The police want me to get drunk

[uwjester]

Well, I scored the ultimate opportunity this weekend. A friend of mine encouraged me to "do my civic duty". I guess the police have a training session for rookies to help them learn to identify when someone is a little too drunk. They are going to send a van (man i wish it was a paddy-wagon, what would the neighbors think) to pick me up. I get a free ride in a cop car to the station where they will administer libations until I am stupid drunk. BAC tests every so often along with the usual "interview". They even asked me what I want to drink, so I won't be stuck with BMC. This is way better than jury duty.

 

[sterling214]

Would they send a plane to Mi and pick me up? Sounds like more fun that the last time I had to take a BAC test.

 

[DUCCCC]

Are you going to get any kind of amnesty, in writing, that protects you from any prosecution. Just in case...

...Like say you blow chunks in a cruiser?
...maybe take a swing at an LEO?

or... anyone?

 

[eschatz]

Did you tell them you want Arrogant Bastard? Or Pliny or something just freaking awesome like that?

 

[Laurel]

Ask for Chimay.

 

[Homercidal]

I think they ought to train on what it's like when they have to deal with 2 drunk people! I'll be right over!

 

[uwjester]

Another friend of mine did it last year and she did get sick at the station. Her husband had to come and get her. I thought about going beer-snob on them, but I think I'll just ask for a Breckenridge mix pack. I have no intention of hitting anybody, but I think I am going to be allowed to be a jerk. It all depends on what "profile" card I get. Apparently I have to act out a scenario.

 

[monty73741]

where do i sign up

 

[Displaced MassHole]

That is effing awesome! Usually when I'm really drunk at the police station I have to go to court over it.

 

[imaguitargod]

where do i sign up

I am want to know that too!

 

[NJTomatoguy]

I would love to help!

 

[BarleyWater]

Dude, that's awesome. I have a bunch of friends in FoCo, maybe I could come stay with them and get in on this test.

 

[hungrymonkey]

I have been asking my police buddies to hook me up with this type of training the next time it comes up.

Unfortunantly the only training I have done this year was taser target training.

 

[pedalmedic]

I was working as medical coverage for one and a fella was big and bad and was always" make it a double" found him on the toilet barfed in his own underwear. Got him to pull his own trousers up, and took him home...

 

[homebrewer_99]

I think they ought to train on what it's like when they have to deal with 2 drunk people! I'll be right over!

You mean like a "good" drunk "bad" drunk thing???

 

[EvilTOJ]

When they come pick you up, start a scene, screaming and yelling about lawyers and trying to get away. Make sure you're not wearing pants.

Have em drop you off at your house too. Only have them SQUEAL into your driveway, have them dump you out of the backseat, your wrists zip tied together, and they peal out again, lights flashing.

 

[imaguitargod]

When they come pick you up, start a scene, screaming and yelling about lawyers and trying to get away. Make sure you're not wearing pants.

Have em drop you off at your house too. Only have them SQUEAL into your driveway, have them dump you out of the backseat, your wrists zip tied together, and they peal out again, lights flashing.

Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

 

[uwjester]

When they come pick you up, start a scene, screaming and yelling about lawyers and trying to get away. Make sure you're not wearing pants.

Have em drop you off at your house too. Only have them SQUEAL into your driveway, have them dump you out of the backseat, your wrists zip tied together, and they peal out again, lights flashing.

Maybe I could get the in-laws to visit on that day too. Maybe my wife could play along and start crying and hitting me.

 

[BierMuncher]

Sure they want to give you free beer.

Uh huh...

More likely you're gonna help them reach their quota.

Nice knowin ya...

 

[EvilTOJ]

Maybe I could get the in-laws to visit on that day too. Maybe my wife could play along and start crying and hitting me.

An excellent plan! Especially when they drop you off drunk as a skunk.

 

[quickerNu]

One of my buddies got to do that, but drive a course at the Texas Transportation Institue. One of the best times he ever had!

 

[ChshreCat]

Now they need a program to teach how to handle drunk guys and bunches of hookers!

 

[beerthirty]

Now they need a program to teach how to handle drunk guys and bunches of hookers!

Please don't say you want to be one of the hookers.

 

[imaguitargod]

Please don't say you want to be one of the hookers.

Does it pay well?

 

[sterling214]

My dad had a pet skunk back in the 70's, apparently they don't like beer.

 

[imaguitargod]

My dad had a pet skunk back in the 70's, apparently they don't like beer.

My mom had a pet skunk once as well (desaced of course).

 

[zoebisch01]

So what happens if in your drunken state you shout things like "Yeah get a donut you stupid pig"?



Do they let that slide too? :fro:

 

[uwjester]

So what happens if in your drunken state you shout things like "Yeah get a donut you stupid pig"?



Do they let that slide too? :fro:

Probably not. And now that you have put it in my head...

 

[Stinkonamonkey]

I have done this 3 times now. It is really interesting, because at the first one I did, we got to see what we were blowing. To get to .08 (the legal limit in Arizona) I had to have 13 drinks in 3 hours. I was so hammered I couldnt see straight. The lane markers were doubling up on me on the way home and I was about to throw up.

And at least here, you do not order what you want... they gather up all the alcohol that has been confiscated over the last month and thats what you get to drink. So you can pretty much get any kind of mixed drink or whatever, but your not going to be getting microbrew selections.

Its also interesting to see what cops are looking for when they do those tests.

 

[JoeMama]

Hmmmm, I wonder if they have a program for something along the lines of PCP or some other nasty drug Ive never cared to experiment with. Ive always wanted to get naked and have endless adrenaline flowing in my veins while in a controlled environment, and surrounded by cops that I know wont taze me and kick my ass.

Does this mean I get to be on TV too??!!
-Me