You know you're a brewer if...

[JonK331]

...your standard home beer glasses are liter mugs.

 

[alcibiades]

you (wet) dream about going conical....

 

[ClaudiusB]

Going into the brewery to say goodnight to your equipment

 

[Netflyer]

After much time playing with fermentations that are weeks old you can now guess the correct FG by the amount of pressure it takes you to apply to the top of the fermenter to get a bubble... We call that 'Hydrometer finger'...

 

[cheezydemon3]

You post on a homebrew site thread called "you are brewer when.....

 

[SkiSoloII]

When the SWMBO lets you buy AG propane equipment because she wants the stovetop kitchen smells out of the house.

 

[JVD_X]

Have the State Police drive by your house really slow checking out the 'mash' and 'still' you have in your driveway.

 

[Netflyer]

Lol, let's see... that's 200 gallons per adult per household per year... hmmm... I swear I'm under that mr. officer sir...

That's not a still, it's a chiller, I swear!

 

[motobrewer]

...the idea of drinking an entire "chocolate malt" is disgusting to you

 

[joety]

Lol, let's see... that's 200 gallons per adult per household per year... hmmm... I swear I'm under that mr. officer sir...

That's not a still, it's a chiller, I swear!

Has anyone since the Carter administration ever been prosecuted on that? I don't think there is a cop alive (other than fellow home brewers) even aware of the limit.

 

[claphamsa]

what a great smell that is that comes from the brewery stacks! wish i lived close enough that i drove past one daily, not just when i want to

complete sidetrack here... used to live in cinci and I would drive 30 min out of my way to avoid the distillery.... bourbon mash..... yech

 

[Walker]

complete sidetrack here... used to live in cinci and I would drive 30 min out of my way to avoid the distillery.... bourbon mash..... yech

Same here. I didn't bother trying to avoid it. Just powered down I-75 and got off the highway as fast as possible.

 

[Netflyer]

Asks the guy w/12 kegs ...

:rockin:

 

[joety]

Asks the guy w/12 kegs ...

:rockin:

I was actually asking for a friend. My kegs all have cobwebs.

 

[Mountainbeers]

...when your roommates are uninterested in brewing but still buy ingredients for you so they can drink your beer!

 

[Effington]

Anyone else put "wanted" ads on Craigslist every month for homebrew equipment?

 

[zman]

You buy a chest freezer just so you can store your hops. That is what I had to do...true story

 

[Pat_13]

SWMBO and I are watching Iron Chef and the stuff a chicken in a pigs blatter to cook and she exclames...

"Why don't they just cook it in Bud!"

 

[NTOLERANCE]

Need to bump this back up, came across another one this morning.

On the way to work in the morning, you scratch your face, and you can still smell two row and cascades from last nites brew. Even after a shower.

 

[user 22118]

When you start figuring out the many things that you could add yeast to in order to create a drinkable alcoholic beverage. Tea, soda, juices.

When you have a party with ten kegs on tap, six varieties of bottled beer and a couple of growlers and you made it all

When SWMBO knows what a Lambic is and drinks it with you and enjoys it (just did this last night)

 

[user 22118]

you try to figure out what it would take to be able to use the spectrometer at work in order to find out the exact IBU you have in your beer...still trying

 

[EvilTOJ]

Have the State Police drive by your house really slow checking out the 'mash' and 'still' you have in your driveway.

Happened to me. I was boiling in the driveway getting ready to put the chiller in. They slowed WAY down in front of the house. I waved, they waved, they drove off. I'm guessing they were brewers.

If you pour it cold and let it warm up, sniffing every few minutes as it warms so you can judge how temperature changes the flavor profile. And the waitress looks at you like you're a nut-job!

If you order your beer by ingredients rather than name.

There are many brewpubs around here where that would not only not even get a second look, but you actually CAN order beer by ingredients. I love living here.

 

[Hawgbranch]

I was making coffee yesterday morning and I found myself trying to calculate how much water the coffee grounds were going to absorb so I could add enough water to end up with exactly 10 cups.......
I laughed quietly, alone, in the kitchen.

 

[GodsStepBrother]

you live in a small apartment have hops growing outside with the permission of the landlord, and a carboy full of imperial stout as a table centerpiece!

 

[Craig311]

You watch football on Sundays and see nothing but mash tuns on the sidelines.

 

[Hoppus_Poppatopolis]

You watch football on Sundays and see nothing but mash tuns on the sidelines.

That made me laugh. So true!

 

[CrazyJames]

You get laid off and start planing a brew day for the next day. Today a batch of Ed Worts Haus Ale I think.

 

[UncleDave]

...when pouring a Coca-cola, you leave the last quarter inch in the bottle.

 

[HalfPint]

but you actually CAN order beer by ingredients.

That's freaking amazing. I'd say pour me a pint of hops!

 

[SnickASaurusRex]

When SWMBO buys you a $100 dollar sweater, you say thanks, but the first one to try it on is the RIS from yesterdays brewathon.