through a ton of terrible relationships to learn what I wanted in a spouse. When I found her, I snatched her up and the two of us are very happy with our marriage, three years and going strong. Good things take time, heck I waited until I was 29 to get married, granted she was 19
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