The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[homebeerbrewer]

I'm in for the Bogathon. I'm smoke all of you douchenozzles, I've been standing around for way longer than most of you.

...

Yeah, you'll come in first in your age group.

 

[the_bird]

Meh. It was the "Bunny Hop 5K" fundraiser for a local homeless shelter. What did you ******** do with your Saturday morning?

 

[paulthenurse]

Meh. It was the "Bunny Hop 5K" fundraiser for a local homeless shelter. What did you ******** do with your Saturday morning?

Not much. I pruned the orchard. I pruned the vineyard. I fertilized the yard. And I mixed 35 eighty pound bags of concrete mix in a wheelbarrow by meself, bucketed it into place and smoothed it off. Then I drank a beer and went to bed. Other than that I screwed off all day.

 

[bluemoose]

Not much. I pruned the orchard. I pruned the vineyard. I fertilized the yard. And I mixed 35 eighty pound bags of concrete mix in a wheelbarrow by meself, bucketed it into place and smoothed it off. Then I drank a beer and went to bed. Other than that I screwed off all day.

Sissy!


Sent from the kingdom of beer.

 

[Melana]

Not much. I pruned the orchard. I pruned the vineyard. I fertilized the yard. And I mixed 35 eighty pound bags of concrete mix in a wheelbarrow by meself, bucketed it into place and smoothed it off. Then I drank a beer and went to bed. Other than that I screwed off all day.

Custom cement shoes?

 

[paulthenurse]

Custom cement shoes?

Yeager wears a 6.5.


FWIW, if certain other parts of Yeager's anatomy weighed in at 6.5 Mrs Yeager would be much happier.

 

[day_trippr]

Live and in color from Tropic Of Cancer Beach, Exuma, Bahamas.

Sideways is better than no ways.

Oh yeah: Suck it, Massholes!

Cheers!

 

[paulthenurse]

How did you get that lovely stranger to pose for a picture with you at the beach?

 

[day_trippr]

Plied her with fruity rum drinks. Works every time

Cheers!

ps: we were both happy to see the Marathon went so well. Plenty of peeps talking about it down here, lots of emotion and well wishes from them all...

 

[paulthenurse]

Hey Cape...
I volunteer to be the Grandmaster Cheif Poobah Official Muckeymuck for you at the Bogathon. I can be the Starter and I can also come in off the bench and close. I'll station myself at the finish and take the Official Photo Finish. I'll man the First Aide Tent and give out those cool aluminum foil blankets. And I can start IV's and mainline some Bog Water into the not-runners who might get dehydrated. Waddah ya say? I just want one of those spiffy Bog Strong tee shirts.

 

[paulthenurse]

So I lost my brand spanking new iPhone. Sucks. The battery was just about dead when I lost it and by the time I figured out it was really lost 24 hours had gone by and it was all the way dead and the find my phone app didn't work. So I bought an El Cheapo phone to last me till I get annoyed enough to spend $1000 for a new one. But I'm technologicaly challenged and cant figure out how to get my phone numbers off the cloud. So who wants to meet me at the BBC this afternoon and fix it for me? I'll buy the beer.

Chris? Why thank you. Say around 4?

The rest of you can text me your phone numbers in the meantime. Be sure to say who its from. Thanks.

 

[the_bird]

I'll wager $20 that Paulie's phone is in the middle of four thousand pound concrete slab.

 

[paulthenurse]

i'll wager $20 that paulie's phone is in the middle of four thousand pound concrete slab.

gfy

 

[Melana]

I'll wager $20 that Paulie's phone is in the middle of four thousand pound concrete slab.

Sounds about right

 

[Cape Brewing]

Hey Cape...
I volunteer to be the Grandmaster Cheif Poobah Official Muckeymuck for you at the Bogathon. I can be the Starter and I can also come in off the bench and close. I'll station myself at the finish and take the Official Photo Finish. I'll man the First Aide Tent and give out those cool aluminum foil blankets. And I can start IV's and mainline some Bog Water into the not-runners who might get dehydrated. Waddah ya say? I just want one of those spiffy Bog Strong tee shirts.

ehhhhhhh... no

Confirmed today that Joe Andruzzi is going to be a "celebrity bartender" for this thing. Kinda cool.

the response on the Book of Faces for this thing has been nuts. I honestly think it's going to sell out in under an hour.

 

[paulthenurse]

Joe Andruzzi is Celebrity Bartender and I'm not invited to be Celebrity Hot Sh!t? Really?

I mean I'm sure JA is glad, none of those B list stars like sharing their precious moments in the sun with Glitteratti like me but you should have told home to shut his pie hole and just be glad I'm willing to share the stage with him.

You still have time to swallow your pride and beg me to participate.

 

[bluemoose]

ehhhhhhh... no



Confirmed today that Joe Andruzzi is going to be a "celebrity bartender" for this thing. Kinda cool.



the response on the Book of Faces for this thing has been nuts. I honestly think it's going to sell out in under an hour.

Don't forget your urban challenged friends up here. Let me know 3 days ahead so I can mail my money order.


Sent from the kingdom of beer.

 

[Melana]

ehhhhhhh... no

Confirmed today that Joe Andruzzi is going to be a "celebrity bartender" for this thing. Kinda cool.

the response on the Book of Faces for this thing has been nuts. I honestly think it's going to sell out in under an hour.

Saving tix again for your 'friends'?


Sent from my iPod touch using Home Brew

 

[Cape Brewing]

I really have to see what the heck I am going to do about friends. I already have requests for about 30 tickets. The problem is, and this is what happened with the holiday party.... I "reserved" 20 tickets and then had friends #21-35 royally pissed at me because I didn't save tickets for them... so all of a sudden they "weren't good enough?"

It's a no-win situation.

I am heavily leaning towards simply making absolutely sure that friends know exactly when tickets go on sale and will then leave the ball in their court.

It's a nightmare trying to do it otherwise.







Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew because it impresses people

 

[homebeerbrewer]

So, does that make me friend #36?

 

[paulthenurse]

You don't have any friends.

 

[the_bird]

You should buy some friends, like Cape does. "Be my friend and you can meet Joe Andruzzi!"

 

[paulthenurse]

Anyone else wonder how much he had to pay Andruzzi to pose as his friend?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Zero. The charity the event is donating to is one that Andruzzi is tied to (although it's not his foundation) so he wanted to come and help out.

... nice try though.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

You don't have any friends.

I have lots of friends. But only I can see them...

 

[DirtyDawg10]

Pineda is an idiot...lol!!

 

[Cape Brewing]

Hey guys... in celebration of National HomeBrew Day (Sunday May 4th), we're going to hold a "Brew with the Brewers" session on Saturday, the 3rd.

You know... folks can come in... learn about brewing... maybe lend a hand.

I figured I would mention it in case any of you were looking to get better at the hobby.

... Paul... you may wanna reserve a spot

 

[Melana]

Very sweet of you Brian. Do you have a sign up sheet to brew with FW?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Hey... just thinking about you guys. Trying to give back a little.

no... no sign up sheet for F-Dub specifically but you can swing by and make a request.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Hey... it's a ballbustn' thread. I'm bustin' balls. (including the femal equivilent.. whatever that would be).

Joking aside though... we ARE doing a little contest for folks that want to come by and brew with us in celebration of Nat. Hombrew Day. We told people we didn't want really experienced brewers (like all of you guys) because we wanted it to be a real learning experience to go with the theme of the day. That and we figured anyone who was a really good home brewer would probably end up teaching us.

I think it'll be fun. I'm hoping for hot 22 year old Wheaton Co-eds in yoga pants but... my hopes aren't that high for that to come to fruition.

The wrinkle we tossed into the contest is that anyone who enters needs to tell us why we should pick them... in the form of a haiku.

I guess you could say we took a contest... and PUT OUR OWN SPIN ON IT!!! (fck you AZ... fck you right in the anus)