20 PSI to serve a stout? No.
Which "output" do you think it came out of? You do not want to fill a keg so that it hits the gas in dip tube. You'd have to put quite a bit of beer in there to actually get to that point but your best bet is to never over-fill a keg. You obviously have a leak somewhere. It is time to pull the keg out, do not let the pressure out yet and start spraying star san over everything. If you see bubbles, that's your leak.
Now that you have the leak some of the beer is gone, you should be good. 8-10 PSI to carbonate is fine. I'll stick by my 20 PSI to serve sounds like a no no but what is the length of your line and the ID of your line? Also, what's your serving temp.
To answer the other questions, could be a bad o-ring but my suspicion is the her hit the gas tube and the pressure just pushed it right out. You did get bad advice. When the beer is done replace the o-rings and be sure it holds pressure without leaks before filling it again. Be aware of the amount of beer you're pouring into the keg. Was it definitely 5 gallons or was it a little more or less?
Also, think about using water to fill a keg. Count the gallons and find out what 5 gallons looks like in a 5 gallon keg. It's a good learning tool and the worst you do is waste water, not beer.