The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

[barneygumble]

Wow, a librarian? That must be an exciting job...

I was embibing at the time...libertarian.

She Who Must Be Obeyed

No, I'm not the one who makes that vow..and no preevert pics of teh missus. Sorry to disappoint the nurse. I will, however take preevert pics of mahself in a bra and post em here if you want.

You aren't missing anything with the local club, IMO. I've never quite understood how a group of guys could take something as fun as homebrewing and completely suck the life out of it. I was part of the club when it first founded (back when meetings took place in the non-defunct Pittfield Brew Works), and it was pretty cool. Helped that there were a couple HBT'ers there, too. Dropped out for a while (too busy working on the house), but I came back for a while when it was in Kevin's shop, and it just really sucked. The guy who used to man Kevin's shop, I can't remember his name, doesn't know jack **** about brewing.

But, I don't know... it was just boring as ****.

Take a ride over to Hennessy Homebrew, in Rensselaer. I love Northern Brewer, but Hennessy is a pretty kick-ass homebrew shop.

I'll check out Hennessy. And good to know about the club that I'm not available for. The brew works made some good beers, and some ok beers, but I do miss them too. Now its a pizza joint. I never liked the quality or lack of selection in Kevin's shop. He did better working outta his house.

 

[paulthenurse]

Who said anything about perverted? Something 'artistic' would have been fine. Oh well, that would probably get us taken to the woodshed. Again. This thread is wicked pissa, it would be a shame to send it to timeout.

Besides, I'm probably old enough to be your SWMBO's kindly older cousin, it would be kind wrong to check her out in those 'artistic' poses. I would do it so as not to hurt her feelings but it would be just a couple of perfunctory glances and I wouldn't enjoy them. Really.

And as for you, Dakota, I've half a mind to banish you from the thread for a week. You don't give up the meaning of the SWMBO to someone who just asks for it. They need to earn it, show a little initiative, do a little research, read up a bit. It's all part of earning the HBT culture, of learning how to be an EAC. If you just spoon feed them we end up with a bunch of Rick's and Rook's hanging around.

 

[barneygumble]

Who said anything about perverted? Something 'artistic' would have been fine. Oh well, that would probably get us taken to the woodshed. Again. This thread is wicked pissa, it would be a shame to send it to timeout.

Besides, I'm probably old enough to be your SWMBO's kindly older cousin, it would be kind wrong to check her out in those 'artistic' poses. I would do it so as not to hurt her feelings but it would be just a couple of perfunctory glances and I wouldn't enjoy them. Really.

And as for you, Dakota, I've half a mind to banish you from the thread for a week. You don't give up the meaning of the SWMBO to someone who just asks for it. They need to earn it, show a little initiative, do a little research, read up a bit. It's all part of earning the HBT culture, of learning how to be an EAC. If you just spoon feed them we end up with a bunch of Rick's and Rook's hanging around.

Prolly right. No point in sending this thread to the woodshed. And I did look for the definition of O. I summized the rest. I went to the beginners' forum and looked for definitions and acronyms and everything. I even tried the search feature. Then I searched for the meaning of the O on google, without filters, cuz I was bored. Much better results there.

 

[barneygumble]

Red Sox SUCK!!! Fire Valentine! Beckett is a bum, we shouldda canned him! Batters cant hit a watermelon with a sledge hammer!!!

Sox down 2-0 in the second.

 

[bluemoose]

160 -2!

 

[homebeerbrewer]

It's not called the woodshed, it's called the boneyard. PTN spends so much time there, his keyboard is sticking. Either that, or his fingers are all sticky, and he can't type worth a sh!t.

Oh, barney, PTN is old enough to be your SWMBO's grandfather, not older cousin...

 

[barneygumble]

It's not called the woodshed, it's called the boneyard. PTN spends so much time there, his keyboard is sticking. Either that, or his fingers are all sticky, and he can't type worth a sh!t.

Oh, barney, PTN is old enough to be your SWMBO's grandfather, not older cousin...

The boneyard is invisible to me. Must be one of dem dar preemium perks. Are there naked bewbie pics of wimminz? Cuz I dont wanna see naked bewbie pics of PTN.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Yeah, plenty of nekid wimminz, but thankfully, none of PTN.

 

[barneygumble]

Yeah, plenty of nekid wimminz, but thankfully, none of PTN.

That is a relief. None of these women have adam's apples and are beauty queens from Canada, I hope. (I know for sure that if I was drunk in a bar and picked that up, not knowing, I'd have hit it and bragged about it. I think I need a shower for even saying that)

Anyway, I buy my stuff mostly from NB, and was hoping that by late summer, when I'm back in brewing mode (I have two more batches in the pipeline then its summer haitus for me. I have two on tap, two ready for secondary, one lambic framboise on raspberries and the two ready for brewing next Wed when I get time off) that I could line up an ordering buddy. I just got back into brewing after taking a couple of years off and have scaled back. I brew mostly extracts with specialty grains, but I also brew BIAB partials and all grain. My three tier system is collecting mothballs. It was too labor intensive and too damn cold in winter to brew. I aint no spring chicken either. The NB syrup is gooood stuff. Briess makes it for 'em and they specify the grains used and list them on their site. Its fresh as all hell, and if you buy cases of 6 pounders, its just over $2,25/lb. Good variety too. I asked once on the phone if they would mix n match the case, they were hesitant, but I think it could be done. I still dont get why people like dme over this stuff. I think its cuz they are still buying from the LHBS and dont know.

Why buy dehydraded LME, lose flavor and freshness and pay more? Do they still judge LME by those aweful coopers cans?

 

[paulthenurse]

I DID walk over and ask if she was all right before snapping the picture.

I sure hope she took the CDW on her rental.

 

[barneygumble]

View attachment 56123

I DID walk over and ask if she was all right before snapping the picture.

I sure hope she took the CDW on her rental.

So no pics of the girl?

People who rent zip cars just aint right.

 

[paulthenurse]

She was, to be kind, matronly.

Hey, you might like that sort of thing, and if that's what melts your butter, well, good for you. Most of use like them pre-menopausal, but it takes all kinds.

 

[barneygumble]

She was, to be kind, matronly.

Hey, you might like that sort of thing, and if that's what melts your butter, well, good for you. Most of use like them pre-menopausal, but it takes all kinds.

Never underestimate the hawtness of the sounds of brittle pourous pelvic bones crushing under you.

 

[bob1852]

Looks like my trip to Hadley may happen afterall sometime this spring.

Any deep fat fried pig events going on?

 

[barneygumble]

Looks like my trip to Hadley may happen afterall sometime this spring.

Any deep fat fried pig events going on?

I like deep fat fride pig. mmmm.

BBC is close, you might wanna check that out, and Opa Opa is just a few miles away too, just outside of Northampton

 

[paulthenurse]

Let us know when and we'll pull something together AZ. There's NO WAY you're coming out this way and not waking up in protective custody.

 

[bob1852]

Let us know when and we'll pull something together AZ. There's NO WAY you're coming out this way and not waking up in protective custody.

Will do. Already met Cape, so need to do that again.

BTW, out west, a "short" drive is four hours or less (booze not involved of course), so distance isn't an issue...

 

[paulthenurse]

Ya well this ain't 'out west!'. You can make it from the Maine border thru NH, across Mass,RI, CT and into NY in four hours.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

She was, to be kind, matronly.

Hey, you might like that sort of thing, and if that's what melts your butter, well, good for you. Most of use like them pre-menopausal, but it takes all kinds.

What's wrong with a leather interior?

 

[Cape Brewing]

Looks like my trip to Hadley may happen afterall sometime this spring.

Any deep fat fried pig events going on?

Leaning towards July 14th.

 

[paulthenurse]

I'll do my 'Good Deed for the Day' and alert the Department of Public Health so that they can put on extra staff for that week.

 

[barneygumble]

OK, my Bday is almost ova. Where can I get a nice sweet 18 year old to tickle my special parts with her tongue before midnite in the Shire's? She has to be really pretty.

 

[paulthenurse]

PM me. I'll give you Yeager's number.

 

[barneygumble]

PM me. I'll give you Yeager's number.

Heshe lives too far away. Dont get me wrong, the Canadian Ms whatever contestant would definitely qualify.

So I got a big brew day tomorrow. Two batches. First one is AG the ol fashioned way! Gettin the three tier out for the first time in over two years!

Second is an extract, with grains that I tweaked just a bit.

8+ hours makin bier tomorrow!

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

Rick,
sounds like we can do this, so I'll bring a bottle of Pliney next Tuesday for the club. The beer now is at basement temperature - about 55 F if I'm guessing (or maybe 55.67834, which I guess is 56). If it looks like it's going to be hot next week, I can bring it on ice. (after reading the text below, I don't know the bottling date right now)

Here's some info regarding the beer from Russian River website:
Pliny the Elder Double India Pale Ale


Pliny the Elder is brewed with Amarillo, Centennial, CTZ, and Simcoe hops. It is well-balanced with malt, hops, and alcohol, slightly bitter with a fresh hop aroma of floral, citrus, and pine. Best enjoyed FRESH! That is why we make it in such limited supply. Actual bottling date is printed on each bottle!


Where did we come up with this name? Back in the year 2000, our friend, Vic Kralj, who owns the Bistro in Hayward, California, decided to have his first ever Double IPA festival. Vic invited 10 breweries, 6 of whom (including us) had to brew something special for him since we had nothing that would fall under this style category. Vinnie had made a Double IPA at Blind Pig in 1994, but was not brewing one at Russian River Brewing at the time. He had an idea for the recipe, but not a name. After much research in beer books, brainstorming, and deliberation, we came up with "Pliny the Elder". Pliny, the man, lived in the first century- 23 to 79 A.D. According to our brewing references, he and his contemporaries either created the botanical name or at least wrote about Lupus Salictarius, or hops, currently known as Humulus Lupulus. That was a very early reference to an important part of any Double IPA! Pliny the beer has now become one of our flagship brews!

Pliny the Elder was immortalized by his nephew, Pliny the Younger, who wrote about his uncle succumbing to ash and smoke during the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in 79 A.D. while rescuing people. Cheers to the scholar, historian, officer, writer, and Roman Naturalist- Pliny the Elder!

Availability
Pub draft and bottles, local distribution draft and bottles, all distributors draft, West Coast and Colorado bottles, year-round

Original Gravity: 1.070

Alcohol by Volume: 8.0%
Color: Copper
Bitterness: High

Must have missed that raffle...ahem

 

[barneygumble]

Long brew day. Up at 5 am, straight to the garage, and was heating water before the coffee was ready. I had set everything up and washed everything out last nite, so I could brew right away. Two batches. AG brown ale and a full boil extract ipa. Finished putting everything away around 3 today. Then the ms made my steamahs and lobstah for the birthday. Now I'm tuckered out, beered up, and stuffed. Burp.

 

[DakotaRules]

long brew day. Up at 5 am, straight to the garage, and was heating water before the coffee was ready. I had set everything up and washed everything out last nite, so i could brew right away. Two batches. Ag brown ale and a full boil extract ipa. Finished putting everything away around 3 today. Then the ms made my steamahs and lobstah for the birthday. Now i'm tuckered out, beered up, and stuffed. Burp.

+1

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Must have missed that raffle...ahem

Yeah, the person with the tickets couldn't make the meeting. We'll do it next meeting, if nhwrecker doesn't drink it before then.

 

[Cape Brewing]

Blind Tiger equals goooood.

 

[ComcastWineRookie]

Blind Tiger equals goooood.

What ya drinking, I loved that place...I heard the Charcuterie & Cheese Plate was amazing