Won't need too much extract, search the board i know its somewhere around here. I think add a table spoon at a time at bottling (for the extract) and stop when you have had enough.
As for mellowing a beer. the last time i did my VBPorter. I have the beer fresh after 3 weeks of bottle carbing, a few months later and up to six months later. The best tasting was the ones a few months to six months later. The vanilla was more subtle and was just over all a great beer, just a faint touch of vanilla. Just a great tasting easy drinking beer. When it was younger the vanilla was more forward, not over powering, really gave a milk chocolate taste to the beer from blending with the chocolate malt. but as it got older it got better, especially if you can keep it in the fridge for a long time.
For example: I just bottled my newest batch (second brew) Vanilla Bourbon Porter today. Had two Madagascar Vanilla beans and an additional TBSP of high quality extract along with 8 oz of bourbon (Makers/Elijah Craig split). I had 4 oz of bourbon, the table spoon of vanill ex. and one bean sitting sat for a week in the secondary, then i decided to add more vanilla and a little more bourbon a week later. I let that sit for another week to marinate. It smelled great today. the sample i tasted was from the left overs of the bottling bucket. The vanilla this time was more pronounced then the last time. I'm going to try and let it sit until November.
If you can set a few sixer aside for like 2, 4, and/or 6 month down the road to see how it changes. Its your beer, a bit of experimentation on your part is part of the process.