The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[Cape Brewing]

Cluck

LOL.. You can swing on over and dance on my lawn in a chicken suit if you want.

 

[paulthenurse]

Cluck cluck cluck cockadoodledooooooooo

 

[Cape Brewing]

Missing the Jamboree to hit the Cape for a triathlon would be even dumber than missing the Pig Roast to hit the Finger Lakes. Sorry. I ain't that retahded.

 

[paulthenurse]

LOL.. You can swing on over and dance on my lawn in a chicken suit if you want.

I would hardly have been the first...

 

[TheDudeLebowski]

Congrats Paulie. I did a fat guy triathlon yesterday and was sweating like a b*tch.

 

[paulthenurse]

OK, so you have to get drunk and stupid on the 8th...

Don't tell me... You're getting the George Brett Memorial Hemerroid-ectomey on the 16th and that's why you are clucking out that day.

 

[Cape Brewing]

I would hardly have been the first...

I don't even know wtf that is supposed to mean....

 

[Cape Brewing]

I'll tell ya what Paulie... Since you're now an athlete and I am so out of shape, how about we just have a simple running race? On Sept 16th... We'll do a simple four mile run

How's that?

You've been training for this triathlon so this should be no problem.

 

[Cape Brewing]

And we'll do something light... Like $250 to the winners choice... $500 if I run the last mile backwards.

 

[the_bird]

Does this mean that you've finally decided on a date, Paulie?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Cluck....

 

[Cape Brewing]

Cluck, cluck....

 

[bob1852]

 

[paulthenurse]

Any punk can run a few miles.

We're talking about the ultimate endurance event... Well, I guess you and I should acknowledge our long suffering wives but Thales not go there....

C'mon. You mock me cause I ONLY managed to complete my first tri ahead of a couple of cripples and arthritic grannies. I say I'm challenging you (20 years my junior) to the same. You used to skate. Hip check me into the bushes!

 

[Cape Brewing]

LOL!!!! It's now a "tri"?? Is that cool triathlete lingo??

 

[paulthenurse]

When you earn your membership you get to use the cool lingo.

So when you got off the train yesterday did you run all the ways to your car? Backwards?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Hey, your the dude who runs "tri's" and is too chickensht to get out for a quick little jog.

 

[paulthenurse]

Quick doesn't belong in the sentence when we're talking about me running.

 

[Cape Brewing]

So that's a "sorry, I'm too scared" then?

 

[paulthenurse]

What scared? I challenged you, D'bag

 

[Cape Brewing]

I am not doing a triathlon. 1) I don't even own an effin bike and 2) you have been training on your bike for a farkin year. Fine! You win on a bike. There.

Now what about the other two? You really wanna jump in the ocean? Fine. We'll do a swim and a run. They are both areas you don't have months and months of training ahead of me on. You have a huge head start on me on the running and the swimming but you're effin old as dirt so we'll call it even and go from here.

 

[paulthenurse]

I'll go $20 if there's no bike involved. I know my strength.

More important, I know my weakness.

 

[paulthenurse]

I AVERAGE a 15 minute mile running. "Faster than your average glacier!" I walk a 16 minute mile. I can swim the half in 18 if I don't damn near drown because of the choppy waves.

That was VERY disconcerting. I saw down at Massapog a good half dozen times, it was always a mirror. On Sunday u had swallowed a gallon by the first buoy and puked it all up by the second. It is VERY hard to swim and puke at the same time.

 

[bob1852]

I AVERAGE a 15 minute mile running. "Faster than your average glacier!" I walk a 16 minute mile.

Sounds like you'd do well in the Olympic sport of fast walking.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Sooooo. You're basically saying I would own you, with zero training, in two of the three events of a "tri" but you would make it up on the event you have been training for for over a year on while I don't even own a bike... Is that your big tough guy stance?

 

[paulthenurse]

Something like that. Except for the part about you owning me. I'd kick your ass.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Lay off the sauce old man

 

[DakotaRules]

You too bags of mayo ain't got nuthin on each other except when your placing your gut on each others forehead.

 

[paulthenurse]

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit reading that

 

[DakotaRules]

That's what I was going for!