The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[bob1852]

Jesus. I must have been all sorts a druk or something. Wow.

Or maybe it was Tom Brady's balls slapping against the keyboard?

Hey, I've had a bunch of people up my ass (Hello Bird!) about the date for Masstoberfest. I haven't been able to pin it down because of a combination of work, school and travel issues. I will have a firm date by the end of the coming week. Promise.

I'll commit to attending and back out at the last minute as usual.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Trust me, standing in Paul's driveway drinking his IPA and eating pork jerky isnt something you'll die from if you miss

 

[DakotaRules]

Trust me, standing in Paul's driveway drinking his IPA and eating pork jerky isnt something you'll die from if you miss

Your going to make fun of someone else's bad BBQ...

 

[paulthenurse]

Your going to make fun of someone else's bad BBQ...

It is pretty farkin' ironic, isn't it?

And yes AZ, we know, we know. The sun is going to rise in the west, politicians are going to become honest and you are going to come to Masstoberfest! Got it.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Yeah, absa****inlutely I will. 12 years and about 20 pigs, I had ONE bad one (last year's NIHFC). Did you have this years?

 

[the_bird]

Hey, I've had a bunch of people up my ass (Hello Bird!) about the date for Masstoberfest. I haven't been able to pin it down because of a combination of work, school and travel issues. I will have a firm date by the end of the coming week. Promise.

You know, you could have just REPLIED to my ONE friggin' PM and my ONE friggin' Facebook question, instead of just ignoring them like an *******. "Not sure yet; I'll let you know" - how ****ing hard would that have been?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Sweet Jesus Bird. You're JUST realizing the insanely high levels of *********ism that he can reach ??

 

[Cape Brewing]

You know what Paulie... How's this? You pick the effin weekend and have Masstoberfrst at my place so I can use my pit. We'll buy two effin pigs identical in size from Den Bestins and go effin head to head. I'll bet any amount of cash you want to go to charity.

Let's go tough guy.

 

[DakotaRules]

Yeah, absa****inlutely I will. 12 years and about 20 pigs, I had ONE bad one (last year's NIHFC). Did you have this years?

It was my first…I don't hostem just eat at em...

 

[bob1852]

You know what Paulie... How's this? You pick the effin weekend and have Masstoberfrst at my place so I can use my pit. We'll buy two effin pigs identical in size from Den Bestins and go effin head to head. I'll bet any amount of cash you want to go to charity.

Let's go tough guy.

Hmmmm, may have to reconsider.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Paulie effin won't. He'll be all, "ewwww. I can't. My vag will get all sore if I even try"

Watch...

That's what's coming.

 

[the_bird]

You know what Paulie... How's this? You pick the effin weekend and have Masstoberfrst at my place so I can use my pit. We'll buy two effin pigs identical in size from Den Bestins and go effin head to head. I'll bet any amount of cash you want to go to charity.

Let's go tough guy.

I vote for this.

 

[DakotaRules]

I vote for this.

I second!

 

[bob1852]

Loser reimburses me for airfare?

 

[the_bird]

Even better, let's go over to Yeager's. Without telling him in advance. We'll just all show up. His SWMBO will *love* that.

 

[Cape Brewing]

I second!

Blsht. You're vote doesn't count. You missed this year's because your mom had other plans and you couldn't bring her like you did last year... And you're gonna talk smack!?

Oh... It's effin ON.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Yeah. Lets all go to Yeagers and hang out with four taps of blueberry ale. Good call.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Ohhhh. Paulie is all quiet all of a sudden. Probably got a bag of ice on his vag trying to stop having The Vapors from the shear sht spanking he would get in a head-to-head pig roast.

 

[DakotaRules]

Blsht. You're vote doesn't count. You missed this year's because your mom had other plans and you couldn't bring her like you did last year... And you're gonna talk smack!?

Oh... It's effin ON.

Hey ******* I was there.

 

[Cape Brewing]

No you weren't. Your mom and I would have noticed

 

[paulthenurse]

Very.


Apparently.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Ice melt already!?

 

[day_trippr]

Yeah. Lets all go to Yeagers and hang out with four taps of blueberry ale. Good call.

Ahahahahaha! Below the belt, but still funny as hell!

Cheers!

 

[paulthenurse]

Why in the world would I want to move Masstoberfest to your place? So you can corrupt it with your putrefied pork? I don't think so. Tell you what though, you deep fry up one of your pigs and bring it over and let the unwashed masses choose.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Paulie effin won't. He'll be all, "ewwww. I can't. My vag will get all sore if I even try"

Watch...

That's what's coming.

Why in the world would I want to move Masstoberfest to your place? So you can corrupt it with your putrefied pork? I don't think so. Tell you what though, you deep fry up one of your pigs and bring it over and let the unwashed masses choose.

You were close Brian...

Just sayin...

 

[Cape Brewing]

No kidding. It's sad. I think all those miles on that little bike seat turned him inside out... "down there".

 

[paulthenurse]

No I'm serious. I want to do a whole hind leg-o-cow but I'm nervous about doing on for the first time with a bunch people expecting that that's all there is to eat. I was at a guys house for a pig roast once and he tried something new. Farked it all up and his wife had to make a mad dash to the grocery store for hot dogs.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Ahhhh. So now it's switching to beef... Caus you know I'll embarrass you with pork. Ahhhh. I see

 

[Cape Brewing]

Let's see how many more excuses Paulie can come up with.

"oh... The sun will be in my eyes!"

"Ooo my arm!!!! It's broken!!" (in his best Rodney Dangerfield voice)

"I would love to Bri but..... Faaaa-laming hemroids. I can't stand for more than 15 seconds!"

 

[barneygumble]

I for one would separate and distend my jaw for both steer and pig. I've cooked both in my machine. Not that I could attend anything October related unless its held on Wednesday. I hate my schedule 8 months of the year.

A hind quarter needs to be treated very carefully and needs ALL the fat on it so it doesn't dry out and become cardboard on the thinner and ends before the thicker areas of the rump are cooked to med rare. Wrap the beef in 4 layers of soaking wet cheesecloth and baste it regualarly. Beer would be a good baste. Red wine and beef broth is better. Pig has the skin on to hold in moisture.