The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[paulthenurse]

Happy August kids! School buses will be clogging up the roads all too soon.

The lazy little bastards. School busses... Pfffft!

When I was a kid we walked to school. 20 and a third miles each way. And that was after walking 8236.5646389 meters to church to be the alter boy for the six AM mass and then walking home(constantly looking over your left shoulder hoping Mrs Kuklinski dawdled talking to Fr. Menna after mass and would pull over and cut the trek short. We wore galoshes, PF Fliers and snowshoes. And when we HAD to cross a street we hustled our asses across. Knees to chest, dammit.

I wonder what ever happened to Mrs. Kuklinski’s daughter Caroline, my all time fav erotic dream co-star.

 

[Tipsy McStagger]

I married her.Ya,she made some bad choices in her life.Oh well.Holy Family School,Rockland Ma.Where was your school? I lived 2.5 miles from school and never took a bus.Walked every day rain or shine,snow up to my ass.

 

[bob1852]

Illegal.

Y'all have some weird laws out there...

 

[paulthenurse]

We won’t even tell you about Happy Hour.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Cannot be too happy.

 

[day_trippr]

There is no joy in Mudville...

 

[Tipsy McStagger]

I think it's hopeless at this point.Stick a fork in em,they're done.

 

[day_trippr]

Sadly, I'm inclined to agree.
Oh well, football isn't far off

 

[paulthenurse]

Deader than Yeager’s wiener. At this point I’m getting taunting sympathy texts from NY friends. Painful.

 

[paulthenurse]

I’m taking bitter solace in the Skankees .655 record isn’t quite as schweet as last years Sox record.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Nice reframe, Paul.

 

[paulthenurse]

I gutz mad skilz.

 

[paulthenurse]

F’ing Millennials. No one left behind, can’t we all get along, all things to all people *******.,.

Spawn 1 is hatching (yes, I’m going to be a Grumpy) and I’m cooking the food for a fairly large BBQ gathering for their pahtay. Today I get a text from Spawn 2 requesting I modify the proposed Mac and Cheese dish to make it gluten and lactose free.

Gluten and lactose free macaroni and f’ing cheese?

There is nothing else IN mac and cheese besides gluten and lactose!

Maybe a bit of cayenne and nutmeg but that’s like 1%.

I called her up and told her that “No, I’m not doing that. Gluten and lactose free Mac and cheese is called salad

“But Sheila’s sister in law is gluten and lactose intolerant!”

“Let’s feed her peanuts and hope for the best.”

“ Oh no! She’s allergic to...”

Me interrupting her.. “ How did I know?”

 

[smurfjuice]

Why do you do this to yourself your highness ?? maybe tell to eat elsewhere ...just sayin'

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Just tell them it's gluten free

 

[paulthenurse]

I’m not doing anything, Smurfy, especially making gluten and lactose free mac and cheese.

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

Eh, just put a friggin sign on that real Mac n cheese stating said dish has gluten and real cheese. She can eat other stuff. My gosh, unless a person has celiacs gluten isn’t going to kill them. Fad food sensitivities. About as stupid as the woman that stuck an octopus on her face for a picture. Of course real allergies are another story...

 

[paulthenurse]

About as stupid as the woman that stuck an octopus on her face for a picture.

More proof that our species is doomed.

 

[bluemoose]

Just use Cabot cheddar. It is lactose free. They have a recipe on their website. Use it all the time. They make really good gluten free pastas, just don’t cook it too long, and rinse the hell out of it after cooking.

 

[paulthenurse]

No.

 

[bob1852]

Where's the 2019 Masstoberfest thread??

I'm thinking about just starting one myself...

 

[paulthenurse]

I’ll get to it. End of Sept, beginning of Oct. You’re not coming anyways and I’m not making gluten-free/lactose-free/taste-free mac and cheese for that day either.

 

[paulthenurse]

Just use Cabot cheddar. It is lactose free.

Ok, I admit it. I thought you were being some sort of Vermont cheese snob, busting on the cheese equivalent of Budweiser.

Who f’ing knew?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Found in my closet....

 

[paulthenurse]

Handsome SOB

 

[paulthenurse]

If only you hadn’t wasted your money printing up those tee shirts and bought that stock in Polaroid like you wanted to... imagine how the world would be different.

 

[paulthenurse]

David Price on the DL. Go figure. The more things change the more things stay the same.

 

[Cape Brewing]

You look 70 years younger in that photo.

 

[smurfjuice]

And 140 lbs. lighter.

 

[paulthenurse]

Et tu, Smurfy?