The stupidest comment on your beer

[BierMuncher]

SWMBO when forced to taste anything with an SRM of 7 or above...
"...tastes like whiskey..."

Neighbor when sipping my English Mild...
"...I love a good German stout..."

My Dad (God love him) when he see's pics of his old drill put to good use...(slightly off topic)


"...so...is that what you use to grind your hops???""

Sheesh Dad...it even says "Barley Crusher" on the front...

 

[Chris_Dog]

How long will pre-ground hops last in a food saver bag?

 

[HighPlainsDrifter]

Upon drinking my IIPA that I told him was "extremely bitter and you won't like it".

Him: "Wow the first part was really good but after I swallowed it, it tasted just like ass! You ought to try brewing a Miller light."

Me: "I'll get right on that, you want me to call you when its ready?"

 

[Bedlam]

You know, I don't like coming off as a snob to folks who really don't know much about beer. (I sure don't like it when a wine fanatic gets up my ass when I display my ignorance.) So I don't give folks a hard time about what they don't know. It's funny to talk about here, but I don't think I'd razz anybody too much unless they were just being obnoxious. Being a natural-born teacher, I really dig it when folks become open to learning more about it. And I really don't mind giving beer away to friends. For me, a big component of the fun of homebrewing is the social aspect. I like that friends come around to try the new stuff or just to hang out and watch me brew. And it's good to have company while watching the clock during a boil. Even better, it's good to have company to help clean up!

My favorite was a female friend who looked at the beer in a clear glass and said "It's dark, so I probably won't like it. I had dark beer before and it tasted bad." So I told her, gently, that color doesn't always mean "skunk" or hoppy or strong-tasting. It was a porter with a nice finish and she reluctantly agreed to try it. First taste: "Interesting." First glass: "It's growing on me." Start of third glass: "I like this ****! Whoooo!" Her boyfriend kept giving me the thumbs-up on the sly. Not sure if it was b/c I turned her on to good beer or that he figured he'd be a lucky guy later that night...or maybe both.

 

[zoebisch01]

You know, I don't like coming off as a snob to folks who really don't know much about beer. (I sure don't like it when a wine fanatic gets up my ass when I display my ignorance.) So I don't give folks a hard time about what they don't know. ....

...My favorite was a female friend who looked at the beer in a clear glass and said "It's dark, so I probably won't like it. I had dark beer before and it tasted bad."

I think though, there is a difference between people who make claims to knowing something vs. people who have had a bad experience like in the case of your friend. I can tolerate the latter, but the former type annoy me. Kind of like Tex Law's post about the Lager, that would annoy me .

 

[eschatz]

my roommate, "you're spending too much money on brewing beer".... slightly afterwords, "can you brew a Double IPA"! hahah

my roommate after EVERY beer that I brew, "needs more hops"... doesnt matter what i brew, stout, english raspberry ale, porter...

maybe its because i have to put up with him on a regular basis. i dont know. but i'm about to revoke his kegorator privlages!!!! :rockin:

 

[Kai]

my roommate, "you're spending too much money on brewing beer".... slightly afterwords, "can you brew a Double IPA"! hahah

my roommate after EVERY beer that I brew, "needs more hops"... doesnt matter what i brew, stout, english raspberry ale, porter...

maybe its because i have to put up with him on a regular basis. i dont know. but i'm about to revoke his kegorator privlages!!!! :rockin:

Oh, just make him an IPA, hop the thing to about two hundred IBUs without enough malt to support it, dry hop it with whatever you have sitting around, and whenever he makes the hops comment, hand him one of those. He'll learn.

(or just always have a good IIPA on hand).

 

[Vels]

A good friend of ours: I dont drink beer, i really dont like it.
Same guy 10 mins later: I only drink your beer, besides that i dont like beer.
He never really liked anything else I brewed, only that one. I brew it now and then and he is always 1st in line for a case.

Another classic conersation....
- Will i go blind ?
- No, moonshine can make you go blind.
- I that stuff on the bottom dangerous ?
- No, just dont pour and drink it, it tastes bad.
5 mins later: Can i have another ?

Cheers
Jakob

 

[beta pleated sheet]

I've been asked if homebrew can give you botulism. That was an interesting one. I've also gotten a lot of "I don't like beer, only yours."

Once about a month ago my dad went with me to the LHBS, and the first thing he asked the guy that worked there was "Has the hop shortage started yet?" That one's excusable for a non-brewer, but the guy looked like he was trying really hard not to laugh.

 

[zoebisch01]

I've been asked if homebrew can give you botulism. That was an interesting one. .

Well tbh, I think that question at least holds merit. The pH of beer is sufficiently low to inhibit Botulism.

 

[sAvAgE]

The most common one I get is "I don't like dark beers". Second most common is "You made this?"

Very similar at my house.
Father in law asks

"Why are you always making more dark beer?" (I havent made a dark beer since my Stout last may, he is reffering to either an amber ale (which is red when I make it) or the honey blonde, or the Oktoberfest)


Still cannot understand how he can classify this as "Dark Beer"

 

[adam h]

After presenting my first beer (Mr. Beer Pale Ale) to my uncle:
"This is good, but the real test is whether or not it gives you a headache"

 

[Arneba28]

Best Comment Ever...from my roommates girlfriend
While Brewing IPA she says "It smells like Body odor in here"
Me: your crazy
her:.it doesnt smell right
Me: You dont know what your talking about

After adding the total 6 ounces of hops
Her: "It smells like feet in here, its disgusting"
Me: "you have the most f*ed up orfactory senses known to man"

 

[quickerNu]

One friend calls my homebrew "that 90 weight you drink". He says "tastes great but it is so heavy" no matter what style it is. He likes Corona with lots of salt.

 

[MikeFlynn74]

My wife learned a long time ago that color doesnt indicate much.

She likes to try them all now.

I tried to talk a friend of mine who raises chickens, goats, cattle, horses, pigs. Milks the Goats and Cattle and makes cheese to get into home brew.
"I dont like dark beers"
UGH!


Also now I am considered a Beer snob if I dont want to waste my $ or time on a Budlight.

 

[JoSeR]

Worst ever was "its as good as store bought" this was coming from a BMC drinker

 

[aekdbbop]

Also now I am considered a Beer snob if I dont want to waste my $ or time on a Budlight.

Same the f#%k here.. pisses me off..

The other day I got a newcastle (the only good beer at the resturant)

the sever brought it to me almost frozen in a bottle.. and that was it.

I asked for a glass, seeing that their water glasses were pint mixing glasses.

She said, "you want a frozen mug?"

Nope, just a normal glass like that one"

Her: you sure?

Me: yes.

Then i had to warm my beer up from freezing temps, just so i could taste the damn thing.. and all the while, my friends are laughing at me..

kills me

 

[Schlenkerla]

This one is pretty good. ( Served my BIL a Pale Ale or an American Wheat)

BIL: "How did you get the alcohol into this? Did you add something like gin or vodka?"

Me: "No you ferment it like wine, add yeast and it makes the alcohol and carbonation."

About 30 days after this...He later bought a homebrew kit, made it, a week later he dumped it all out because he said it tasted nasty. He drank a glass right from the primary!!!

BTW - He hasn't brewed since then two xmases ago.

 

[Nurmey]

This one is pretty good. ( Served my BIL a Pale Ale or an American Wheat)

BIL: "How did you get the alcohol into this? Did you add something like gin or vodka?"

Me: "No you ferment it like wine, add yeast and it makes the alcohol and carbonation."

About 30 days after this...He later bought a homebrew kit, made it, a week later he dumped it all out because he said it tasted nasty. He drank a glass right from the primary!!!

BTW - He hasn't brewed since then two xmases ago.

That may be one of saddest HB stories I've ever heard. I hope I don't offend you but I think your BIL may be an idiot.

 

[beta pleated sheet]

"How do you make beer at home? Do you have to distill it?"

 

[Schlenkerla]

That may be one of saddest HB stories I've ever heard. I hope I don't offend you but I think your BIL may be an idiot.

No offense taken, he's an idiot and a *******. I told him I would help him get started. He didn't take me up my offer so its his loss.

I told him in that there was probably nothing wrong with it and he shouldn't have dumped it out. Personally, I think it was a fleeting moment of coolness. He didn't seem to care to talk about the experience.

 

[mrfocus]

"How do you make beer at home? Do you have to distill it?"

You should say you distill it from whiskey (Canadian or Irish, not some corn whiskey) and that you add hops to help get the alcohol out. Then laugh devilishly in your head while they believe you.

About 30 days after this...He later bought a homebrew kit, made it, a week later he dumped it all out because he said it tasted nasty. He drank a glass right from the primary!!!

Wow. I mean, that beer was so green he probably pissed green urine after that.

 

[Jumbo82]

Today while ice fishing with a bunch of Bud and Budlight drinkers;

Guy: What are you drinking?

Me: "A homebrew. Its an Oktoberfest. Want one?" (I was curious to see the response)

Guy: "I don't want a whole one, but I'll try a sip" *sips*. "Eh, not bad, but I don't like the aftertaste."

Me: "Yeah, my beer is pretty good, but its no Budlight." (tongue in cheek)

Guy: *Laughs* "Yep" (he took my comment at face value)

 

[Rick_R]

Me: "Yeah, my beer is pretty good, but its no Budlight." (tongue in cheek)

Guy: *Laughs* "Yep" (he took my comment at face value)

The irony is that it's much more difficult to make something that looks and tastes like a BMC than the brown ale you (generically speaking) have on hand -- ever mention that and the battle is lost, because obviously you just aren't able to make "good beer."

Rick

 

[Schlenkerla]

Wow. I mean, that beer was so green he probably pissed green urine after that.

Also, I bet he had the worst case of gas ever.

 

[RadicalEd]

A good friend of ours: I dont drink beer, i really dont like it.
Same guy 10 mins later: I only drink your beer, besides that i dont like beer.
He never really liked anything else I brewed, only that one. I brew it now and then and he is always 1st in line for a case.

Another classic conersation....
- Will i go blind ?
- No, moonshine can make you go blind.
- I that stuff on the bottom dangerous ?
- No, just dont pour and drink it, it tastes bad.
5 mins later: Can i have another ?

Cheers
Jakob

Actually, it's nigh impossible to get blind off of moonshine. Most is made with corn and barley, perhaps sugar. Now, brewers add all of these to brews that call for them, and we all know that you'll never go blind off of homebrew. Drinking moonshine is no worse for you than drinking the mash it came from...In fact, since distillation removes many of the bad alcohols, it's actually quite a bit better for you.

This myth comes from back in the days of prohibition, wherein some unscrupulous shiners added methylated spirits to their own, which was cheaper for them to produce. If you were to distill your own, there is almost zero danger from methanol etc, unless you're fermenting wood dust .

As for me:
Me: Hey mom, why don't you give this beer a try? It's a belgian blonde, light but tasty.
The old lady: No thanks, I don't really like beer except like some Stella every now and then.
Me: ummmmm....
....

Female friend upon drinking aged cider: Ewwww! this tastes just like beer!

 

[Mustangfreak]

My brother said he preffered Coor's Light over my Texas Blonda Ale. I wanted to slap him so bad.

 

[Gregg Meyer]

I get "this is kind of chewy and has a wierd aftertaste" I gave them a really well
done amber ale all grain. Before I knew really good beer that is what I would have said too. Ha!

Oscar,

 

[mrfocus]

In fact, since distillation removes many of the bad alcohols, it's actually quite a bit better for you.

It depends. I'm guessing that freeze distillation was more common, and that type does not remove bad alcohols (methanol and fusel alcohols).

Using fractional distillation you can get rid of all six of them (sources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methanol http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fusel_alcohol). Although freeze distillation would dangerously concentrate all of these (ESPECIALLY methanol) as they all freeze between -36 and -97 C.

 

[MikeFlynn74]

RadicalEd

A lot of that is true- The rest of people going blind if from Distillers using lead solder and pipes in their equipment leeching out lead into the alcohol.

Discarding heads and tails will rid 90% of all Fusels.

 

[EbenezerScrews]

Heard this several times: Typical coronoa&lime, milla lite(or milla chill! Oooo) drinker "This is good," sips again, "how'd you make it?"

HBT pamphlets? haha

Eb

 

[Bedlam]

RadicalEd

A lot of that is true- The rest of people going blind if from Distillers using lead solder and pipes in their equipment leeching out lead into the alcohol.

Discarding heads and tails will rid 90% of all Fusels.

That and some distillers used to use an old car radiator as part of their equipment. Eeek! So the lead solder would leech into the product. I've actually treated a case of heavy metal poisoning of this sort once. 'Course, the guy was such a hard-core alcoholic that it was hard to tell the difference between what was just baseline brain damage versus what was caused by the metals. Labs did show heavy metals, though, and we had to chelate him. He only got a little better...

 

[Jester369]

I have been super fortunate. I have yet to have one person give me any really stupid comments on my beer. Not everyone has liked everything I have made, but it's usually something like they didn't like my IPA, but they are not big hop fans. More common comments have been:

them - "So, when are you going pro?"
me - "Uhhh, when someone else wants to finance it!"

(EDIT - I think I make some pretty decent beer, but I don't think it's commercial caliber - yet! )

Of course, that can backfire. At a party this weekend I brought a growler of DoubleBuzz Espresso Stout (Walker's recipe) and one of the guys that tried it asked me how much he would need to give me to get a brewery started.

 

[TexLaw]

The irony is that it's much more difficult to make something that looks and tastes like a BMC than the brown ale you (generically speaking) have on hand -- ever mention that and the battle is lost, because obviously you just aren't able to make "good beer."

Rick

The battle doesn't have to be lost there. Often, when I get that comment (or even make it), I reply with or tack on the following:

"It would be pretty difficult for me to **** a man, too, but that doesn't mean it's better."

I know it is not much of an analogy, but it gets the point across.


TL

 

[cheezydemon]

MY Dad: "I love this one!" (It was an IPA, I had given him a case of 5 or six different brews)
ME: Yeah, that one turned out well.
Dad: "I'm not so fond of the ones with the star on the cap"
ME: "umm....that is what you are drinking"
Dad:"OH!...well then...What about the IPA with the leaf on the cap?"
ME: "That was an american amber"
Dad:"....I'm confused"
ME: "where is the list I gave you that identifies each one?"
Dad: "what list?"
Me:"........you are a really hard person to get a review out of."

Buddy:"This tastes pretty good! When will you try something more advanced, like michelob?"

 

[Joker]

Buddy:"This tastes pretty good! When will you try something more advanced, like michelob?"

My response: "I save those brews for friends that have a clue."

 

[capcrnch]

Me:"........you are a really hard person to get a review out of."

haha, that made me laugh..


I had another "here is your sign" comment this weekend...

"Seriously, im impressed, this is really good for something you made at home"
oh, only because I made it at home?
"No, im amazed you made this at home. Do you have a big vat and crap like that?"
Nope, its done all in my kitchen and sits in the closet in a 5 gallon glass "jug" until it gets bottled.
"That's amazing. You should get one of those 500 gallon vats"


Yeah, SWMBO won't mind that in the 2nd bedroom

 

[cd2448]

some guy tasting an IPA: "ooooh, this is bitter"

me: 'thanks"

 

[Crazytwoknobs]

"It would be pretty difficult for me to **** a man, too, but that doesn't mean it's better."

TL

Not to be rude, but the flow of this response made me think the next line would have been:

"It gets easier the more times you try it!"

I guess that's my stupid line for a thread about people saying stupid stuff.


Seriously though, I get these a lot:

"it tastes like beer!"
"it's not illegal to drink this, is it?"

 

[sAvAgE]

usually friends and relatives that come over they usually like what I make and I have been complemented on my Catholic school girl Stout, that it was the best stout they have ever tasted, my version of the Amber ale, is really popular




*sigh


God bless my father in law.