The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

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I missed a few pages here, so

Congrats on the tap room Cape! That sounds awesome!


How bout a spaghetti sandwhich with meatball calzones instead of bread?

And, Paul. Winnicunet in Norton has some giant Pickerel ( about all you can ice fish for around here) Use small shiners!
 
paulthenurse said:
Where in the world do you get shiners? (Other than the kind Yeager gets from getting teabagged.)
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Hahaha Wow! You didn't catch any fish last year Paul? I refuse to believe it!
You can get them at any bait shop. They are small shiny aptly named fish.


Edit: Also, that is some harsh tea bagging!
 
Not a f'ing one. Now, in my own defense, I really only went fishing twice. Once by myself and once with The Captain, Yeager and PTO, and that was much more of a 'Laugh at Yeager and drink" sort of day than a fishing sort of day. But no, I'm a lot behind on the Learn to Fish curve
 
paulthenurse said:
Joos, you sound like you know what you're talking about. You should come. I'm thinking Massapog Pond sometime after 2. I'll bring the ethanol.
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Thats Halifax right? I'm working tomorrow. But I may swing by afterwards if you guys are still there!
 
paulthenurse said:
GFY. You think it was easy to go 0 for '13?

It's funny, because I'm going to get my feet wet ice fishing tomorrow. Actually, I REALLY prefer to not get my feet wet, or any other part of me, for that matter. ( This is spot in the program where all of you arseholes start making Fat Paul falling through the ice jokes... Ya, I know. Hysterical. You guys are a riot.) I've never been ice fishing but the daughters boyfriend (The Captain) is a crazed fisherman and I bought him a few ice fishing dodads at BPS for Christmas. So we get to talking over the weekend and decide that we're going to go together for the first time. Tomorrow.

Me, I'd be perfectly fine pulling up to the ice and throwing a lure on top of the ice. If the fish want to munch on the lure bad enough they'll figure out a way to get it, right? Then, we can get down to the serious business of depleting the worldwide scotch supply. However, I know that that won't fly with him.

Sooooooooo, any advice would be most appreciated. We're on the south shore and he has class until sometime after 2, so we can't make it to some great lake in the Berkshires. Something local. I let the salesgirl at BPS lead me around by the wallet and dropped a lot more money on Dan's Christmas present than I planned but that means we SHOULD have everything we need to have 6 of those flag pop ups in working order. Is setting them up self explainatory? (AKA idiot proof) What do you use for bait? Worms are probably a bit tough to dig up in the back yard right now. Anything else we need to bring, other than warm clothes and the previously mentioned scotch.
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Seriously, is the ice safe right now? Do you have a fishing license? Call the local FD to see if the ice has been cleared for walking on. Better safe than dead!
 
PTN - come ice fish on the Norton Resevoir. It's only 5 ft deep so if you fall through the ice it will only be hilarious, not fatal (unfortunately). You can stop by my house and have some of my (bad) homebrewew (that kills cows at 50 paces, which should be enough to do you in).
 
Thunder_Chicken said:
PTN - come ice fish on the Norton Resevoir. It's only 5 ft deep so if you fall through the ice it will only be hilarious, not fatal (unfortunately). You can stop by my house and have some of my (bad) homebrewew (that kills cows at 50 paces, which should be enough to do you in).
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OK Chicken...
Ill call your bluff. PM me your number.
 
paulthenurse said:
I'm a New Englander. I grew up playing pond hockey. I don't need no f'ing firemen to tell me if ice is safe. How f'ing smart is a fireman anyways, they run into burning buildings?
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Sharon fire fighters were called today to rescue two men who were ice fishing on 12 inches of ice. Due to the extreme weigh of one of the men, the ice broke. When the man went to sit in his lawn chair it collapsed and said man broke through the ice. The second smaller man supposedly tried to help, but eyewitnesses state they saw the smaller man pushing the fat man under. In doing so he fell in also and got stuck under the fat man. Sadly the fat man survived and the skinny man suffocated, not due to water but because his face was firmly pushed into the fat mans buttocks.


Sent from my iPhone using Home Brew
 
yeager1977 said:
sharon fire fighters were called today to rescue two men who were ice fishing on 12 inches of ice. Due to the extreme weigh of one of the men, the ice broke. When the man went to sit in his lawn chair it collapsed and said man broke through the ice. The second smaller man supposedly tried to help, but eyewitnesses state they saw the smaller man pushing the fat man under. In doing so he fell in also and got stuck under the fat man. Sadly the fat man survived and the skinny man suffocated, not due to water but because his face was firmly pushed into the fat mans buttocks.


Sent from my iphone using home brew
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wow.
 
Does anybody remember the snl skit with Chris Farley in Tales from Little Women? Did a search in videos and couldnt find it. I see similarities

Heres the script

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/94/94klittle.phtml

185728.jpeg
 
InkBird 300

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