Mitch Hedberg--
- I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."
- My girl works at Hooters, in the kitchen.
Zach Galifianakis--
- Hello, my name is Zach Galifianakis, and I hope I'm saying that right.
- My brother has ADD, which is weird because he...