Things about your co-workers that annoy you

CornyKegs 728
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hunter_la5 said:
Also a good joke:

Hide their office supplies.
Cover their entire office in Post-It notes.
Spit in their coffee mug.
Push them down the stairs.
Cut their brake cables.
Set them on fire.
Stabbing. Repeatedly.
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+teabag the body

I think that's how it goes.

I play a lot of video games.
 
DrunkleJon said:
Clear tape on the bottom of their mouse. You will soon hear the sound of a mouse being bashed on the desk.
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One guy here connected the receiver for a wireless mouse to his cubicle neighbor's computer, but kept the mouse on his own desk... Periodically, he would just move it to screw with the next guy's cursor. This went on for awhile.
 
another fun one involves a doorway. you know how people put water or confetti in a bucket on top of a door? it's very similar. except when they walk through the door, hit them in the mouth with a 36" piece of #9 rebar! then for extra laughs you can yell profanity and insults at them.
 
Billy-Klubb said:
another fun one involves a doorway. you know how people put water or confetti in a bucket on top of a door? it's very similar. except when they walk through the door, hit them in the mouth with a 36" piece of #9 rebar! then for extra laughs you can yell profanity and insults at them.
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OMG that's hilarious!
 
I once washed the engine room chief's coffee mug. I used soap and water and rinsed it out real good. That mug was clean as new.

You'd think I kicked his dog.
 
Zuljin said:
I once washed the engine room chief's coffee mug. I used soap and water and rinsed it out real good. That mug was clean as new.

You'd think I kicked his dog.
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How long was it before you could walk straight after that?

We had a young boot Seaman show up on Guam who, thinking that she was doing something nice, scrubbed every coffee cup while on the mid shift. They glistened.

The Cheifs were seriously considering NJP, but it was obvious she had no clue.

THAT was an interesting shift.
 
beernbourbon said:
HA! I use trackball mouse...... ain't no tape gonna git me!! :ban:
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Remove ball, tape over optical sensor (or put a piece of paper over it), replace ball. Done. Hah! Take that

beernbourbon said:
if they leave their computer on, or if somehow you have their password, and they are particularly computer illiterate, rotate their screen 180* in the display settings.....mouse runs backward, TOTALLY funks 'em up.
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or, go into computer settings, mouse and invert the mouse. Or set it up left handed.

Also, go into their word processing program and mess with the autocorrect. Or loosen the video cable on the back of their monitor. If you only partially pull out one side you can make the whole screen turn blue, pink, yellow, etc.
 
DrunkleJon said:
Remove ball, tape over optical sensor (or put a piece of paper over it), replace ball. Done. Hah! Take that
Click to expand...

Uhm...optical sensor in a trackball? Nope.

(....spent much of my early tech years teaching people how to scrape crud off the rollers inside a mouse...over the phone...to granny...whose cursor had stopped moving correctly...)
 
sablesurfer said:
Uhm...optical sensor in a trackball? Nope.

(....spent much of my early tech years teaching people how to scrape crud off the rollers inside a mouse...over the phone...to granny...whose cursor had stopped moving correctly...)
Click to expand...

the tracball mouse I use has an optical sensor.
 
DrunkleJon said:
Remove ball, tape over optical sensor (or put a piece of paper over it), replace ball. Done. Hah! Take that.
Click to expand...

Dammit....foiled again....

sablesurfer said:
Uhm...optical sensor in a trackball? Nope
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Yep, that's how a trackball works, has an optical sensor that reads the movement of the ball vs. the movement of the mouse itself.
 
Not to distract from this riveting debate about mouse balls but..

The young, overpaid engineer in the office next to me sneezes all day long. He's one of those self-proclaimed poor souls plagued with made up allergies. He grabs his nose when he sneezes, holding it in for whatever god awful reason and it comes out as this painful sounding snort. Much like the noise a duck makes. Just, ****ing, sneeze bro.
 
TheCADJockey said:
Not to distract from this riveting debate about mouse balls but..

The young, overpaid engineer in the office next to me sneezes all day long. He's one of those self-proclaimed poor souls plagued with made up allergies. He grabs his nose when he sneezes, holding it in for whatever god awful reason and it comes out as this painful sounding snort. Much like the noise a duck makes. Just, ****ing, sneeze bro.
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I agree. Let it go. You will feel better
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I have refrained from posting in this thread for quite some time but it is month end close and people have gotten on my last nerve.

When my coworkers request something it is an emergency and I tend to react quickly. Most responses are within an hour if I am in the office

When I request something from them it has gotten to the point that I give them a deadline, put a reminder in my calendar, send them a 48 hour and a 24 hour reminder. I normally get less than a 50% response rate.

Being a numbers guy, I track this and report to their superiors and mine...no results.

I report the accuracy of the (forecast) data they provide me verses the (forecast) data the predictive model I built creates (to populate the numbers when I got no responses)...to the Director of Finance. He asks my boss "Why do we need these other folks" in the same meeting. I think you can guess where it goes from there...and it is not with me getting a big fat raise.

My boss thought the big wigs were going to see it as a valid cross-check to what the humans where producing. He somehow did not note that month after months my variance was about 3.5% (-+) and consistently so while theirs varied from 4-11% swinging wildly.
 
I'll say it again...

Every manager keeps a certain number of deadbeats on the books so that when his boss tells him he has to cut payroll he can comply without adversely affecting productivity.

Think of them as the ablative insulation that burns away to protect the valuable payload. Be happy that they are there.
 
"here is xyz project and about 10% of the information you need to effectively get started on the project, if you have a question, just call my cell that I never answer or email me and i'll be sure to respond in about 3 weeks."
 
Wait...then what do you call this kind of mouse? Before laser mice...

mouse_ball_2.jpg
 
This is by far, the nerdiest conversation I've ever tried to break up.. and failed.
I'm going back to the Video Games thread.
Someone come get me when we can start complaining again.
 
Yakima 300

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